Paranoia
by Herr Wozzeck
Summary: The tournament had been cancelled. Ganondorf and Marth left the tournament a happy couple. Roy and Zelda became happy after the events of the tournament. Everybody became happy. Except Link. This is the story of his descent into madness. SemiAU YaoiRape
1. Prologue

Hello, people! Herr Wozzeck here with the ever-so-awaited _Paranoia_! I can't wait to get started, so let's get going already!

I really should disclaim, so here you go;

Super Smash Brothers does not belong to me; it belongs to the guys at Nintendo and Hal Laboratory.

Now, I'm off to listen to the world's longest symphony non-stop for the rest of the night.

Thou knowest the rest. Here's the prologue, and enjoy!

* * *

Prologue

I shivered a little as the bailiff shouted at all of us to stand; the jury was walking back in.

I've been in this courtroom for hours, and they've done stuff to see if I have a long prison term or not. It all ended just now when I admitted to getting Samus to lie under the oath. Oh, dear she got pissed when I called her a bitch in front of a room full of news reporters and fellow competitors.

Oh well. So much for my wonderful defense.

Believe it or not, I am a criminal; I've killed three people in one night, chopped the arm of one of them off, and sent another one into a coma. All this, to kill the man that's in a coma.

Man, it's sad what crack will do to you. I can't believe I even met the guy who sold me the goddesses-forsaken stuff. All of a sudden, I can't believe I was having those delusions that my popularity was waning; now it actually is waning, and it's all my fault.

The rest of the courtroom sat as well, and I looked at the judge as he turned to the juror who would pronounce the verdict.

"Has the jury reached a verdict?" asked the judge as everybody sat back down.

"We have, your honor," said the young man the judge addressed.

Okay. This is it. The moment of truth. I know I'm going to be found guilty, but for some reason I'm still riled up about the chance that I might not actually have to die because of what I did.

"The jury finds Link… guilty… of three counts of first degree murder against Ms. Cornelia Hand and two members of the Super Smash Brothers. He has also been found guilty of one count of possession and use of cocaine and one count of lying under oath."

Hmph. So be it. No matter what, I'm going to get terrible punishment now.

"Link," said the judge, turning to the hero. "For being found guilty, your sentence is death, by the electric chair."

Great. Fucking capital punishment just had to exist for the pleasure of my use. I mean, okay, send me to jail for life, I'll be fine. But death?

No. Just no. It's not fair.

He brought the gavel down on the piece of wood that lay on the stand.

"Court adjourned!"

The people filed out almost militaristically as I was fitted back into the cuffs that those security people would always use to ferry people to and from the courtroom and the prison.

Why the hell do they even bother? It's not like I'm going to try to escape here! I mean, okay, I know what I did was wrong, so don't fucking pound that fact on me!

I didn't dare to look up while I was being taken to the police car that would ferry me to the federal prison from here. I was shamed by my own actions, and I'm not about to look at anybody in my shame.

Back when I faked everything, I felt that I could do anything. Fuck, I thought I could get away with this. But goddamn it, I had to get in the way of everything.

And I thought Ganondorf was an asshole. Man, talk about me needing a reality check.

Eventually, we walked out of the door, and a million lights flashed at me. People came in asking questions, and I got overwhelmed.

Fuck the tabloids. Can't they see I just shamed myself and that I'm in no mood to answer questions?

If there's one thing I do have to give credit to these police people for, it's that they're damn good at keeping as little attention on me as possible. They may be putting me in hell later, but right now I don't want the attention the tabloids are giving me.

Thank the lord they got me out of that crowd and into the car rather quickly.

However, the shame rushed into me again when the driver started the car. I felt all of the self-hatred coming back and all of the questions coming back to my mind.

I wasn't in a mood to dwell on the questions, so to answer them I swore quietly to myself as the car drove me away to my final bedroom.


	2. Chapter 1

Hello, people. You know who's here by now.

So, I have a concert coming up on Tuesday. No, it's not _Carmina Burana_. (Otherwise, we'd be royally ass-raped by our lack of experience with the work.) Therefore, we're safe with that.

I heard the choir just started working on it, though. Of course, it comes as no real surprise to me given the fact that the choir director is a dumbass. I mean, at least my own conductor recognized that the 16th was too late for us to start work on Carmina Burana, so he had us sightread most of it at the end of September (and by now we have at least one place in check until November). But the choir is this late? Man, he fails at life.

Meh. We did Beethoven 9 back in sophmore year, we can do _Carmina Burana_ in senior year. I have confidence in our abilities as an Arts school (though I do wonder how they're going to get a tenor that can stay at the top of his range without cracking unintentionally), so we shall prevail.

And since my dad is getting a camcorder with which to record the concert, I'm going to see if I can procure the data of the recorded concert so I can post it on Youtube. Hooray for mass media! (H.W. waves a flag around.)

So I'll alert you to when I post that up. Then, you can check it out.

But for now, here's the next chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 1

**Oh, man I can't believe I'm actually used to this darkness after only two days.**

**Darn**** the pawn shop industry. I really think it needs to end.**

**After all, it did get me in this place; the manager of the local joint of pawn shops did ask me to get a good old-fashioned metronome from somewhere. I had no choice, really, since the darn guy always threatens to shoot my sister Mist in the head if I don't. So I had to steal one from my rich friend ****Soren****, who immediately called the police on me upon finding out that I had pawned it.**

**Justice was served, though; I pushed a charge against the manager because of threats of homicide or something complicated like that. He was found guilty, and he was fired from his job by the federal government and given a two year prison term.**

**But I was sent here ****to carry out a**** three month**** sentence****. I have to sit here away from Mist because of something I did to keep her alive.**

**I hope she doesn't hate me for this; Mist is the only family I have left in this messed-up world; dad died a year ago, and my mom was dead in bearing Mist. I don't want to lose the love of the only person I have left in this world that needs my love. At least she has Rolf to provide her with housing, but I still feel terrible; without my paycheck and without me, this entire microcosm is going to spiral downwards. I'm going to lose my job, I'm going to lose the apartment, and then Mist is going to get angry at me for losing both.**

**I don't want her to hate me; hell, she's been the pride and joy of my life since dad died, and I don't want her to hate me over something like this.**

**I ****sighed**** a little as I thought on this.**

**Where is the blessing of ****Ashera**** in times where I actually need it?**

**Footsteps came from across the hall. This broke my train of thought as I wondered who would come this way at ****eight ****o-clock**** in the evening.**** (If you must know, this is the time we're supposed to spend in the cells.)**

**Finally, though, I saw something move in the darkness; a pair of police men stopped in front of my cell, then opened ****it and ushered in somebody new. I was unable to make features in the darkness, so I just continued looking.**

**"You'll be stuck here for a while, man," said one of the policemen (I think it was a girl.). "Hope you don't run into too much trouble."**

**My new cellmate (or so I assumed) said nothing as the two policemen**** closed the door behind them and**** left.**

**He just stood in front of the doors as time went by, and the silence was unbearable.**

**Finally, I couldn't take it anymore.**

**"What's ****up with the silence?" I asked him.**

**The figure still didn't respond to me.**

**"Hello?" I asked.**

**I thought I heard a faint murmur coming from him. I wasn't sure, but just in case I decided to climb down from the top bunk (that was where I had been the entire time, after all) to confront him directly.**

**"You know, there are people that would like to know about you," I said as I stood next to him.**

**"Why would you talk with me?" asked the figure. The words came out almost inaudibly, and yet I was able to make enough sense of them to respond.**

**"Hey, you're human," I told him, leaning up against the wall as I spoke to him. "We all make mistakes sometimes. Some of them are really bad to the point that you get here, but hey, at least you can figure out what you did wrong, right?"**

**"You don't understand, though…" responded the figure, voice still close to the bottom of the human frequency range. Why the hell is he so quiet?**

**"Of course I do," I told him. ****"Me? I had to do stuff for my sister, and this is where I ended up because of that."**

**"And of things for myself?" asked the figure. "I… I'm just an idiot who went on a murder spree while high on crack. All because I thought people liked me less."**

**"****Hm****, so you're that guy who—?" I asked.**

**"Yes, I am," responded the figure. In the darkness, I saw him turn to face me, sapphire orbs glowing like a pair of moons in a starless night.**

**"Ouch," I said. "At any rate, though, ****you're still a person, and you still deserve to have somebody know you. You know?"**

**The other person that was with me sighed.**

**"I guess you're right," he responded. "Still, I've been an asshole lately."**

**I just shrugged. Normally, I would have told them to get some Listerine with which to wash their mouths, but in my first two days here I've heard more swear****ing ****than I think I'll ever hear in my life.**

**Man, I think these guys have no mind for anything around here.**

**"Well, that doesn't matter," I told him.**

**I stretched my hand out to him in the darkness.**

**"Ike," I told him.**

**He looked first at my hand, and then at my eyes.**

**"Link," he told me, before taking his hand and shaking my hand congenially.**

**I nodded understandingly, walking back to the bunks.**

**"You get the bottom bunk," I told him. "I wouldn't give mine up if I wanted to."**

**"Why?" asked Link as he walked over to the bunk bed and sitting on the bottom bunk.**

**"Because I ****fell off of it once****," I told him. "If you wake up and I****'m in front of you, don't worry;**** this bed is unsteady."**

**"Right," he said. By then, I had climbed to the top bunk and ****laid**** down so that I stared at the ceiling.**

**"'Night," I said.**

**There was a small ruffling underneath me as Link shifted his position.**

* * *

Okay. I'm in my first morning at the federal prison. 

I woke up with a huge discomfort rising in my back, realizing that the sink was right there and so was the toilet. It was also a little dark in there. I think it was probably the early morning.

And as I washed my face, I couldn't stop thinking about how fucking uncomfortable that bed was. God _damn_ it, that bed was uncomfortable. The springs were way too hard, and I thought I felt things crawling under it.

Man, if the federal government actually decided to give their prisoners good homes I would be okay with it! But not like this! I mean, okay, I did some really messed up shit, but in the gospel according to my cellmate I deserve better than this!

I really need to cleanse myself of the past. I really do. But I can't do it here.

And I don't think I'll be able to if that's the case.

Right then, I was standing in front of the door, waiting for Ike to wake up or for breakfast to be called.

The former happened first. I heard a yawn from behind me, and I turned to see Ike rolling on his bed as he stretched his arms

He rolled right onto the floor with a rather loud crash.

I hollered as Ike stood up, orange prison uniform seemingly standing out like a beacon in what little light there is.

"I'm fine, I'm fine!" said Ike. "That's the second time it's happened, and the doctors say I get better later anyway."

I exhaled. Oh man, I'm glad he's fine. I don't know what I would do then.

"So, any idea on when these guys get to us?" I asked as he stood up.

"Yeah," said Ike. "The doors open soon. And then we go off to eat."

"Right," I said.

What the fuck?

Okay, I'm not thrilled about being treated like a cow. I mean, fine, I'm an idiot, but please, everybody else too? This isn't Lon Lon Ranch, you know. This is a prison. And prisoners don't deserve to be herded around by random guards who just stand there being fat while we are forced to sit inside a cramped space.

Oh, man I hope that it doesn't get worse. I really hope it doesn't get worse.

Right on cue, the door in front of us opened. A security guard motioned us to come out.

"So, you ready to meet your companions for the rest of your time here?" Ike asked me.

I nodded. I really couldn't refuse, anyway; my stomach was feeling the urge to growl.

"Then follow the guard," he told me. "I'll be right here."

I nodded and followed the guard in front of me as he walked through the corridors (which, to my great chagrin, were as dimly lit as the cell was when I woke up). Cell after cell brushed past us as more people were let out and led in the same direction I was headed.

Like cattle.

Hmph. I figured it would be everybody.

We were all guided to a rather vast hallway with a bunch of long rectangular tables that ran down the length of the hall. There was a small counter, and from there we were supposed to sit somewhere in the rows of people.

It was also very bleak; unlike the stuff back at the mansion, the walls here were white with no decorations, barred windows being very high up and very small. Thank the lord for fluorescent lighting is all I'll say on how bright the place was; if it wasn't for the rows of fluorescent bulbs that hung from the ceiling, we'd be bumping into people left and right.

"Oh, man, this place is huge," I said.

"Isn't it?" asked Ike behind me.

We were filed into a line, and as I got closer to the counter I was filled with anxiety as to what prison food would look like.

When I got there, I was surprised to learn that all of the luxurious food that was at the mansion was nonexistent here; instead, there were a bunch of metal plates full of stuff that looked disgusting; there was orange paste that some people got the idea was ground-up carrots off to one side of the counter, and to another there was some rather odd gray stuffs that seemed to try to look like mushrooms but failed miserably. I just ordered whatever looked the best (which happened to be a white soupy thing with a few chunks of vegetable sticking out along with a pair of celery sticks that actually looked fresh) and waited for Ike. I followed him after he got his stuff (he got the same things I did), and we sat at the end of one table. (To be specific, I sat at the end of the table so that nobody could sit to my left and face the same direction I was facing. Ike sat to my right.)

Next to us sat a bunch of prison mates; one that sat to Ike's left seemed particularly destroyed by something. His face looked really tough, and his amber hair seemed burned by the lack of lighting. Down the row were a bunch of other inmates in more orange uniforms. I was unable to tell who they were, though. I also never cared much for the people on the other side of the table, so I won't describe them.

"So, let's eat, eh?" I asked.

Ike said nothing, but instead picked up the spoon and started going through the soup.

I shrugged and picked up my own spoon, sifting it through the white liquid before I took a small spoonful of it and lifted it up to my mouth.

I almost gagged at the taste. Oh, man, I've never had worse soup in my life. I mean, if you're going to feed prisoners, at least make real fucking food!

I managed to swallow the first spoonful, though. I had put the spoon in the soup again, and I was lifting the spoon to my mouth when I noticed something squirming in the liquid.

Surprised, I lowered it so I could see it, noticing a pair of bleached stripes writhing inside of the liquid.

Holy shit. Holy fucking shit.

I am _not_ watching a worm squirm in my breakfast.

I was so scared that I almost yelled and threw my spoon somewhere.

Instead, I managed to gingerly pick the worm out of my spoon and threw that onto the ground in between me and the person sitting behind me.

Ike and the man sitting to his right turned to face me, and saw me throwing the worm down at the ground.

"Hm," said the man sitting next to Ike. "A worm in your soup?"

This took me by surprise, so I straightened out in surprise as I looked at him.

"Eh, I think so…" I told him.

"My advice; don't get any of the soups these guys make," he told me. "Worms always wind up in them one way or the other."

"Me too?" asked Ike.

"Sure," said the guy.

"Um, Snake, why are you telling this to them?" asked somebody sitting to the right of the stranger that I had just met. "You know that these guards crack down on when people don't eat their things, and they will beat them to death."

"Dude, relax," responded the stranger, turning to face the man on his right. "Three people doing it isn't going to make us get beat up. I've been doing it for three years and they haven't come to beat me yet."

"A year?" I asked. "Jeez, man, what did you do?"

"I don't like to go into the details, but let's just say I was caught in something that it was not the police's business to cover," the stranger told me, turning to face me and Ike again. "The name's Snake."

"Link," I told him.

He's been in jail for three years? Oh, man he must have did something.

He seems like he's a nice guy, though. I'll trust him, then.

"So, you just got here?" asked Snake.

"He just got here last night, actually," said Ike.

"Good, good," said Snake. "Ike, correct?"

"Yep," responded Ike.

Definitely a nice guy.

Oh well. I guess guys like him do stupid stuff as well. And they probably intended it too.

Too bad I'm going to be executed sometime.

"Yeah," said Snake. "So, what did you do?"

I said nothing, but Ike elbowed me in the abdomen and I realized that Snake was talking to me.

"Oh," I said. "I…"

"Oh, don't worry about it," he said. "I never told you, so why should you tell me?"

"True, true," I said. "Still, I did some pretty stupid shit."

"We all do," said Snake. "Man, you should see my cellmate; he's a kid that should be in college right now. Instead, he got arrested for a DUI after graduation."

"Hmph," responded Ike. "I can't believe we all do stuff."

"Well, we do," said Snake.

"Yeah," said Link.

Ike nervously brushed back some of the cobalt hair that had gotten in his face as he had eaten, looking at Snake as we continued eating.

"So, what do we do next?" I asked.

"We go off to the gym a little," said Snake. "Some of us die anyway, so why do they bother?"

"Eh," I said.

Oh, damn it. I hate it when I think of what I did for no reason at all. I mean, it just happened. I don't know how or why, but I thought about it again.

"So you set for death row?" asked Snake.

"Yes."

Well, that was really fucking quick. If I kept talking _that_ quickly, my mouth would have taken a road trip by now…

Wait, it's always been on a road trip, hasn't it? This is where the faking took me. This is where I took myself. All because I needed the fucking attention.

Oh, god damn it! Why did the Kokiri neglect me? It wouldn't have lead to this!

"Ouch," said Ike.

"No, I don't know when the date is," I responded. "I really need to start over, and I want to live!"

"Relax," said Snake. "I know somebody who felt horrible after killing somebody and getting sentenced to death row, and he got out fine. Today, he's an honest man who works at a major media company, and he has a wife who's pregnant right now."

"Really?" asked Link.

"He was a former cellmate of a former cellmate of mine," replied Snake. "I became his cellmate after the guy I'm talking about left. He was set for being there two years before being executed, and he stayed there for maybe two days before his mom paid parole for him and he got out scot free. I met the guy when he visited my cellmate, too. Nice guy and everything."

"Wait," I said. "So all I have to do is get somebody to pay the costs of getting me out of this joint?"

"Yep," said Snake. "It's all in good hands afterwards."

Out of discretion I nodded.

But sweet Jesus! I'm free!

Zelda can get me out of here! And then I can start again! Maybe I'll go off and start another ranch somewhere in the fields, maybe take a beautiful wife as well. Maybe I'll go off and do things I never thought I could do!

Maybe I could just be what I would have been if the Kokiri had not neglected me!

Oh, Fayrore! How I want to go to your altar and kiss the feet of your figure! I've been given courage again! I've been given the blessing of your segment of the Triforce!

How I long to sing your sweet praises! How I wish to do you right when I finally get out of this wretched compound! The vibes of liberty are here! They're here!

I kept my excitement down though, so I continued eating. I gagged on a worm later, but I was too happy to put up much of a wall of complaints about it. Hell, I zoned out of the conversation at hand in my joy. I hardly even noticed that we went over to the gym later.

I'm free! I'm free at last!


	3. Chapter 2

Hello, children.

I got my wisdom teeth removed nine hours ago, and I'm not feeling that bad. I have a nagging pain in my teeth somewhere, and I'm wearing pajama pants and my happi coat that I bought in Japan for a reason that I can't figure out, but otherwise I'm fine.

Oh, and _Carmina Burana_ is coming along nicely. The problem now is that we're doing nothing but _Carmina_ until November 29th, which is the date of the concert. We do need it, though, since we are having problems on it. I feel pretty confident about it, though; it's very close to the beginning of November, but by now we've resolved most of the issues that I've been worried about (we have the school pianists we're going to use participating in the rehearsals, my school has 2 glockenspiels, I'm providing a third for the sitzprobe and the actual performance, one trumpet player and two bass players have defected to the percussion section, the bassoonist has that hard solo at the beginning of one of the numbers down pat, and our wind chairs are really starting to improve).

I'm also doing the first musical of the year first; expect me to play the 1st violin book of _Pippin_, which has opening night the night after _Carmina Burana_.

And that's all on my side. Here's the chapter, and enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 2

**Link seems to be rather happy about life right now. And I don't think it's because he's getting used to this.**

**Actually, I know that's not what it is. He said himself that he can get his girlfriend to get him out of here. He keeps on going on and on about how he's going to get himself a nice tract of land somewhere, marry the girl that always chased after him before Zelda, and have an honest, loving family to care as he lived the rest of his post-awakening life.**

**I am not sure where it comes from, actually. I mean, Snake really did a good job of getting his hopes up.**

**But in his case, I don't know if his girlfriend will help him out of there. I mean, he did cheat on her, and he did treat her rather badly before the trial. I think the odds are against him, but one can certainly create false hope for himself, can't he?**

**Oh well.**

**At least he's not being a whiny person about how bad we're treated here. I mean, I don't think he's discovered what's inside of my mattress yet (And trust me, I'm not about to tell him what's in there; he sure won't like it.) and I personally think that he has no idea about a lot of problems in the gym, but at least he's stopped whining about the worms showing up in his food every day.**

**I can only help but wonder what will happen when I leave, though. I mean, his sentence is bound to be longer than mine; I mean, he did commit murder, so he will be stuck here.**

**I hear he's supposed to find out tomorrow how long he stays in jail. His girlfriend is actually coming in today to visit, and Link just got escorted over there. I hope everything goes well, because when Link is told how long he will stay here before he is killed, that's it.**

**Damn, the Smash Island political system is messed up, and it took a job at the pawn shop industry to realize it.**

**Oh well. It could be a lot worse right now. And I mean a LOT worse.**

Okay, so I'm being led somewhere so I can talk to Zelda.

Oh, man I'm nervous. There are way too many 'what-ifs' here. Way too many.

Fuck, she might even think I'm a dumbass for thinking that she can get me out. But in that case, I can tell her that I was told so.

While I'm at it, I think I might tell Zelda that I've been an attention whore all my life. I guess it had something to do with a lot of things, including my attempt to kill that man.

Oh well. No time for that.

I just got ushered in.

The door closed behind me with a bang, and my eyes scanned the whiteness of the room. A lot of people I know would be jealous to be in a white room trying to get out of that terrible prison facility.

And my eyes fell on Zelda sometime after that. Aside from the fact that parts of her face are obscured from view by some bars, I can see what she looks like.

Man, she looks like she's been in mourning. She has a lot of make-up all over her face, and some of it seemed marred. (It might have been the lighting, though. God damn it, that room brighter than anything I've stepped into in my entire life. Combined.) She also had slightly downcast eyes, and she looked rather depressed. (Oh, Jesus, I hate seeing those beautiful eyes of hers being sad. Those sapphires of eyes are prettier when they shine out of happiness anyway.)

"Zelda…" I finally brought myself to say.

"Link," said the princess. "Why did you try to kill him?"

"I'm sorry, Zelda," I responded, sitting in the chair and splaying my hands on the table. "I thought he was getting more popular than me. I… I don't know…"

Oh, damn it. It's going to be hard to tell her this.

Oh well. It's kind of like asking 'how do you catch a cloud and pin it down?' to a little person by the brook.

"It seems like everything I've ever done in my life… It seems like it was for attention…"

There. I've said it. I've made my secret clear.

Man, I got stressed over saying that one thing.

"Is that why?" asked the princess. "Because you are an attention whore?"

"I guess," I responded. Attention whore is a little harsh, though. Why that?

Oh well. I guess everybody has to take after the internet every so often.

"Listen, Zelda. I want a chance to change," I continued.

"Link, you know that the parole is high," said Zelda. "I could not—"

"Please," I said. "I… I need a chance to start my life again. Please. Pay the parole and give me another—"

"No," said Zelda. "If you are trying to be free, it will not work."

God damn it, why is she being so persistent? I know what I've done wrong, and I don't need her being a bitch by not letting me out of here! Just shut up and hand over the money already!

Wait! I'm getting pissed.

Simmer down, Link. Simmer down and make an honest comeback.

"I am not trying to be free," I said, the words surprisingly coming out as naturally as they should have. "I just want the satisfaction of living a good life for once in my life!"

"I can't," said Zelda. "Anyways, I wanted to tell you that—"

"We don't have to have anything to do with each other if you do," I said.

Wait, did I just interrupt her?

Aw, crap.

Oh well. One little interruption won't be that bad for me. Besides, she did interrupt me herself a few seconds ago.

"Just, please," I continued. "Get me out of this place! I can't start over in here!"

"Link, the answer will be no," said Zelda. "You know that."

"Zelda, please," I begged. "I just want a chance to change!"

"Knowing you, you won't," said Zelda. "You resisted Ganondorf's change, so I have reason to believe that you won't change either."

Wait, what?

Did she just say 'Ganondorf's change'?

So does that mean that my treatment of him made me so blind to the truth that I refused to believe he was changing?

Huh. I guess it wasn't the crack after all.

I think I should make sure first, though.

"Ganondorf's change?" I asked.

"Marth told me about it," responded Zelda. "He tells me that before you had to screw your life up and murder three people so you could get to the one who isn't even dead yet, Ganondorf's people were branding him as a selfish man. He wanted to change, and you led a regiment of resistance against this. Marth was the only one who went to him with understanding for this. When this happened, I noticed Ganondorf grow more sociable and generally more like one with his environment. By the time the summer festival came around, the scales of good and evil between you and Ganondorf had switched so that you were evil and Ganondorf… was good…"

My head nodded involuntarily.

Yep. Now I really need to change, for Ganondorf's sake as much as my own. I'm pretty sure he would like to see me get out of the hatred I've had for him. Maybe I could even visit him after the tournament ends…

"I see," I said. "I guess I will have to give him another chance then. But please, let me out!"

"I talk about something profound and yet all you can say is 'get me out of here'?" asked Zelda angrily.

Uh-oh. She's pissed.

But I didn't do anything! I can't start over in here! I need to, and yet you're not letting me!

"Please, Zelda," I told her. "Ganondorf changed; I can too."

"You don't know anything about change!" said Zelda.

But I do! Why do you think I asked you to get me out of here in the first place?

"Zelda, it is because I love you that—"

And then, Zelda stood up. Her eyes had gone from a look of mourning to a look of sheer anger.

I think the fact that the chair toppled over as she stood helped drive the point home.

She's pissed. And she's not taking any prisoners.

Okay, Link. Let's try diffusing the situation a little, shall we?

"Love?" asked Zelda. "What do you know of love? You slept with Samus so you could get away with killing Ganondorf!"

"Zelda, I was high when I—"

"Don't you dare give me any of that, you son of a bitch!" shouted Zelda, finger pointed dangerously at me.

Oh, fuck. Now she's really pissed.

"You will never change!" she yelled "I know it! You will always be the greedy, self-centered bastard that you have been since the day I saw you! You will never change!"

Before I was able to reply, Zelda removed the glove on her right hand, exposing a ring on one of the fingers.

Wait. That's the ring I gave her as a birthday present before I wound up here.

I really know I should interject, but I'm so paralyzed with fear and curiosity that I'm petrified where I sit. Why the hell can't I move?

"I gave you my love!" shouted Zelda. "I gave you my time! I gave you my possessions for your use! I gave you myself! I gave you everything! And what do you do with that? You throw it away just so you can kill something for a reason as worthless as the one you gave me!"

After she finished this sentence, she forcefully grabbed the ring from her finger and wrenched it off.

Oh, fuck. Please don't do what I think you're going to do…

"No!" shouted Zelda. "You don't deserve a chance to start your life again! You'll just mess it up like you did to this life! You will remain in here, where you and your inflated ego will rot until they kill you!"

With this, Zelda threw the ring in her hands at me, the ring barely missing my ear and clanging against the wall behind me before coming to a stop by one of the table legs on Link's side of the table.

It all happened so fast that I had no time to stand up to yell at her to shut the fuck up and regain her senses before she continued on with her hateful tirade.

"That's love to you!" shouted Zelda. "You think it's something that can be thrown away! I will also bet that it is what you think of life! No! You don't deserve to be given a chance!"

At this, a tall, thin security guard in the usual police form walked into the other side of the room.

Oh, shit.

This is not good. This is not good at all.

"Ma-am?" asked the officer.

"What?" asked Zelda, turning wildly at him.

"Some of the other visitors are requesting that you be escorted out of here for disorderly conduct," said the guard.

Oh no. Oh fuck no. Please say you're going to calm down. Please tell him you're going to calm down!

"Escort me, then," said Zelda. "I have nothing else to tell this man who used to be my love."

What? She's done here?

This isn't real! This isn't fucking real! Zelda has got to be fucking kidding me!

It can't be real!

But it was, for the security officer nodded, and Zelda walked out of the room, stepping over the chair as she walked.

I instinctively found myself stretching for the other side of the room, the tips of my fingers going through the bars as I yelled her name out.

Come back, god damn it! Come back!

But she kept on going. And in the course of a few seconds (that for some reason felt like a thousand years to me), she had left the room.

Oh, no. I'm fucked. I'm never going to get a chance to change!

No!

I felt myself falling to the floor and staying there, my body having a momentary magnetic attraction to the floor as the tears created waterfalls on the sides of my face. No! I can't believe this! She rejected me!

I cried noisily for a few seconds, the hopes I had built up suddenly coming down upon me.

Why? I had the capacity to change! I wanted to change! I had all of the right conditions!

So why did they all crumble in the end?

After what felt like an eternity, I felt myself being hoisted up by a security guard. Afterwards, I was led out, noisily lamenting my lost chance at life.

* * *

_I haven't seen Link all day._

_I mean, okay, Ike told me that his bitch was stopping by for a chance to get Link out of here, but really, does he have to be gone this long?_

_I don't know what's gotten into the young guys these days. They all seem to be good for plenty of reasons, but they are either taken or they're straight._

_And when they're straight, they're usually straight enough to allow their girlfriends to do whatever the hell they want with them._

_Fuck, the girlfriends do all of the grocery shopping for the motherfucker._

_As __Egavas__Nad__ always says, dump the motherfucker __and be proud of it_

_And I'm pretty sure that that's what she's here to do._

_Which is why I like __her and a lot of other guys__; guys don't really dump. They prefer to fuck with other guys and say screw you before you have a chance in hell to go figure it out. It's technically the same thing as dumping, but at least they're not being all whiny about it__ afterwards__. They're being proud of it._

_Which is fine by me, since I would go down fighting rather than have to deal with defenseless bitches who just say 'it's over' without giving a very good reason as to why._

_Damn pussies._

_And here I am, standing in the dark corners of the gym. I should be back in the cell, but I'm special around here. For some reason, everybody likes me around here enough to not care about where I am at a special moment._

_And man, do I love doing bench presses. The weights suck__ and the bar is really damn close to bending and crushing some poor dumbass' face in__, but at least I have something to vent my anger on._

_And at this moment, I really need the anger relief. I'm really pissed off._

_Those goddamn guards need a fucking life._

_Not just a life. __A _fucking_ life._

_I heard the door creak open, and I heard somebody sobbing a little._

_Confused, I stopped what I was doing and put everything back in order, and when I was standing and tacking the weights off of the bar, the figure turned to face me._

_Oh hell._

_What the fuck would Link be doing in here?_

_"Link?"__ I asked._

_The guy just kept on sobbing._

_Okay. Something really fucked up just happened._

_I think I better go see what's up._

_So I walked over there until I stood right next to the guy, his sobs really getting on my nerves.__Wimp._

_When I was right next to the guy, he finally turned to face me, sapphires bright with tears._

_"What happened?" I asked._

_Link simply collapsed on my shoulder, long blonde hair going over my shoulders._

_"She rejected me…" said Link. "Snake, what else am I supposed to do?"_

_Aw, damn it._

_So the bitch kept the poor guy in here._

_Slut.__ She would have been better off keeping him outside of this place._

_Because he would not have had to deal with me or the guards if he had been released._

_Eh. Damn the teachings of __Egavas__Nad__. Most of the time he's awesome, but in cases like this he can be a son of a bitch._

_Oh well._

* * *

I can't believe this.

I'm gonna die. I know the what, the where, and the how.

Now, I have to think about the when.

And that's why I'm back in the courtroom. Only one reporter is here today, and he's from the best newspaper here.

And here I am, about to have my sentence read as the judge holds the paper up.

It's empty here; why the fuck did these bitches have to use the courtroom? It's a waste of time, energy, and a shitload of other things to be taken over to the courthouse when it could easily be done in the visitor's rooms.

The silence is unbearable, and it's lasting way too long.

God damn it! Read my sentence already!

Finally, he opens his mouth to speak.

"Link, you are to be executed by the electric chair on the date of December 23, 2009, at the time of 11:30 A.M. You have violated a critical law, and unfortunately fire must be met with fire. May whatever gods you believe in have mercy on your soul, for only they can save you from damnation."

And today is July 23rd. Which means that my execution is six months from now.

So be it.

The reporter went up to me, and I told him I would answer exactly one question of his. He scribbled down something and then he asked me if I was feeling any form of regret for what I did.

I asked him to ask a different question, and when he asked if I was scared of death, I told him that I don't care anymore.


	4. Chapter 3

Hello, children!

_Carmina Burana_ is coming along very nicely now. We actually read it with the choir, and the orchestra seems to have it down pat. The guys in the chorus really need to man up, though. There's not enough of them, but it gives them no excuses to not be heard. The sitzprobe is on Thursday, so wish us luck with the readthrough.

You know the rest. Here's the chapter, and now I'm off to play some FE:RD!

(H.W. runs to his Wii.)

* * *

Chapter 3

**Link's been pretty depressed as of late.**

**Man, he's one of the unluckiest guys I've ever met in my life.**

**Snake told me what happened to him. He says that Link got dumped by his girlfriend when she visited. I can't blame her, really; I'd get pissed off about an affair as well.**

**Oh well. Life goes on, and Link seems to be caught up in what happened.**

**At least he's not being completely ****emo**** the way he was when he first returned to the cells. He almost dented the bars of the cell, and it actually took the intervention of at least six others on the cell block and two security guards to get him to calm down. He's fine now, but back there he was not fine.**

**I mulled about this over my breakfast this morning, actually. Now he has to deal with the worms in his breakfast every day, and a whole lot of other things as well.**

**I still haven't told Link about the other things here. I've only been here for a few days, and yet I've seen everything this place has that's wrong with it.**

**And the worst part is**** I can't bring myself to tell the poor guy what goes on within these walls. I just can't. It's too emotionally stressing for me to tell.**

**And besides, what good would it do if I told? He'd get even worse than he is now, and then we'd be in really bad hands here.**

**That is something I want to avoid.**

**I think it's better if he finds out on his own what's wrong with this place.**

**Seriously.**** Some people just don't deserve to know what goes on around here…

* * *

**

God damn it, those sons of bitches back in school were right about this place.

If only the others that were drinking at graduation would have stopped. God damn it, I should be getting my motherfucking digital arts degree!

Eh. Life sucks.

And now I'm stuck in this messed-up joint.

God damn bitches, ruining my life with alcohol.

Oh well. I guess I have to live with it right now. Even though it's hard, I'll have to live with it.

I mulled this over as I sat at a table for what seemed to be the umpteenth time in the months that I had been there. My lunch was getting cold.

Might as well eat.

As I started eating, a young guy in what looked to be his twenties sat next to me with depression set in on his face. I paid virtually no attention to him until out of the corner of my eye I saw tears coming down his face.

What the hell is he so depressed about? It's a fucking prison; nobody gets depressed in prison and shows it. We all get depressed at failed chances at life, but to show it? You've gotta be kidding me.

For a while, though I didn't say much. He didn't say anything as well, so I figured he must have been trying to sort out his depression.

After a while of eating, though, I noticed something squirming in my quills.

I scratched my quills, letting out a yelp after feeling something squish between my fingers and bringing them to my face to find blue fur mingling with soupy stuff and worm blood.

My gaze darted to the guy next to me pretty damn quickly, and man was I pissed off. Nobody puts a soup-based worm in my quills. Ever.

"Dude," I said. "What the hell was that for?"

The guy next to me had already been looking at me when I looked at him angrily. I don't think he meant to do it, but for the hell of it I think I need to have some fun with him.

"Oh, I'm sorry sir!" said the other person. "I didn't mean to—!"

"Didn't mean to what?" I asked. "Mess around with a worm? Listen here, sir; nobody gets away with putting a worm in my quills. Got it?"

"But sir, I can assure you that I didn't mean it," said the other man. "I flung it carelessly."

"I don't care if you flung it carelessly," I told him, edging up vehemently against him and pointing my finger in his face. "Those things never get into my quills. Got it?"

By now, a small crowd of inmates has gathered, trying to figure out what's going on. I think I'll have a little more fun with all of these guys around, even though Mr. Nice Guy is trying to do things peacefully.

"Sir, I threw it by accident," said the other guy.

"Doesn't matter, nice guy," I told him. "Better not do it, okay?"

He was seen exhaling a little bit. I could so imagine him saying 'okay, let's settle down a bit here'.

It's a good choice, actually, because if he tried to fight me he would end up in the under-there.

That is the one place I don't want anybody to end up. The under-there is a special portion of the federal prison reserved for either the worst-behaved inmates or the criminals with the baddest reputations; believe me, I don't want anybody in there. I've heard all sorts of horror stories about that place, and trust me, from what I hear about it nobody should be sent there.

But one more word from me could send him down there with the flick of a wrist, so I think I really should stop.

"Fine," said the other man. "I'll stop. But rest assured if you do that again, I will kick your ass."

I just sat there and nodded, waiting for somebody to inform him about the under-there in my place.

* * *

**I saw Link sitting under the bed when we were stuck in our cells during the early morning hours waiting for the work people to clean up around these parts. They always take forever for some reason that I can't determine.**

**He looked pretty depressed, actually; he looked as if he had yelled at somebody and had no nerve to tell me what had happened.**

**It's probably a combination; his girlfriend's dumping her shouldn't send him into such a rabid depression. After all, it couldn't have been that bad. ****Right?**

**I stopped my pacing around the room (I tend to pace when I'm bored) and leaned back against the walls of the cell as my eyes connected with Link's eyes.**

**"Hey," I said. "Did something happen?"**

**"I ran into the most annoying son of a bitch in this place," responded Link. "And I almost got pissed off at him, too."**

**"Really?"**** I asked. "What happened?"**

**"I found another worm in my soup yesterday," said Link. "And somehow, it wound up in his hair. Why it happened, I'll never know. But then he played games with my motherfucking mind about it."**

**"So he was annoying, then," I responded. "How far did it go?"**

**"I almost kicked his ass," said Link. "I had to exhale a bit, so no punches were delivered. Don't worry."**

**"Well, it could be worse," I told him. "But you've heard of the 'under-there', right?"**

**"Under-there?" asked Link. "What's that?"**

**"It's this really dark place under these cells," I said. "I don't know. I keep hearing talk amongst other people I know around here that the conditions down there are horrible." (Unspeakable would have ****actually been a better way to say it, but oh well.) "Anyways, that's where they supposedly send all of their law-breaking convicts. Trust me on this; they send brawlers down there too."**

**"Really?" asked Link. "I'm glad I didn't get into a fight now!"**

**"I know what you mean,"**** I said****. "Just ignore the guy. Hopefully he'll go away."**

**"But he was being unreasonable," said ****Link, finally shifting from a laying position into a sitting position. "I tried to apologize for dropping the worm in his hair, but he didn't accept it. ****At all."**

**"And who was this guy?" I asked.**

**"I don't know," said Link, standing up and stretching his arms a little. "He didn't give me his name."**

**"Well, when you see him be sure that he's not being unreasonable on you," I told him. "Got it?"**

**"Yep," said Link. "Thanks, Ike."**

**"You're welcome," I replied.**

**And then, the morning bell rang, and anybody that was not up yet was rising from their deep sleep.

* * *

**

Okay, something seriously needs to be done about the walls of this gym.

One of these days, the structure is going to collapse on us. I don't know why, but the walls just look way too rusted for their own good.

And that is definitely not good. Let's just hope the structure remains standing.

The quiet murmur of people conversing with each other filled up the space of the gym as I curled a little. Man, it feels so good to actually do something around here. Most of the time, I just sit and wait for random shit to happen.

At least I haven't been found by that hedgehog I ran into yesterday. Seriously, that guy has some issues. I wonder what his problem is. I mean, Snake told me that his cellmate was annoying, but I had no idea he was _that_ annoying. And I used to be unreasonable myself, so I know unreasonable people when I see them now.

"Hey, it's the worm guy! Hey, you! Come on!"

Speak of the devil. But is it the same guy?

I turned around mid-curl to find that goddesses-forsaken blue fur lying on top of the form of a hedgehog.

Yep. Speak of the motherfucking devil indeed.

"Worm guy?" I asked, finishing the curl that I was doing when he interrupted me. "Dude, it was an accident, okay? Let it go."

"Oh, I believe I can't do that," said the hedgehog, wagging his finger and stepping onto a nearby bench. "You mess with me a little, I get to mess with you a little."

"Oh, I don't think so," I told him, setting the dumbbell I was holding back on the rack. "Look, it was an accident. You don't mess with people after an accident."

"According to some rules, you can, actually," he told me.

Okay, what the hell is in his mind? Who the hell does he think he is, anyway? I mean, I wouldn't go messing with people's minds over a motherfucking accident. Ganondorf, I hated because he did stuff, and I know for sure that he was not committing an accident. But what I did to this hedgehog was an accident and he goes all 'let's beat the shit out of this guy' on me.

Seriously. The world is really fucked up right now.

"Who's rules?" I asked. "The rules of the bitch who lives in your apartment now?"

Some of the surrounding prisoners had tuned into our conversation, and until they had begun laughing quietly at my comment I hadn't noticed.

The hedgehog, meanwhile, looked at me with a confused expression on his face.

I think I just told him off.

Oh snap, fool.

"What?" he asked. "You can't just make fun of me like that!"

"Hey, it's what you get for screwing with people's minds over an accident," I told him, beaming triumphantly as I said it.

"Oh, and I don't like worms getting thrown into my head by depressed guys?" asked the hedgehog.

Depressed guys? What the hell?

"What do you mean depressed?" I asked.

"Yeah," said the hedgehog. "You're really depressed."

"You continued it, so there," I told him.

"Hey!" he exclaimed. "What was that for? I haven't continued your depression! Why do you pin the tail on me? After all, you're the one with the water being forced up his ass."

At that moment in time, one of those dramatic silences took hold. It had been gradually decaying, but now it stopped altogether.

And then, everybody else lauged.

God damn it! That son of a motherfucking bitch is retarded! I can't let him get away with this!

Wait! Settle down, Link. If what Ike said was true, you don't want to end up in the under-there. Let's settle down here.

"What's your name?" I asked, a hint of vehemence showing in my voice.

"Sonic," responded the hedgehog. "Sonic the Hedgehog!"

"Sonic…" I muttered.

I walked forward a little bit, turning around to get a last look at the blue hedgehog.

"I'll remember that when I'm sitting in the electric chair six months from now," I said.

I turned around and left a bewildered Sonic to ponder on the implications of my statement, and I continued walking to the other end of the gym.


	5. Chapter 4

Hello, children.

I might not have much time to post next weekend, so I sort of rushed this to get it in on time.

_Carmina Burana_ goes on Thursday, and _Pippin_ is on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, so wish me luck people!

You know the rest. Here's the next chapter, and I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 4

_Link told me he met Sonic two days ago, and to a first impression that Sonic is an annoying dipshit on top of that._

_Well, it's not like __Sonic__ normally talks to me anyway. I tend to watch him act like an idiot anyways, so I know what Link's talking about. Hell, when you see a guy telling just about everybody he knows off with some crappy insults that other inmates somehow find funny, it makes me wonder why the world is so fucking retarded these days._

_And yet, he's always really quiet around me. We never say one god damn word to each other when we'__re in the cell together, ever. He's just really fucking quiet around me._

_I will admit though; he has some really fucking hot spikes on his head. Hot, as in looks-hot of course._

_But other than that, he's really quiet. And shit._

_Eh. Hopefully, Sonic won'__t do much to Link at all._

_He better not, at any rate._

_Eh. I should probably get my god damn sleep now. Motherfucking jailers enforcing sleep codes._

* * *

I woke up from my rather deep sleep when I felt something fall onto my arm. 

I opened my eyes rather slowly, the sensation of something crawling on the skin of my arm bringing itself to my attention. I wondered what could be crawling on me as I opened my eyes.

I then sat up, and looked down at my arm to find a cockroach working its way up my arm.

I yelled. I fucking yelled as I brushed the damn roach off of my arm with such a brutal stroke that it almost slammed into the floor. I then quickly stomped on the roach, ending its rather short life in an instant.

Holy shit, I had a roach on my arm. Holy fucking shit, that was scary.

But where the hell did it come from?

This whizzed through my mind rather quickly, and I stepped back away from my bed, the distance between me and the bed whizzing by rather quickly.

It was a good thing, too, for when Ike turned to wake up, he rolled off the bed again with a loud crash.

I think my fellow prisoners were less than impressed with the shenanigans going on in my cell, and I started hearing people groaning from the other side of the hall, angry that their sleep schedules had been disrupted.

The fact that Ike rolled off of the bed and onto the floor woke him up immediately, and as he stood he looked at me asking what the hell I had made such a commotion about I almost shivered where I stood.

"What the hell happened?" asked Ike groggily.

"A god damn roach fell on my arm!" I told him.

"A roach?" asked Ike.

"Yes, a roach," I repeated. "Where the hell did it come from?"

"Why do you think I gave you the bottom bunk?" he asked me. "The roaches all come from a hole up above my bed. They always land on me, and do you think I say anything?"

Ike hadn't noticed it in his rant, but my eyes had just bulged.

So it was more than the fact that the bed was too high? Holy shit, I feel bad for him.

I should have taken that top bunk, god damn it! Not you! You're too young to deserve this shit, man! Why do you have to get the roaches on you?

But I just remained silent. My mouth refused to open. No matter how much willpower I put into opening it, it remained shut.

"I thought so," said Ike, apparently taking my silence as agreement.

Damn the darkness! Damn it to hell!

With his point made, my cellmate climbed back onto the bed, to sleep under the hole that the roaches went through.

I was still unable to say anything that might have gotten him off of the top bunk.

And there was so much I could do. I could inform the guards that the hole was there, and they would get a team. I could cover it with something – I don't know what, but something – that would keep the roaches back. I could do something to make a difference.

But why is he treating it so indifferently?

I eventually sat down on the ground and looked outside of the bars. I had lost my will to sleep in that bed until something had been done about that hole in the ceiling.

And until it was fixed, I vowed never to sleep in that cell again.

* * *

_Link sat next to me during lunch later that day, and he seemed rather glum._

_I knew now that it wasn't about his former bitch; he had stated that he had gotten over it yesterday to most of us, so I'll take his word for it. __But why the new depression?_

_I messed around with the fucked-up attempt at a sandwich that these guys constantly pour out to us, and then looked at Link wondering what the problem was._

_He was eating in full silence, and it was annoying everybody at the table. Normally, we have good conversations, but I feel that something's out of place._

_Fuck it. I'm going to fucking prod into his life for the sake of the rest of us. __Sheesh_

_"What's up?" I asked him._

_"A roach fell on my arm today," said Link. "And then I found out that Ike has to deal with almost all of the roaches in my cell since they all come from a hole above the top bunk."_

_"Ouch," I responded. "But why are you feeling bad?"_

_"Because he told me he had to take that shit and that he's not saying anything," said Link. "And frankly, I'm going to stop it from happening. I tried to inform the guards about it, but they seemed like they wanted me to shut the hell up."_

_Poor son of a bitch.__ Doesn't know anything about how these assholes that run this shithole think._

_"Dude, you know why Ike isn't talking, right?" I asked him._

_"Because he can be a bit of a defeatist sometimes?" asked Link._

_"No," I told him. "It's because these sons of bitches that run this joint ignore the god damn issues."_

_Link's eyes widened as he heard this._

_"Are you serious?" asked Link._

_"Trust me on that one, man," I told him. "There's a spring that juts out from Sonic's bed, and it's been giving him hell for the longest time. And when I went to the security guard when he told me about it, he told me he would tell upper management. But they never fixed the god damn bed. __At all.__ They just let the spring continue jutting out from the mattress itself."_

_"Oh my…" said Link. "__No wonder he told me that he didn't complain…"_

_I nodded, glad that my point had gotten home.

* * *

_

When I ran into elf boy just now, I was kind of surprised that he was still depressed.

Man, that guy needs to get over the kind of shit that his girlfriend put him through. I mean, I got the same thing done to me by Ames after I had been given the DUI, but seriously, at least I didn't take it like this.

That, or he really needs to get some motherfucking sleep. His eyes had a slight purple hue around them today, and I don't think he slept. I don't know what the hell is wrong with him at all.

And then, I think I unintentionally gave him (both of us, actually) a rude awakening in the mess hall today, for when I messed with him a little he started chasing me around. (It seemed playful, but I think I legitimately pissed him off and he was taking it as a joke so that the bitches that guard this joint wouldn't send him to the under-there.) So then, to evade him, I ran into the kitchen and shit.

And then, we both noticed rats crawling all over the kitchen. And then we both screamed like little girls, and then we both ran out and made the most enormous deal over it, and then some other bitches yelled at us to shut the fuck up and stop yelling.

And yes, I did try telling them that there were rats in the kitchen. To no avail, of course.

I mean, what the fuck are rats in the kitchen for? Don't they spread diseases and shit like that?

And if they spread diseases, doesn't that mean that our food is contaminated.

Fuck, I'm just thankful that rats can't spread HIV or AIDS or that other fucked-up shit. But I also know that for all I care, I could be suffering from cholera right now.

And that is one of the fucking scariest things we can deal with right now.

I'm certainly losing sleep today, and I don't think it's going to help elf boy out at all, either. I mean, now that we both know that the rest of us could be carrying diseases, well, that is a very scary thought. And when I get a scary thought, I normally don't sleep for weeks on end if it's so close to home.

Hell, danger being so close to home is one of the fucking scariest things ever.

Fuck alcohol! Fuck alcohol and the people that put me in this fucked-up joint! Fuck it all! Fuck it all to hell! I hope they both die! I hope they both cease to exist!

Fuck the world that put us here!


	6. Chapter 5

Hello, children.

Sorry for leaving you hanging for so long! I've been really busy lately, so there you have it.

_Carmina Burana_ went really well! It was a lot better than I thought it would be. Next up is Cosí fan Tutte, so you know the rest.

And you know the rest. I'm happy with life, so there we are.

Off to play NiGHTS: Journey of Dreams and Super Mario Galaxy now!

Here's the chapter, and enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 5

Jeez. It's been hard trying not to sleep in this goddess-forsaken prison, but by sheer willpower I stay awake.

There's nothing that these guys want to fix around here, eh?

Fine. Consider me awake the entire night.

And I don't care what they do, either. Yesterday, the guards noticed I was awake and shit, so they took me off to get beaten in a room somewhere basically until I slept, but I stood my ground and remained awake all night. In fact, Ike was rather concerned to see me so bruised up the next morning. I dared not tell him that I had not slept that night as an act of protest, but rather I told him I wasn't certain.

It doesn't matter how many times they beat me, though; there is no way in hell that these guys are going to get away with not fixing everything wrong in this place while I'm here! Ike needs help, and I am going to protest with my sleep schedule until they fix that hole in the god damn ceiling.

Hell, the entire prison could benefit from my act of protest; it all looks really run-down, it's dirty, and it looks like it should be a ghost town right now. So maybe it's for everybody that I'm doing this.

I don't care, though. I won't let my friend suffer this injustice anymore! I won't let anybody suffer this injustice anymore! I refuse to let this pass without justice being delivered on it!

And I will forever keep my nightly vigil inside of my cell until they do something about it.

And if they don't, well, they'll have to deal with no sleep from me.

And there is no way out of it for them.

* * *

Elf boy looks pretty fucked up right now. I mean, the poor guy looks like he hasn't gotten any sleep.

And he's not talking about what happened that got him no sleep, either.

Whatever.

I should probably eat my sandwich.

Speaking of food, I did tell Snake about what happened with the rats being in the kitchen and all that. Scared the bejesus out of him, and, needless to say, I got to sleep on the floor tonight since he was thinking he was sick with cholera or some other disease (that is definitely not passed by rats I might add).

And no, the floor is not uncomfortable. In fact, that spring in my bed is a pain in the ass, so Snake takes it upon himself to put me in his own bed for my 'comfort'.

I don't like what he does to me in that bed, which is why I'd prefer the floor to being in his bed any day.

I lifted the sandwich on the lunch tray and brought it up to my mouth, but I hesitated as I remembered the rats from a few days ago.

Should I be eating this disease-infected stuff? I mean, I don't want to get infected with anything at all right now since that could really fuck up my life more than it already is, and I have no idea where else I can get food.

So I either eat the stuff and possibly die a short death, or I starve myself and die a slow, painful, and certain death.

…

Grah, fuck it. I'm going to eat the piece of shit.

It doesn't look cooked, but I'd rather get sick than starve myself to death.

Without hesitation, I brought the sandwich up to my mouth and bit into it.

It just doesn't taste the same when you know that it's probably infected with some kind of disease. Okay, I used to love their club sandwiches when I had no idea the rats were in there, but sheesh, knowing the rats were in there has really fucked my world up.

But oh well. At least there's no way for a rat to get into my food, right?

Yeah.

I think I better shut up and eat my fucking sandwich…

* * *

_Man, these weights are fucking brittle today. Hell, they look like they're about to fall off._

_Seriously.__ These people don't replace equipment at all._

_I hate working out here. Everybody has a fetish for staring at me while I'm at work, and it really provokes a fight around these parts pretty fucking quickly. I don't want to do it__, and yet several before me have tried and wound up in the under-there. They died pretty quickly, too._

_As __Egavas__Nad__ always says, don't count your chances after you rape them._

_Hell, __a fight just broke up a few seconds ago, and I'm really the only one doing anything right now._

_Apparently, some dispute between two __Coban__ guys got into an argument that culminated in a fist fight over something that should have been fucking trivial. Needless to say, one of the guys was getting picked on, so he got tired of it and basically owned the guy._

_And needless to say, the poor kid is going to the under-there._

_And really, nobody cares anymore. It's become a little bit commonplace around here. I swear to fucking god._

_Of course, Mr. Naïve is going to have a fit. But that's okay; he's not here, and since Ike saw the incident as well he should be fine._

_So we should be fine._

_Now, I wonder when the motherfucker is going to fall asleep. I don't mean it in a bad way, but sleep is simply the best way to sort shit out around here._

_And some of us just don't get enough of it._

_But hell, I need to be lifting weights here._

_So, I kept on curling, minding my own business, the other cellmates talking and doing pretty much the same shit as I am._

_After all, we are just a body of criminals that did stuff. Most of us did things unintentionally, but this is the hellhole that we have to live a large portion of the rest of our lives in._

_Oh well. I guess there's nothing we can do about it._

* * *

**And, here we go again.**

**I wake up to find Link pacing the cell in the darkness.**

**It's seven o'clock in the morning. This is the time that everybody wakes up at.**

**And there's Link, pacing around the cell as if he never went to sleep.**

**Since the conversations were beginning to pick up at this hour, I poked my head out from the comfort of the rather thin blanket (the roaches came in one huge battalion last night, I swear to ****Ashera****) and looked at him.**

**"Morning," I said.**

**Link's pacing stopped, and he looked at me, the orbs glittering in the darkness.**

**"Morning," responded Link.**

**"Link, how are you up so early?" I asked. I knew it was stupid to ask, but still, a guy's ****gotta**** look out for someone, right?**

**"I didn't go to sleep," he told me. "Haven't you noticed that I haven't been sleeping for the past few weeks?"**

**"Well, no, actually," I responded.**

**He hadn't slept? I wonder when this happened.**

**"Well, okay," responded the Hylian.**** "But just so you know, I'm never sleeping in this place again."**

**My head abruptly snapped up, and I literally hit the ceiling.**

**I yelped in pain, rubbing my head as Link turned and ran to my bedside.**

**"You okay?" asked Link.**

**"Yeah, I'm fine," I responded. "But why aren't you sleeping?"**

**"So they can do something about the hole above your bed," said Link.**

**"What?" I asked, nearly tumbling out of the bed again in my shock.**

**"Keep quiet about it, though!" said Link. ****"****Sheesh****!"**

**"Link, no matter what we do, they never fix anything!" I told him. "You may never sleep for the rest of your life, and they'll just neglect you! They'd rather not be in this run-down shack!"**

**"Then they should put more work into fixing the god damn place so that they won't do this to us!" said Link.**** "But no, they're too stupid to realize this. So fine! If they can't be good enough for them, they can kiss my ass!"**

**"Link!"**** I said, feeling bad for him. "You realize that this could send you to the under-there, right?"**

**"See if I care," he responded. "This time, I can ****go lower knowing**** that I'm doing what's right! Before, I thought I was right, and yet here I am because I did things that were wrong! Well, you know what? It's time I did something for the right reasons for once! So screw the guards! Screw the rest of the world! I'm going to do things for the right reasons now, even if I go to the under-there! Got it?"**

**I just sat there, staring at him.**

**"Good," said the hero, not letting me answer his question.**

**Wow, jeez. Link's going to do that because of me?**

**Oh, dear…**

**I think I've gotten him into something bigger.**

**Ashera****, please help this guy. I don't care how you do it, but this guy deserves your best treatment now more than ever. Please, just pray for his safety and look over him.**

**I don't want him to go now!**

**After all, he's the only person who's cared enough about me to do something of this caliber for me.**


	7. Chapter 6

And I'm back.

Those of you that kept up with _Symphonische Metamorphosen _should remember that I went over to Eastern Music Festival last summer and I had a blast. Well, I'm going to audition for the festival again! So when Saturday comes around, cross your fingers and hope that I make it in again!

You all should know the rest. Here's the chapter, and enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 6

**Ah, dear.**

**If this is**** anything like what I expected to find in this place****, then my name is not Ike.**

**Link got into a fight with the security guards earlier today; apparently his lack of sleep got him the attention of the guards, and they were not happy.**

**What happened was that Link was starting to get purple circles around his eyes, and the guards noticed this. Then, they basically took Link in, and without asking what was going on they beat him violently.**

**Afterwards, Link did retaliate with the fact that we were being treated very poorly around here. But then, they just kept the punches coming at him, only this time they were to kill.**

**The fight got so bad that a group of guards that was patrolling the exercise room had to get into the fist fight to break it up. It was the craziest thing in the world.**

**And now, everybody's talking about it. It's the only thing that Sonic and Snake have been talking about all day, and it's been dominating everybody's conversation.**

**But I think it's why they're talking about it that gives it the vitality that it actually has; I think that somebody being willing to stand up to the guards has given them a lot of faith in themselves. Personally, I think it's a little misguided, but otherwise I'm happy for them. I mean, who better to turn to than a model in a world of oppression and other things like that?**

**Still, I do feel bad for Link about the beating. But hey, people have rights in this place, and those rights are being trampled on really badly.**

**I think it's time somebody stood up for us…

* * *

**

So life is going normal as it usually does. I'm in defiance of the guards in my own, silent little way, but that's okay.

After all, non-violent protest did get a lot farther than violent protest.

So, I just sat at the mess hall, refusing to eat my sandwich.

It's another thing of protest I've taken up; I think I'll only eat every other day now. Hell, the food tastes like crap anyway, and I think it'll help the maggot-rat issue out a little bit. So why not?

Of course, the guards aren't watching, so really, nothing is being done.

In fact, those stupid guards never do enough patrol routes of this place anyways. It's really no wonder that my protests aren't doing anything right now; after all, nobody's noticing but the inmates.

The inmates are all rather animated, though; I think that they feel better after all of these years of abuse are finally being confronted by somebody who's not afraid of the consequences. I'm just doing it for my friend, but now it seems I'm doing it for everybody! It's a rather funny prospect, actually, but I think I'll go ahead and take it up anyway.

My thoughts were interrupted as the guards came in.

However, they signaled the end of lunch, so we all had to get up and go.

I took my unused tray in my hands and went through the motions of disposing all of my uneaten items into the wastebasket and stuff.

I didn't say anything as I walked by the guards. Let the god damn sons of bitches find out that I am the one who never eats anything around here.

And with that, my first lunch protest failed.

Of course, they'll notice in time. These guards always notice when something is going wrong.

Hell, three weeks have passed since I first got here and I've already got myself a new purpose in life.

Only problem is, I have a very short time to get everything right in this joint. Damn execution being less than six months away.

Oh well. I act like a hero now, I go down like a hero then. And then, when I have any last requests, I think I'll just go ahead and tell the guy who asks that question that my soul is eternally going to haunt the governor of Smash Island until they give the prisoners better conditions. And seriously, once I go there, I think I'll ask to take leave of paradise so I can continue the mission posthumously.

Hey. No rest for the heroes, I guess. It's all part of the job description, after all.

* * *

Okay, I think elf boy is actually getting popular around here.

Whatever. If it affects me, then I'm fine sitting behind the scenes and waiting for things to come.

Me? I'm just sitting in my cell alone, waiting for nothing really.

I kind of like to think like this, actually. It gives me a little bit of time away from certain things, and it certainly is better than standing in a room full of sweating guys and shit.

Oh well. I guess I do need to think.

I wonder if anybody outside of the prison knows about what's going on? I mean, the fact that Link is standing up for our rights is getting to be big news around here, but what about the rest of the world? Does it know?

I don't think I'll ever know anytime soon.

All I know is that Link is standing up for our rights, and that he's getting a cult following behind it.

The guards suddenly came to my cell, and I jerked up in surprise as the door opened roughly. I jumped off the bed, wondering what was wanted of me now.

I think it was a group of three guards that came in to see me.

"The warden would like to see you now," said one of the guards before I was able to ask anything.

"What does he—?" I moved to ask.

"_Now,_" said the guard threateningly.

"Okay, okay," I told them, holding my hands up defensively. "Take a chill pill!"

I let them cuff me, and it was out of the cell with me. They led me through the usual hallways, and really, it's just all of the same thing. These days, I don't care to remember which direction these bitches take me when stuff goes on.

Finally, we arrived at the office of the warden, and I was left waiting there for nothing as one of the guards went inside the office. A few seconds later, the guard that went in went out again, and he motioned the guards to take me in.

I let them lead me into the office.

God damn, I hate this guy's office. If the principal's office back at my high school had been stripped of all of the certificates and Ph.D's and shit, then it would look exactly like the office of the head honcho did. Jesus Christ, this is boring.

And seriously? Large people scare the shit out of me. The fact that the warden is a large penguin with one of the most repetitive names on the fucking planet makes it all the worse for me.

Yeah. Dedede is a son of a bitch. All the motherfucking way.

A lot of us hate him; I mean, if it wasn't for the fact that he didn't let all of this abuse happen, then we'd all be fine with him. Of course, he lets it happen, so now we get guys like Link that try to help things out. Sometimes I can't help but think about whether somebody's pulling some strings behind the scenes.

The warden looked at me with squinty eyes as he sat at the desk.

Oh, boy. I can feel the sweat sliding down my face already. The fact that my fur was in the way didn't help much, either.

"Mr. Sonic the Hedgehog, correct?" asked Dedede.

I'm already uncomfortable enough in this room; why the hell did you have to refer to me as a 'mr.'? I don't like being called a mister, and if I ever get married to some bitch somewhere, then that will probably be the only time I'll be fine with it.

Fuck it. At this point, I need major stress relief.

"Please don't call me 'mister'," I said.

"I can call you whatever I want, and that is the _end_ of it!" responded Dedede, banging his fist on the desk that he sat behind. "Now, I have been hearing reports from your fellow inmates that there have been sounds coming your cell at night lately. Can you explain this action?"

Aw, shit. I can't tell them, or else I'll be dead and Snake will be in the under-there. No, I have to lie now.

"What kind of sounds?" I asked.

"Pain," said the warden. "Lust. I don't know. The inmates all say that it sounds like something that should protrude from an alleyway somewhere."

"Well, then I don't know what you're talking about," I responded. "Seriously. Perhaps your inmates are—"

"Insane?" asked Dedede. "I don't buy that excuse at all. Too many inmates complain about it."

"Then maybe they don't know where it's actually coming from?" I asked.

"That is a good point, but no," said the warden. "But it's not good enough."

"Then I don't know what's going on," I said.

Dedede looked at me with one of those looks that said 'don't play games with me, motherfucker.

Sheesh. No wonder inmates go crying for their mothers after they see the warden. This guy is fucking intimidating.

"I'll give you a month," he said suddenly. "If the noises don't stop, and if you can't come up with a good reason as to what is going on, then you will wish you were never alive. Dismissed!"

The guards (Wait, there were guards flanking the doors?) came and led me out.

I let out a huge sigh of relief as I was uncuffed and placed back in my cell.

God damn, that was fucked up.

* * *

_So, Sonic told me that he got the opportunity to meet the warden yesterday._

_Poor son of a bitch.__ He didn't tell anybody, but damn that warden sounds incredibly intimidating. I sure wouldn't want to meet him any time soon._

_I think Link and Ike agree with me as well; Sonic told me about it in the cell and then I discussed it with Link and Ike. They seem to be agreeing, but you never can tell what some motherfuckers have up their sleeves._

_As __Egavas__Nad__ always says, don't trust the motherfucker until you're sure they've exposed their secrets._

_And I'm pretty sure that they have their secrets._

_Oh well. At least I know what to do._

_I'll just keep pretending I trust them so I can see what they're really up to…_


	8. Chapter 7

Hello, children. How are you on this fine Friday?

I had nothing to do, so I thought I'd finish this chapter today. Thank OTP days, I guess; they serve no practical function for students, but they still rock because we get the day off.

Oh, and _No More Heroes_ rocks. If you can get it, get it; you won't regret it. Some things about it are hard as hell, but otherwise it's the best action game on the planet. Comedy, action, and great characters! I think Suda51's on to something...

And now, I give you this. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 7

Okay. I seriously don't get something.

Nobody's gotten what they want at all yet, and yet it's now been three weeks since I last saw the warden. Link's been protesting at every turn, and yet he keeps on getting beaten for what he does and whatnot.

He's got a lot of courage, though; I wouldn't be able to do half of that stuff that Link has managed to do. Of course, now he's been darting his head this way and that, but really, it got me his respect.

In fact, I kind of feel guilty for playing around with him when we first met. Now that I look back on it, I can't believe how fucking stupid I was to tell him off the way I did. I would like to apologize, but Link's probably put it somewhere else for the moment.

And in other news, I still haven't thought of a good excuse. Oh, shit, I hope that something saves me from having to face that motherfucker again.

And if it's Link, even better; it will give him my utmost respect. It's already general knowledge that Link is trying to help out here, but fuck, it makes life here all the more bearable. I mean, if it does ultimately succeed, then perhaps we haven't suffered for nothing at all. And actually, it makes us all realize one thing; we're all in this together.

Which is why I've decided to climb into Snake's bed more often. I don't like what he does to me in there, but these days, I grin and bear it. After all, if the sounds we make in that bed annoy the hell out of the staff, why not? It's time that push turned to shove.

Motherfuckers.

And it's even better, because tomorrow we get an inspection agent to make sure the prison is running smoothly. If it so happens that they select somebody to get beaten (which I don't think will happen, but hey, the chance is still there), then it's even better; it's just one step closer to getting our rights back. After all, once the people find out, the outrage is going to force Dedede to give us our rights that we've been needing for so long.

Wow. I think I just sounded eloquent there.

That is so unlike me.

But really, it's all true. I really do feel like that, and in all actuality, even if it is out of my character I still feel it's the only fucking way I can put it.

So, there's hope for all of us.

Let's just hope that things go as I hope they will…

* * *

So, the inspector comes around today, eh? 

This is the time that we're supposed to pretend everything is normal, and that we're receiving good treatment. Is that it?

Pretend that everything is normal, my ass. Normal in this place is fucked up, and there is no way in hell that I am going to pretend that everything's fine.

Actually, I'm going to use the guard's own weapons of intellect against them; if they don't like it when we don't do things for kicks, I'll let their anger take control. Provided the inspector walks in at the right time, it will work like a dream.

The tactics are incredibly dirty, but if it will do anything to get our rights back, it'll work.

We were all gathered into the mess hall so that things would look normal. At least, whatever their definition of normal was. We all had food in front of us, but I refused to eat. Everybody else ate, but I remained steadfast.

Everybody else was just playing along; Ike and Snake are playing along because they know what my game plan is, and everybody else playing along hoping that I can help them out.

At least this time the food is somewhat better than it normally is. I took maybe one or two bites of it to make it look like I had eaten something, but really, I didn't feel like going on because of what my game plan involved.

Man, I can hardly wait for this to play out.

The guards finally filed into the room, signaling that the inspector was close. At first, they did nothing, and apparently they didn't notice that I was sitting there doing absolutely nothing with my food.

Oh well. Stay still, Link. They'll notice eventually. After all, they always do.

And sure enough, the guards looked at me and began walking towards me, all of them disappearing from my sight as they neared me. I was able to hear their footsteps, though, and I inwardly smiled as they came close.

At first, I felt a light prodding sensation in my ribs. Probably them trying to get me to eat.

I didn't budge at all. I'm not going to fall to you bitches anytime soon.

Then, I flinched a little as I felt a security guard's breath on my face.

Jesus Christ, dude! What did you drink last night? Your breath is full of alcohol! Or something!

"Hey," said the guard politely. "We want you to eat. Is that too much to ask?"

I just sat there. Keep going…

"Will you please eat?" asked the guard after clearing his throat.

I think that the guards are beginning to gesture wildly at each other from behind my back. I think they might get to the point soon…

The guard sighed and knelt next to my seat. Come on, give me the fucking good stuff!

"Listen," said the guard. "We do not want to beat you up today. The inspectors are here, and we do not want bad impressions. So eat."

Oh, dear. They're really playing their safe cards now. At this point, I have to act now or nothing will be accomplished.

"Give me one fucking good reason why you want to look so good to them," I said.

"Because we have families to feed?" asked the guard.

It took all of my willpower to keep myself from laughing.

Because you have families to feed? Come on!

"You do realize that that is a weak argument," I countered. "Right?"

"But sir, I—" began the guard.

"Why the fuck should I give a shit about you and your family that you need to feed?" I asked him.

He paused, not sure what to say. One thing is that the other guards were clearly beginning to be annoyed. I think I'm getting there. Now, I just need to push them the right amount…

I can tell that the guy that's talking to me has the most collected demeanor of all of the guards; this one rarely gets in the fights. He's actually sort of a mama's boy-type person; he does only what he's supposed to do. But he takes orders without question, so obviously they ordered him around.

"Sir, please don't swear at me," said the guard.

"What makes you think I shouldn't?" I asked the guard. "Everybody's sworn at some point in their lives."

"That's not the point!" said the guard. "The point is that I have a family to feed and I can't do anything else around here."

"Do you think I actually care about your family?" I asked him.

"Well, yes," said the guard. "After all, a family is very dear to anybody. Right?"

There was a short silence, and afterwards I couldn't hold it back any longer.

Without prompting, I began to laugh wildly. I got stares from every direction wondering what I was laughing at, but I don't fucking care. Anything that will get these guards annoyed is enough.

They waited for me to stop laughing. And I did after a few seconds.

"You actually _think_ I care for your family?" I asked, still laughing. "Because you hang around us more than you hang around them, and what do we get? Beatings for things we have no control over."

At this point, I figured one of the guards was beginning to get fed up with my behavior, for then I felt somebody grab my arm roughly. I then felt whoever had grabbed me shake me very roughly and with an intent to kill.

"Listen, mister!" said the other guard threateningly. (I think it was the 'bitch' guard. She is a real bitch, too…) "You will act normally in this situation, or so help me God I am going to tear your fucking throat out!"

"May as well tear it out then," I said, not flinching after the physical contact. "Face it; this is a world where a person disobeying orders is normal. I don't know what you're fussing about, because this is normal for people in a world where you don't care what 'normal' constitutes for us. So fuck you. I don't have to follow—."

I think that did it, because then I felt the first blow connect with my cheekbone.

And after that, all hell broke loose. When the fist connected with my cheekbone, I think I fell onto the guy next to me, and before I knew it I had been pulled down to the floor where the punches began raining on me. I think I heard fellow prisoners trying to get the angry guards off of me, because I heard yelling all over me.

And then, after a few seconds it was over. Everybody had frozen where they stood, and they all looked in the same direction. After the guards let go of me, I twisted around and stood up to see what was going on.

Sure enough, Dedede was standing next to the inspector, both of them just having entered the room. Behind his little glasses and his nerd-type look, a look of shock and anger beyond anything else played on his face. The penguin looked in kind, though inside I'll bet he's ready to kill someone. Probably the guards, but that's beside the point.

After a long silence, the inspector looked at Dedede, the shock having worn off.

"I am afraid this is serious, Mr. Dedede," said the inspector. "I believe this set of guards will have to be fired. Now is there anything else that is wrong in here?"

Dedede was at a loss of words. Oh, yeah! I gotcha there, bitch!

"No, sir," responded the warden.

"Good," said the inspector. "This is your first warning about corruption in the prison. If anybody has to warn you again, you can say goodbye to this job."

The warden nodded, and the two of them disappeared behind the door that they had come in through.

The guards looked back at me, all of them with anger in their faces.

One of them raised a club against me, but really, it's redundant.

"You know, you did just prove his point."

All eyes reverted to Ike, who was standing just a few feet away from where I was.

(Since when was he close to the action? He wasn't even sitting next to me when all that happened…)

"I mean, you beat us whenever we don't eat," said Ike. "That is a clear statement of your hatred towards us. So if you can't behave like civilized men and realize that we were also once civilized men, get out."

The guards looked at each other, and then they all got up and left.

I win.

Bitches.

* * *

**I sat on a bench in the gym, Link sitting next to me on the bench.**

**The guards were fired, as directed by the inspector.**

**It's worked like a miracle, actually; right now, we're actually being better behaved than we normally are. I'm not just talking about Link; everybody ****is behaving better. Nobody is swearing right now (which is good, since I'm getting tired of everybody swearing their heads off…), and we're all just going around doing absolutely nothing.**

**It's refreshing; you'd think that this is ****when all hell would break loose, but really, we're just sitting here being normal civilians for once.**

**And apparently, it's going to be like this until they hire new guards. I can hardly wait for it at all.**

**Neither of us said much, the two of us just doing whatever we felt like doing with the weights. The gym was pretty much empty today, since ****we're ****the only people in here. It's kind of nice, actually, because ****now I don't deal with all the noise that goes on around here.**

**Man, if only prison was like this every day.**

**Finally, Link grunted and set the dumbbells he had been working with on the rack and turned to face me.**

**"Well, we did it," he told me. "We might get something done about that hole in the ceiling finally."**

**"Yeah," I said, continuing what I was doing with my own set of dumbbells. "It's crazy. It's been around two months since you've come in, and already you've done so much for all of us here. I don't like how you managed to reveal their fraud, though. I mean, you did provoke them into beating you, right?"**

**"That's true," said Link. ****"But really, under normal circumstances?**** They got provoked into beating us if we didn't fit in. Plus, they let this place go into neglect. So relatively speaking, those motherfuckers ****got what they had coming. And hopefully, they'll do something right with the next set they hire."**

**"But that's not enough to ensure our rights," I countered. "Hiring a new set of guards? Not my idea of getting our rights back."**

**"Yes, but what about the public?" asked Link. "Snake told me that yesterday's beating made it on headline news."**

**"Wait, Snake reads the news?" I asked.**

**This is new. Last I checked**** I couldn't find anybody in this place that was i****nto the news. And really, Snake seems like the most unlikely candidate for reading the news.**

**"Well, not really," responded Link**** as I laid my set of dumbbells on the floor****. "He reads it because of a love advice column that's in the paper. I think it's by an ****Egavas****Nad**** or somebody like that. But anyways, when he got the paper, he couldn't help but notice that there was something on the front page about a prison. When he read further, he realized ****that it was us the paper was talking about."**

**"So the public is going to get pissed off about it," I said.**

**"Yes," said my companion, who began pacing around the room with a smile on his face. "And they'll have to do something when the mob starts protesting around the city hall. And if they go in the right direction, we could get our rights."**

**"Ah!" I exclaimed.**

**"Good, you got it," said Link.**

**"I think you going on that rampage ****was**** the best thing that happened to this place, eh?" I asked.**

**Link's expression dropped suddenly.**

**Oh, no. I don't think I should have worded it like that…**

**"Oh, I'm sorry," I said abruptly.**

**"No, don't worry about it," said my companion, sitting next to me on the bench.**** "In a sickeningly fucked up way, you're right."**

**"Yeah," I said. "I… I think you deserve our thanks here… So thank you. For everything you've done."**

**The Hylian winked at me as my face turned to greet his.**

**"Hey, nothing to it," he responded. "I'm just doing what I should have done earlier."**

**I chuckled, and the conversation continued for a long time. We talked about quite a bit of stuff****, actually**** I think we talked a lot about ourselves, and our friendships and acquaintances outside of the prison, about our friends in the prison, and a whole lot of other things. I couldn't recall the conversation now because it all flowed by like a dream.**

**And when we went to the cell later, I think ****Link**** actually went to sleep for the first time in weeks. I know this because when I woke up the next morning, he was snoring on the bed beneath me.

* * *

**

I'm sitting here in the unusual calm of what happened after the guards got fired. I can barely wait to see what happens next. Snake's off in the weight room and there's nothing to do, so I figured I'd sit and think a little

Shit, I'm shaking. I have to come up with an excuse for Dedede by tonight, or else my ass is done for. Okay, I might have my rights, but what good will it do if the warden is intimidating?

Ah, shit. I'm fucked.

This is just about the worst place ever.

I can remember back when I took those shots of whiskey or whatever I drank that night. We were all partying and shit, and we were all happy with each other.

Why, oh why, did it have to lead to this hell-hole? I fucking hate them! They tricked me!

I heard a set of footsteps, and then I saw guards.

They weren't new, though. I recognized them as the guards of the visitors rooms.

"Sonic, yes?" asked one of the guards.

"That's me," I responded. "Why are you guys here?"

"You have a visitor," said the other guard. "I've been asked to keep the identity of your visitor a surprise."

"You're not shitting me, are you?" I asked. "I mean, this is odd and stuff, and—"

"Don't worry about that," responded apparently what was the older of the two guards.

I sighed, knowing where this was going.

"Come in," I said.

They went into my cell, put my hands into the familiar cuffs, and escorted me to the visitors room.

The walk was rather boring, too. Damn it!

But it was when I had my cuffs removed and was put in the visitor's room when I got the shock of my life. Sitting on the other side of the bars was somebody all too familiar.

Damn pink fur. Why'd that have to give it away?

"Ames?" I asked as I entered the room, the shock slowly showing on my face as I advanced towards the bars.

"Sonic," said my ex-girlfriend simply.

She was sitting on the other side of the bars with that trademark pink dress of hers. Her head hung limp for I don't know what reason

Yep. It's Ames all right.

The fuck? When she dumped me, she had resolved not to speak to me ever again.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. "I thought you were never going to talk to me again after that."

"I did, yes," said Ames. "But then, I got the paper in the mailbox yesterday morning saying that somebody had gotten beaten here."

"Link, right?" I asked, taking a seat in the chair.

"Yes," said my ex. "But that's not the point. The point is that I did all that to you because I was angry."

"Right," I said. "Go on."

"And then, when I got the paper yesterday, I was shocked," said Amy. "I… I wasn't able to believe what I read. I had actually left you in a place where you could get hurt. And… And I felt I had wronged you. I'm sorry…"

You're not crying, but your voice is rather… sincere. If I was on the other side of the bars, I would have hugged her.

Wow. Sincere.

That's the first big word to come to mind in a while.

"It's okay, Ames," I said, reaching my hand through the bars and laying it there.

Upon noticing my hand sneaking in there, she clutched it with all she had. I think she would have brought it up to her face, but the fact that the table was there kept it from happening. I know Ames like a book; that's what she would do in a case like this.

"So, what else are you here to tell me?" I asked as tenderly as possible as Amy held on to my hand.

She looked at me, seeming like she was mustering all of the courage in the world to say something.

"You're free…" she said.

"Yeah," I said. "I don't know about that, though, because I'm still behind bars."

"No," she stated. "Think. You're free."

Wait, what?

Okay, Sonic. Think. What could she mean by free?

Well by your original interpretation of the context, you figured that you were free from the problems that not having a constant companion outside of the prison would free my soul a little, but apparently I was wrong. So what else would be new?

(Holy shit, that felt like something from debate class. I'm not normally THAT fancy!)

Unless…

"You mean you payed?" I asked. "All of it?"

"I couldn't get your driver's license reinstated," she said. "But otherwise, yes. I paid it. You're free, Sonic. You don't have to stay in this place anymore."

"Are you serious?" I asked, the excitement in me beginning to build.

"Yes," said Amy, her eyes lighting up.

It took all of the willpower vested in me to keep me from jumping into the air and doing a victory pose, but I still wrapped my fingers around Ames with a crushing force, the tears of joy beginning to seep out of my eyes.

Finally! No more Snake to do things in bed! No more annoying spring that's there! No more Dedede to intimidate the shit out of me! No more of that stuff that I hated about this place!

I'm free!

I didn't say anything for a while, and I looked at Ames, unsure of what to say next.

Finally, I figured out what I should say next, and I opened my mouth.

"So, when do I get out of here?" I asked.

"Right now, sir."

I turned around to see a guard standing there.

"What?" I asked. "Are you serious?"

"Very," said the guard. "I'll escort you to the restrooms so you can get out of that uniform and into something more comfortable, eh?"

I looked at Amy, and she nodded at me. I know I can trust her to wait on me, but the extra confirmation helps.

So I followed the guard to a restroom, and he gave me a white shirt and some jeans. After finally getting out of that annoying prison uniform, I pulled the jeans onto me and realized just how great it felt to have them on. The shirt felt even better, actually, since it doesn't actually wrinkle around my body. He also left a jacket in there for me to change into, so I went ahead and put that on too, finally glad that I had something normal on for once.

I walked out, and the guard escorted me to a doorway where I would be free once and for all.

I stopped at the door, though, and realized that I hadn't said goodbye to Link or Ike or any of the guys I had come to know in my time here.

Ah, shit! I can't believe this! Damn it!

How could I leave and not tell them?

"Something the matter?" asked the guard.

Or maybe I can get the guard to tell them.

"You know who Link is, right?" I asked.

"Of course," he said.

"Would you go to him and tell him that I'm sorry for what I did to him when we met and that he has my gratitude for getting me out of here?" I asked.

It's true, actually; now that I think about it, the guy I used to make fun of saved my life deserves some kind of apology. It's not in person, but it will do. I hope.

"I shall," said the guard.

"Thank you," I stated.

Then, without another moment's hesitation, I opened the door, and upon finding Amy there I let out the excitement that had built up in me out in the form of leaping into her equally excited form.

In the words of Martin Luther King, Jr., I'm free at last. Thank God Almighty, I'm free at last.

* * *

_**Damn it! This isn't how it's supposed to go!**_

_**My guards aren't supposed to be fired! That annoying hedgehog isn't supposed to get away! What the hell is this?**_

_**Damn that Link! Damn him to fucking hell!**_

_**'Give us our rights.' **__**Pah**__**. You prisoners violated the rights of others; what makes you think that you deserve rights? You scumbags are good for nothing but rotting in hell! Those bastards that killed my entire family in front of my eyes got no mercy, so why should these other criminals that did things to people get mercy?**_

_**Screw them! **____**They're not getting their rights!**_

_**And that Link… What shall I do with him?**_

_**I know! I'll make his life miserable. No more mercy for him!**_

_**Now he's really going to know what it is to defy the law, and especially me!**_

_**For **__**I**__**, Dedede, am the law, and anything I do is fact whether they like it or not. And for that, I am going to make your life miserable, Link!**_

_**You will rue the day you dared to defy me, Hylian! You will rue the day you stayed up all night!**_


	9. Chapter 8

Hello, children.

I've been busy around here, and in fact I just got back from Maryland auditioning for colleges. I actually have to go through it again this next weekend, so man am I busy lately.

It'll all calm down once the first week of March ends, though. Maybe then I'll be able to do stuff here more often than I have been.

But I digress. Two things about the chapter that I'm going to point out here:

1) I'll bet you will all be wondering one thing when you get to Ike's section of the chapter; 'what the hell is Wolf doing in there?'. Well, if you haven't checked Brawl Central (which is seperate from the Dojo, BTW), they list Wolf as one of the hidden characters, and I've seen footage of his final smash actually. So therefore, it can properly be said that Wolf will be in Brawl. Hence, why I included him. (I actually would have put Olimar in, but he doesn't strike me as the kind to commit crime, hence you get Wolf. Rest assured, though, Olimar will appear somewhere along the line.)

2) Remember the yaoirape warning in the summary? Well, if you're not into guys raping guys, then turn back while you can. Don't tell me I didn't warn you, because I did.

And you know the rest. Here's the chapter!

* * *

Chapter 8

I woke up to getting my face slapped with a newspaper.

"Link!" I heard Ike saying as I was woken up rather abruptly. "This is unbelievable!"

I turned over onto my side, opening my eyes slowly to see Ike standing above me waving a newspaper all over the place. I think he was excited over something.

I think I also missed breakfast, since the newspapers don't normally arrive until later in the morning.

"What…?" I asked groggily.

Yep. I definitely missed breakfast; my stomach is growling crazily. I think it's probably also what I put myself through before the guards were fired, but four days have passed since they've last been fired.

Speaking of which, I wonder how Sonic's doing; I had gotten word from one of the visitor's room guards two days ago that Sonic's ex got him out of here. I barely knew he had a love life, but if she got him out of there I'm feeling good for him; we're still stuck here, but really, it's for the best. I wonder how he's doing out there and whether he won't forget how he managed to get out.

By then, I think my train of thought was beginning to distract me, because then Ike started slapping me with the newspaper.

"What?" I asked, this time sounding a lot more awake.

Yeah. I think my train of thought woke me up too.

"Link, you're not going to believe this!" he told me. "Dedede was at a press conference."

"Okay," I said. "And?"

"And he said that no such things were being done in the prison and that your affair was a one-time thing!" shouted my cellmate.

"What?" I asked. "You're kidding me!"

"Read for yourself," stated Ike, handing me the newspaper. It was already turned to the headline, and I quickly breezed through the article.

"No…" said Link. "So all that I put myself through… All the hunger… The loss of sleep… The bruises…"

"It was all for nothing!" said Ike. "Link! This is serious!"

"Damn it!" I roared. "First they royally screw me over by beating me, and now they have to be dishonest about what they did too? Can't they just leave it well alone and give them their rights?"

"I don't know," responded Ike. "And for the record, the new guards came in, and I think they're worse than the ones we used to have."

Oh, shit. That's not good. That's fucking messed up! It's not cool!

"Why?" I asked.

"Well, when you walk within two feet of them and they start threatening you, I would think that that would be a good indication of being worse than what we used to have," said Ike. "When I got close to one of them, they actually said that they couldn't wait to beat the shit out of you for no reason."

"Damn it!" I said. "What the hell is going on?"

"I think it's the warden…" responded Ike. "I don't know. The day he left some people say he was sitting in his cell muttering to himself. Snake told me later that he was trying to come up with an excuse for the warden. I think that guy's intimidating, and I don't think he'll stop until he's messed up our lives."

"I'm tired of this bullshit!" I yelled, getting up. "Don't they realize that if they just give us our fucking rights they won't have to deal with fuckheads like me?"

"Dude!" said Ike, waving his hands in a pacifistic manner. "Settle down! The guards will hear you and you'll—"

"So, Mr. Sleepyhead finally decided to get up, eh?" shouted a female voice from behind Ike.

Shit. I think that's a guard. She's all girly, too.

I don't like girly girls. Fine, Zelda was an exception; she had a will of her own, and she actually was able to do stuff with me. Hell, she even fired light arrows at Ganon. That takes a lot of nerve, too.

But this bitch? No way. Just, no way.

"Just letting you know that we're the new guards," said the same bitch. "So when you're ready, step outside. We'll be waiting…"

I think she left after that, because I heard her footsteps walking away from me.

I don't think I want to come out after what she just said. Now, I suddenly have the urge to yell murder and kill every last motherfucker in the vicinity, I swear.

I've had it with this bullshit. It's fucked up, it's annoying, and it's run by a bunch of fucked-up idiots who can't tell an apple from a banana.

I just stood there for a while, neither Ike nor me saying anything. I'm just too angry to move, and I think Ike is waiting for me to say something.

"So, you want to stay here?" asked Ike.

"Sure…" I said, my voice burning with anger.

So, we just stood there doing nothing for a good two hours.

And then, that bitch returned and ordered us to lunch.

I just walked outside, being careful not to get within range of the guards.

* * *

**I still cannot believe this. This is really messed up.**

**Even in the weight room, I still can't figure this out. I mean, we were so close, and yet we lost all of our rights with a few words.**

**Darn. This Dedede is a crook; who hired him to be our warden? I'd like to know who hired him so I can go complain to him.**

**I'm pretty sure it's Dedede pulling all the strings here; after all, he has to hire the guards, and he did say those things that the newspaper said he did, so he has to have been pulling a few strings here.**

**But to think he would take it this far? Oh, dear.**

**I was silent the whole day, and I only dared to speak to Link. I only dared to speak to him because I understood what he was thinking the entire day. I also helped him evade the guards, too, actually, because I could sense that something was up with them. Really, they're way too full of themselves for our own good. This is going to be scary, I swear.**

**So, I was sitting there the entire day next to Link until just now.**

**Apparently, the warden wanted to see him about some business. They probably took him in to get beaten, though.**

**I'm scared for Link, because I hope that they don't kill him in their anger. I swear, if they do kill him, I'm just going to take up Link's banner and ****I'm going to ****march on with it for what's right.**

**But of course, I'm not going to tell them that.**** I actually don't think I'm going to tell anybody that.**

**And of course, I've been avoiding contact all day, with my face wearing a somber expression. It's what I do when I brood, I guess. I also get distracted, but that's a little different.**

**"Hey, kid. You okay?"**

**Yeah. I definitely get distracted. Where the hell did that come from?**

**I turned to my left to find a wolf sitting next to me. I swear**** that eye-patch thing that he has on his left eye is scaring the living Ashera out of me.**** I mean, what's up with the ****eyepatch**

**I think he looks rather decent otherwise.**

**"I'm fine," I lied. I don't think I can trust him yet. "I just tend to get distracted."**

**"Don't be," he said, still talking to me. "You might end up like I did."**

**"Which is how?" I asked. Now I'm just curious.**

**"As in, ending up in the wrong place at the wrong time," stated my companion.**

**Oh, boy. I'll bet it's one of those fugitive types. Ouch.**

**That sucks. We're kind of on the same boat, and yet I can't understand his pain no matter how hard I try. After all, he didn't do much; he just stood in the wrong place at the wrong time. I actually did something.**

**And yet he's in on the treatment too. Oh, man this is going to smart.**

**"I see…" I said. "What happened?"**

**"I don't feel like getting into that…" said my friend. "I don't think I know you well enough. The name's Wolf, by the way. Wolf O'Donnell."**

**I nodded, holding my hand out for him to shake.**

**"Ike," I said.**

**Wolf looked at my hand for a second, and then he took my hand and shook it. I think it was a disinterested shake, actually, because there wasn't much soul in it.**

**Eh. Probably what happens to guys who feel they get no justice in the justice ****system.**** Can't say I blame him, actually. The corruption in this prison is sickening.**

**"So, how did you get in?" asked Wolf.**

**"I stole stuff," I told him. "I was trying to keep my sister alive, you see."**

**"Ah," he said. "That must be even worse."**

**"It is," I said. "But it makes me curious of what you did because you asked."**

**"Well, let's just say that some bitch got me into something I didn't want to get involved with," replied the wolf curtly.**

**"I see…" I said. "In which case, when did you come in?"**

**"During lunch today," responded Wolf.**** "I don't get out of this place for another six months."**

**Hm. No wonder I haven't seen him around.**

**"I see…" I said. "I'm supposed to be let out in a month. I've been in here for two months."**

**"So we won't see much of each other, then?" asked Wolf.**

**"Well, I'll be gone in a month, so it shouldn't be that bad," I said.**

**"True," said Wolf. "You do realize that I am your new cellmate, right?"**

**Wait, what? Where the hell did Link go?**

**"What?" I asked. ****"Since when?"**

**"Since the guards told me just now," said Wolf. "I think the warden moved your old cellmate to somebody else's cell."**

**"I see…" I said.**

**Damn it! I think the warden is playing dirty here! First the guards, then the screwing over of all of his efforts, and now taking him away from his best friend in this god-forsaken place?**

**What the hell is wrong with these people?**

**Oh well. Hopefully they moved him to somewhere where he's nice.**

**And at least my own new cellmate seems like a nice guy.**

**"So, I thought I'd introduce myself," said Wolf. "You want to talk for a little while longer?"**

**Talk for a bit? I don't see why not.**

**"Sure," I said.**

**And our conversation continued from there.

* * *

**

So, I found out that I was switching cell mates.

Eh. At least Ike's new cell mate seems like a nice guy.

And I'm Snake's cellmate now, actually. It shouldn't be so bad; he's a nice guy, and I think Sonic was lucky to have him as a cellmate. He's a good guy.

I'm just wondering when the fuck he's going to show up. The spring that juts out of Sonic's bed is still there, and it's not likely that it's going to be fixed anytime soon, so I have to sleep with Snake.

And he's off in the weight room when we're supposed to be in our cells, so I don't know when he's going to come back.

I don't know, though. I smell some pretty sweet-smelling stuff on the bed sheets, and I know that the bed sheets are only washed once every two weeks, so I wonder what Sonic and Snake did to the sheets to get it smelling so… odd…

Yes. Odd. It's not a flowery sweet; it's more like it smells of something sweet, yet really messed up at the same time. I don't know what in the world they did to this bed.

I guess I'll ask when he comes back.

Speaking of coming back, there he is. He was let back into the cell by the guards, who then left. He stood at the cell door, waiting for the guards to walk away.

"Hi," I said nonchalantly.

"How are you feeling tonight?" asked Snake.

"I'm okay, I guess," I responded. "I'm still mad about our rights getting screwed over, though."

"I see…" said Snake. "Well, life has its rough spots, doesn't it?"

"Yep," I said as he approached the bed. "What did Egavas Nad say in the paper today?"

"I haven't gotten to reading that," said Snake. "But I will get to it later tonight, after you have gone to bed."

Wait. Something isn't right here.

Thing is, Snake isn't normally this formal. By now, there would be at least five or six four-letter words in there right now. But to see him not swearing…

Did I miss something?

Oh well. Play along Link.

"But won't you have to wake me up to get to it?" I asked.

Snake looked at me oddly.

It was then that I noticed that he had begun to take off his prison uniform, the orange outfit almost zipped out completely open.

Oh, man. This guy sleeps _naked_?

Shit. Something's going to happen.

"That is kind of the point, actually," he told me. "I get up, and you keep on pretending you're sleeping."

Wait, isn't that something that normally only lovers do?

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked. "We're both guys."

"Shouldn't have to matter," he said. "Just admit it. You love me."

What? Where the fuck did that come from?

True, we've spent plenty of time together, but love? Hell no. First of all, I'm not gay. Second, if I was, I would be in love with Ike; I know Snake well, but I've never told him much about how I felt about certain things, so he wouldn't know enough about me to say such things. Ike got that kind of information.

So I don't know what the hell he's talking about.

"What do you mean?" I asked. "I'm not gay!"

He looked at me as he stripped himself of his uniform and his underwear, tossing both down onto the floor. It was only a second later that I felt his naked frame on top of me, something hard poking at my abdomen.

"So you don't?" asked Snake. "Then I'll make you love me."

Before I had time to think, Snake mashed his lips against mine, and all at once the rancid smell of tobacco and such things hit my senses with a ton of bricks. I was so distracted by this that I couldn't object to Snake unzipping my own uniform, quickly getting it off of me and tossing it to the floor along with the underpants that he had somehow removed as well.

What the hell? Why are you doing this? You make somebody love you by being all 'hey there, I got these roses for you, I love you very much'. This is not the way to do it!

I tried to flail around. I did. But the fact that Snake was pinning my arms down meant that I couldn't flail much.

So I was pretty much powerless as he lifted my legs by using the sheer force of his hips and his thighs.

I don't remember what happened after that. After all, it was just a shitload of searing pain emanating from my ass. I think my sounds of pain were covered by his mouth over mine, and it just sucked.

And as I felt some warm liquid explode inside of me, the pain was so fucking bad I couldn't think straight until I went to bed.

When the sharp sting in my ass woke me up in the middle of the night, I suddenly realized why Sonic was the way he was when we first met.

And all of a sudden, I felt sorry for him. He had to go through this, and was probably threatened with death if he told.

If only he was still here. Maybe then, I would have somebody I could talk to about it.

But I'm feeling trapped here.

I'm trapped in this messed up world!


	10. Chapter 9

Hello, children.

I got Brawl! (H.W. does a victory dance). Right now, I have both Sonic and Snake, and I just unlocked Lucario via the Subspace Emissary. It's insanity, but it's still fun!

Except for the Smash Balls. I swear, that path of the smash ball is rigged somehow since I can never get it. And then, I get sent flying off the stage, and then it's not cool. You get my drift?

But eh. It'll get better with practice, I guess.

So here's the next chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 9

_Man, that was a good fuck._

_I can't remember anybody being better than Link. I mean, his ass was just so fucking tight and everything. Man, I loved that fuck._

_And everything seemed completely right about it too. Link made great sounds into my mouth, and Christ!_

_Egavas Nad would be jealous of me right now. I know that for sure._

_Dedede really did know how to pick them I guess; he told me that with Sonic out, he could get Link in here, and he guaranteed a great fuck and everything. And man was he right! I don't regret it for one minute!_

_Man, I can't describe that fuck well enough. It was even better than the time I fucked that fat-ass plumber in the back streets—Mario, I think that was his name—, and that is now the second best fuck I've ever had._

_Oh, boy. Who knew that I could still get laid in a place like this? And with approval from the warden, on top of that!_

_It all makes me want to laugh!_

_But first, I need to set the ground rules for Link, and right now he's on the floor with his prison uniform back on._

_I should probably get into my own fucking uniform too. Dedede never tells his guards anything, I swear._

_So, I climbed down the ladder, picked up my prison uniform from the floor, put it back on, and patted Link lightly in the shoulder._

"_Hi," I said. "You should probably get the fuck up."_

_I heard a light groan, and Link turns to me with his face all sissy-like. I swear, bitch, don't wake up with tear-stained eyes next time!_

"_I can't tell anybody, can I?" asked Link._

_Well, damn. That's basically all of the ground rules right there. And then some more shit that's completely unrelated to this._

"_Pretty much, yes," I said. "When I want it, you also take it in. Got it, bitch?"_

_The Hylian in front of me shivered a little, and then he nodded with much fear in his eyes._

_Aw, this isn't how it's supposed to work!_

_But oh well. Nothing another lovemaking session won't correct._

_It'll have to wait, though. I think the new bitch who's guard is coming._

"_Hey, stop yapping in there and get to breakfast," she said matter-of-factly._

_Link finally stood up, and when the guards came on their first rounds to get the prisoners to breakfast, he was one of the first people out of there._

_Hey! Wait for me, you son of a bitch! We're supposed to be a couple!_

* * *

**Well, this seems like a rather nice place. Too bad I've heard plenty of bad lingo about it.**

**But eh. Ike's a nice guy. If he can handle it, I'm sure that I'll be able to do that as well.**

**And I don't think that I'm going to like my first meal here. It's all… pasty… I guess… I'm not sure. But whatever it is, it certainly doesn't look edible. In fact, I think there's something in the soup that's begging me not to eat it. I passed on that in the line anyways, so I think I'll be fine.**

**But this shit looks inedible! What is this?**

**Oh well. Go with the flow, Wolf.**

**I brought up the food to my mouth with this fork. I swear, that fork has rusting on the handle. Do these guys even clean their shit?**

**Probably not. But that's not going to keep me from eating it, now, is it?**

**And I think I was right about the food; it tastes like dog shit! But it's the only thing here, so I'm just going to gulp that shit down…**

"**Hey, you okay there?" I heard Ike ask me from my right.**

**Holy shit! When did you get there?**

**Oh, wait. That's right. You were already there.**

**Yep. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the fact that I get distracted.**

**I swallowed the shit that these guys decided to label food, and after that trial I turned to face Ike.**

"**This shit tastes really bad," I said. "How do you get used to it?"**

"**Good question," said Ike. "I'm not sure how I got used to it myself. Then again, my sister can't cook, so that probably helped matters a little."**

**Heh. His sister can't cook. Great source of humor.**

**I chuckled softly in response, and then I went back to my food.**

"**I see…" I said. "Anybody tried to get anything done about the cuisine here?"**

"**No," said Ike. "But I know for a fact that rats were found in the kitchen once."**

"**Really?" I asked.**

"**Yes," said Ike. "I'm surprised you're taking it as well as you are."**

"**Well, when you have to swat at cockroaches invading your own kitchen…" I said.**

"**Ah," responded Ike. "Makes sense."**

**I nodded in reply, and then out of the corner of my eye I noticed Link walking towards us.**

**I waited until he got behind Ike to say anything, though.**

"**Hey, Link," I said. "What's up?"**

"**I'm okay," said Link a little droopily. "You guys mind if I sit with you?"**

"**Of course not," said Ike. "Take a seat."**

**I think the Hylian was glad to oblige, for he quickly took his seat.**

"**So, who's your new cellmate?" asked Ike.**

"**Snake," responded Link.**

**Ike didn't seem troubled by anything, but I think that there was something strange in that tone. Perhaps anger? Sadness?**

**Eh. He's probably still going over his head about how he lost in the fight to get prisoners' rights and that shit. It'll get better as time goes by.**

"**Really?" asked my cellmate. "Well, that's rather good to hear!"**

"**Yeah," said Link. "It's okay, I guess."**

"**Knowing Snake, it probably is," said Ike. "You know, he's never talked about how he got here. It often makes me wonder what's really going on here…"**

"**Well, you never can tell," I interjected. "Some people can be real good when it comes to keeping secrets, and they like to keep them for some reasons that we can't seem to think of."**

**Hm. A little too elegant of me, I guess, but hey, if it works, it works.**

**I caught a glance from Link out of the corner of my eye. I don't know why he cast it, but apparently he's chiding us at something.**

**Okay, something's up here. Link looks like a nice guy, and through the afternoon that I met him he was really good about being friendly. Now? He's just fucking cynical. If something's not up, then it'll be a miracle.**

**  
"I guess…" said Link.**

**And as we ate, nothing much was said.**

**Link was much more vivacious yesterday. I don't know why Ike's not noticing anything.**

**But eh. In time, things will be revealed. They always are, after all.

* * *

**

Why me… Why me…?

Why did I have to be the one to get ra_p_ed?

This isn't fair! This isn't fair one bit! Dedede gets off of his denial of our rights scot free and here we are stuck in this hell hole! What's the world coming to?

Damn it. I don't care anymore.

I'd rather be alone right now. Which is why I'm sitting in my cell right now.

I don't want to have to deal with anything right now. I don't want to have to deal with Snake trying to rape me again. It's all the same messed up bullshit anyway. Why did I have to be a victim?

Oh, man. This world is messed up. Why does it have to be me? Why?

I mean, fine, I d_i_d something incredibly retarded. That's okay. But being stupid is not an excuse for me to get this kind of treatment!

It's not cool!

"Hey, you! Quit babbling to yourself!"

Huh? I was saying all that aloud?

I turned my face to the new bitch guard.

"Sorry," I said simply.

"Don't you 'sorry' me!" shouted that bitch. "The warden wants to see you. Chop chop!"

Aw, shit. I think I better comply…

So I stood up and followed her.

Simply put, this is fucked up. I don't know what's going on here , but I'll bet it's nothing good. Actually, I know that it's the warden we're talking about here, though…

But eh. I can't stand it anymore no matter what. I can't take much more of thi_s_…

"Hey, kid. I hope you had breakfast today!"

Aw, man. I'm here already?

Fucking penguin_s_. Should have known that they came in blue varieties.

I also don't like how he's dressed. I mean, what's up with the red cloak?

No matter. I'm in his offic_e_, and here I am.

"Why?" I asked. Damn, that's very vague!

"I wanted to talk to you about that," said Dedede. "Why did you provoke the guard in the kitchen the other day?"

"They get excited by smaller things," I replied.

Immediately I wis_h_ I hadn't said that, for then I felt a slap across my face.

"Bad answer!" shouted De_d_ede loudly. "Now tell me something else. Was your breakfast good?"

"No," I said. He's going to slap me again, isn't he?

Yep. I was right. That sting on my cheek came again.

"That's another bad answer! shouted Dedede. "Why are you giving me bad answers?"

"Because they're true?" I asked.

And I got slapped. Again.

"Guards!" shouted Dedede. "Get us some water!"

Water? Why _w_ater , of all things?

Eh. W_h_atever.

"Tell me, sir," said Dedede. "You know what happens to prisoners when they're naughty, right?"

"They get screwed over," I said. Oh Fayrore, I'm going to get slapped again.

To my great surprise, the penguin chuckled softly, delighted at my response.

"Finally," he said. "That's the first good response you've said all day. But since you're an interesting case, I thought I might give you some water!"

And the guards brought in the water.

Damn. Talk about being on cue.

I looked at m_y_ water, and shrugged, taking the glass and drinking of it.

Damn, it tastes horrible. But it's probably the only good water around here anyways. So I'll drink it anyway.

I thought I heard Dedede chuckle as I sipped the water, but I payed it no mind.

When I was finished, I laid it down on the desk.

"Anything else you wa_n_t to say?" I asked.

"I'm the one who asks questions here!" shouted Dedede. Damn, this guy's crazy in the head! "Anyways, what did you think of the water?"

"It was okay, I guess," I said, knowing that the other one would get me slapped.

But he slap_p_ed me anyways.

And that's when I noticed that I was getting queasy very quickly. What did I eat today?

"Bad answer!" I heard him say, but my mind wasn't all there anymore. Everything else that he said was all garbled and shit , and then the next thing I knew I was spewing out the contents of my stomach on the floor.

And only then did I realize that bad t_a_sting water indicated that my drink was spiked.


	11. Chapter 10

Hello, children. What's up?

Here, it's all good. I have the entire Brawl roster right now, actually. And yes, Wolf is indeed on the roster, and he's cool. Right now, my favorite character is Ike, though. I mean, his sword has super powers. I kid you not.

So I don't have much else. Let's get on with the chapter, shall we?

* * *

Chapter 10

_**Yes! I shall have my revenge!**_

_**Ever since that annoying son of a bitch entered the prison, he's been nothing but trouble. And now that I know what he's like, I get to show him who's boss.**_

_**Snake complied to having him in his cell. I actually knew what was going on in there between him and that annoying hedgehog, but did I tell anybody? No. And I'm certainly not going to bother anybody with the details now of all times. After all, why should I?**_

_**But still, it came in handy, because now I can punish whoever I want without getting the blame casted on me. Because after all, I'm not the one in there raping the shit out of every guy that I come across. So I'm free of guilt.**_

_**And seriously? I don't want to be like those mongrels who killed my parents; in fact, that's why I'm here. I need to punish every last motherfucker that fucks with society. So if they have a problem with me, they can all rot in hell with semen in their asses when they arrive at whichever circle they deserve to be in.**_

_**And if anybody opposes me, they'll get it good.**_

_**So now, I'll keep on playing games with Link's mind. I'll apply the pressure, and before I know it he'll be sorry he fucked with the justice system.**_

__

**Oh, boy this is going to be fun!**

* * *

Oh, man…

My dr_i_nk was spiked… How did that happe_n_?

How could this be happening to me, of all pe_o_ple? And how from the warden?

But why do I have so many questions? Why am I so confus_e_d? I should know what the answers are.

But I can't answ_e_r my own questions. How is this possible?

And how am I hearing a faint murmur that nobody els_e_ can hear? I heard somebody mumble something yesterday, and yet whe_n_ I asked, Ike looked at me and told me nobody had said anything. So whe_r_e did it come from?

I don't know.

But I can't tell anybody what's going on here. Snak_e_ will kill me if I tell about the rape, and Dede_d_e will kill me if I tell anybody about the spiked drink. Hell, I can't even tell Ik_e_ without running into trouble.

The only thing left to ask myself is this:

What is hap pening to me?

* * *

"**Well, you never know, Wolf. All sorts of things happen around here."**

"**I guess, but I haven't seen enough of them."**

"**Like, Link? Right now, he probably has a spring jutting out of his bed. And somebody else is eating a soup with maggots in it."**

"**Ooh boy. That bitch who framed me wasn't kidding when she said I wouldn't like it here."**

"**Yeah, she wasn't. Watch your step."**

**We both laughed a little bit after I said this.**

**Wolf and I are just sitting around in our cell right now, talking about a lot of things. He found out about the roaches that fall on me every night, but he's taking a different approach to it than Link did. This time, he's offering his own space on the bed, saying that sometimes the floor is more comfortable.**

**That is true, I guess, but still, I feel bad when people sleep on the floor, because it reminds me too much of what Mist and I would look like if we were on the streets.**

"**Yeah," said Wolf. "You know, I've noticed something odd about Link. Lately, he's been…"**

"**Withdrawn?" I asked. "I've noticed it too."**

**Yeah. Link's been acting strange lately. Lately, he's been keeping to himself and avoiding even me all the time. And when I am around, he sometimes darts his head randomly and asks the air if he thought that was what so-and-so said. I'd have to get him to snap out of it because nobody speaks at all when he asks that.**

"**And crazed," said Wolf. "I dunno what's going on here, but something's not right with him."**

"**Do you think we should ask?" I asked.**

"**Knowing how he is right now, this would be a bad time to ask," said my lupine friend.**

"**What?" I asked. "Why?"**

"**Because then he'll withdraw even more if we do," said Wolf. "And if that happens, we won't know for sure. Trust me on this; I know what I'm saying."**

"**Okay, I won't ask," I said a little hurriedly. "Still, I feel bad for him. I feel insensitive. I mean, he's one of the best friends I have in this place, and…"**

"**I know how you feel," said Wolf. "I'm just trying to think of what's best for him. And I'm no psychologist either, but I still think we need to watch our step."**

"**True," I said. "And what if it's something that he can't tell us?"**

"**That too," said Wolf. "That's kind of why I say avoid his withdrawal for a bit; we might hurt him without intending to, and he'll get worse still."**

"**Yeah," I replied, nodding my head in agreement. "But oh, man. I feel there is something else we need to do to help him…"**

"**We should wait and see," said Wolf. "How's your sister Mist doing?"**

"**I have no idea," I said, the image of my sister running around suddenly popping in my head. "She hasn't even visited me at all."**

"**Wow," said Wolf. "Your sister must hate you!"**

"**Actually, it's probably not her fault," I replied. "I know how Rolf's uncle is; he's a son of a bitch."**

**I chuckled nervously after this. And to think that I would be mentally slapping myself for swearing two months ago; now I use those words whenever I want.  
**

"**Right," said Wolf. "But you never can tell."**

**I nodded in agreement, and the conversation went on from there.**

* * *

**Hey, isn't that Link over there?**

**My goodness. He's sitting on the weight bench all alone, and he's just sitting there doing nothing. Not good. He's probably brooding again.**

**Eh. I don't think I should say anything. Better not to disturb him from his train of thought, right?**

**And I can't say anything to anybody else, either, since there's nobody else here but the two of us. Oh well. I guess I should keep it in now.**

**So I'm sitting here, curling the dumbbells to my satisfaction. I have a damn fine build, and if I can't keep it up I won't be seen as that popular. I mean, if the girls down at Hickory Street know anything, they know what a good man is. And if they're all over me even if I don't want them to be all over me, then that's got to say something.**

**At least here it's easier to keep a great build; after all, there's really nothing else to do other than work out relentlessly. I wonder what the girls at Hickory Street are going to say…**

**I couldn't help but inwardly laugh at myself about that. That bitch who framed me really got me into looking better for those girls.**

**Ugh, I hate being the hypocrite here. Problem is, those girls don't know when to get the fuck off of a guy when he wants you to. Don't they call it bestiality or something?**

**I know that's why that bitch framed me; she knew her girls were raping me because I was hot. That, and she was one of those super anti-bestiality types that would go to the KKK if it was still prominent.**

**But still, I have my own doubts about the act anyways. I don't know why I'm working to make them pleased at all.**

**Maybe I ought to get the fuck off of this island once I get out of jail, and then maybe return to the Lyatt system. But I'm not wanted there, either; Star Wolf was infamous over there. So where do I go?**

**Ah, damn it. I think I'll just have to return to Lyatt; no matter where I go, I guess I'll have some bad rep after me.**

"**Hey! You! Get off that bench!"**

**I couldn't help but notice that it was the guards. They're yelling at Link now? Why? He's just sitting there, minding his own business. If I don't bother him, I don't see why you should bother him either.**

**I thought I heard the Hylian mutter something in response. I don't know what the hell he said, though.**

"**I don't care if you're thinking," said the guard. "We tell you to get off the bench, you get off the bench."**

**More murmuring. I'd probably have punched that son of a bitch by now, though. I mean, I'm not going to let some skinny son of a bitch order me to get off the bench. Fine, they have more authority than I do. That doesn't excuse them from the fact that they can't use their authority to do whatever the fuck they want with me.**

**And then I'd go to the under-there. But that's okay, because I'm not going to have anybody talking down to me like that.**

**And then, I heard somebody getting hit. The entire time I had my head turned away, drawing an image in my mind of somebody talking to somebody else who was busy brooding.**

**No sooner had I turned my head when a crashing sound came from the bench falling over.**

**And then, the guard was all over Link, his fists sailing down onto Link's face. I kept on hearing groans of pain coming from the one getting the beating, and I wonder how many bruises there are.**

**My goodness. They beat people up for sitting in places?**

**Okay, that does it. You're not trampling on the rights of my friends or myself.**

**So I walked over there, intending to go there and talk the guard out of beating Link.**

**Only problem is that when I walked over there, he abruptly stood up as if he had known that I was there the entire time. The beating promptly stopped, and the guard gave me a death glare.**

"**If you tell anybody, you're fucked," said the guard, anger flaring in his voice.**

"**And I'm supposed to be intimidated, how?" I asked calmly.**

**He stood there for a second, the death glare still on my being.**

"**Because we are the law," he said, before promptly leaving.**

**The entire time, I just stood there with as calm an expression as I could muster.**

**I mean, I'm offended here. People willingly trample on rights, and the only time that somebody gets the opportunity to make things right, somebody comes along and screws it all over.**

**It's pissing me off!**

**So I guess that's what's going on; they're punishing Link for trying to get these guys their rights. That sucks.**

**But there's probably more to it than that. I mean, with a statement like that, who knows what's going on behind locked doors.**

**I didn't say anything about it when I looked at Link, though. Man, he's crying his ass off. Poor thing. I can't say I blame him, actually.**

"**Hey," I said, kneeling down so that he could see my face. "You okay there?"**

**He shook his head and mumbled something. I don't know what he's saying, but I don't think I should leave him.**

"**Hey," I said once again, putting a hand on his shoulder. "What about I take you to the restroom and get some water on your face? Does that sound good?"**

**Link looked up at me, and for the first time I actually saw how bright those blue eyes shine. It's sad, though, because he's sad.**

**He nodded after a brief eye contact.**

"**Okay," I said, offering a hand to him that he only gladly took.**

**As we sauntered off to the restroom, I couldn't help but think about what they might be doing to him behind locked doors? Are they giving him poisoned food? Are they violating him? Are they making him bleed?**

**Whatever it is, though, I think I better step back. Then, I'll take over and do whatever is right to get justice here.**


	12. Chapter 11

Hello, everybody! How are you today?

So, my parents are parading for the end of my years on this site, so I'm going to have to get this one out of the way as soon as possible. Hence, why I wrote up this entire chapter in ONE SITTING! Seriously, I can't concentrate enough on this stuff through multiple sittings; how the hell am I supposed to create something coherent in one sitting? But I think I did it, so behold!

Nevertheless, major developments occur in this chapter. Next chapter will definitely be some filler, as you'll hear from Sonic again, but for now, know that it's pretty much downhill from the end of the chapter.

Oh, and be warned; there is a graphic description of clubbing somebody to death with a weight at the end of the chapter. If you're all for that stuff, go ahead. If not, don't say I didn't warn you when you get scarred for life, because I did.

And also, you'll be wondering something else; by the time you get halfway through Link's POV thing, you'll probably be asking yourself this; "What the hell is going on here?" I know. I'll get to that next chapter, but for now, I'll let you guys guess in your reviews.

So you know the rest. Here's the chapter, and enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 11

"**What? You have to be kidding me!"**

"**I wish I was, Ike. But I think there's something else."**

**Oh, no. Wolf, why the hell did you have to tell me this now? Why Link?**

**But oh well. He was the only one there, so he has to be the one to tell me. Naturally, it's evil: I mean, what the hell? These guys are doing all sorts of crap to him just to get back at him? Ugh.**

**The warden disgusts me. I can't believe that a guy like him is allowed to run this place! He needs to be shot. Several times, I might add.**

**And there could be more, too. What's up now?**

"**Something else?" I asked. "What is it?"**

"**I've been talking with a guy who lives a few cells away from Link," said Wolf in reply. "Apparently, he and Snake have been doing things behind their bars in the middle of the night. And according to this friend of mine, one of them is not liking whatever is going on in there…"**

"**Link?" I asked. Oh, why am I asking anyways?**

"**Yeah," said Wolf. "So we should make our move now that we know something fishy's going on here…"**

"**I know what you mean," I replied. "It's even better, because I'm supposed to get out of here in three days."**

"**Really?" asked Wolf, perking his head to the side in curiosity.**

"**Yes," I said plainly. Oh, man, I can imagine the scene now; Mist and Rolf waiting in the visitor's room for me with Shinon looking at me like I just did something stupid. I'd ask where Gatrie is, and they'd say he's gone off shopping as he usually does. And Boyd and Oscar would be there, too! When I ask Mist if she hates me, how happy I would be if she would say no! And it would all be good again.**

**Except for Link. That will be what tarnishes the scene; I can't just leave him here to fend for himself. He'll be a nagging doubt in my mind until I do something to help him…**

"**So we need to get to work fast," said Wolf. "You want to find Link?"**

"**Sure," I said, jumping out of the bed and heading to the door of our cell. "Come on!"**

**I bolted out of the cell door, my lupine buddy following me as we looked for Link.**

* * *

_All right! Where is that bastard?_

_I've been looking all over the place for him, and yet I can't find him! I've checked the restrooms, the mess hall, our cell, Ike's cell, even the visitor's rooms! But I can't find him!_

_And he's going to pay for it with some really rough fucking tonight! Oh, I can imagine him yelling at me for thrusting in there harder than I should, yet it's what I call a good punishment._

_As Egavas Nad always says, punish the motherfucker when they don't like you!_

_That's just what I'm going to do._

_Once I find him, that is…_

* * *

Why…? Why…?

The wei ght in my hands means not hing to me… Why? Why?

They rape me… they beat me… they spea k sweet phrases a nd turn their backs on m e.

W_h_at on **e**arth is going on here? Why am I trea ted this way? Wher e was I last?

What _a_m I doing **h**ere, of all places to be? Why di d it have to be me?

I'm just si tting here, minding my o_w_n business! I ne ver did anyt**h**ing wrong! Why me?

Ugh…

"Hey, Link! There you are!"

Ike… Don't get near me… I am cur sed…

And why is that w olf with you? Get him away!

"Listen, Link," began my f riend. "We need to ask you something. What's going on?"

A murm ur.

I don't under stan d what you're saying! Sp_e_ak louder!

"Link?" asked Wolf. "Are you okay?"

Did I just say t hat out loud?

"Please…" I said. "Leave me…"

"Leave you?" asked Ike. "Why would we do that?"

Another mur mur.

Leave me alone! I can't hear you!

"Link, calm down!" said Ike. "You're babbling!"

Did I s ay that out loud, too?

…es…

What in? Ganond orf?

What are you doi **n**g here?

"Ganondorf? Who's Ganondorf?" asked Ike.

"Leave me!" I shouted. "Leave me! That snake that sits in my cell rapes me!"

…ad mov…

"Snake rapes you every night in there?" asked Wolf. "Dude, that's serious!"

Oh, no. I just gave it a way!

"We'll get you some help, okay, Link?" asked Ike.

… evil… you… in area…

The footsteps come near… St ay away!

"Link?" asked Ike once again.

"Get out of here…" I said.

"What?" asked Ike.

"Link! There you are!"

…e's here…

Shit. It's Snake.

"Link," said m y cell_m_ ate. "Come here with me. We need to talk."

"As far as we're concerned, you two don't have to talk about shit," said Wolf.

Ike… Wolf… Get out of my w ay!

"And why not?" asked Snake.

"We know what you're doing," said Ike. "We know about the rape. He just told us so a few seconds ago."

..Run, bo…

Silen ce.

Then, Snake grabbed the w eight.

"Damn it, Link!" said Snake. "Did you think I was kidding when I said I would kill you!"

"Shit! Ike, Link, we've gotta run!" That was W olf…

With out me, my body m oved…

..ster, you bast…

I ran. I ran fast.

Sna ke went around swing ing the **w**eight. We all do dged it.

"Link!" shouted Wolf. "Look out!"

Snake is behind me. He is h olding the weight up.

Shit!

I was shoved.

I hit the gr ound.

* * *

"**Ike! No!"**

**Aw, shit! You can't be doing this, you son of a bitch!**

**I watched helplessly as Ike got beaten by the weight Snake was holding. Link had gotten too close to Snake for his own safety, and then Ike shoved him out of the way.**

**And then that stupid son of a bitch whose name is Snake went in and banged Ike's head against a machine!**

**And now, I have to watch as Snake repeatedly beats Ike in the head.**

**Ugh, all the blood! The blood! And that pink stuff! Oh, God, that pink stuff! The stuff has to be his brain; it's coming out of Ike's head! And it keeps coming out when Snake beats Ike on the head. **

**From that moment on, I knew that he was dead.**

**Almost without thinking, I backed away as Snake looked at me with a deranged expression on his face. Oh, God! I can't believe it! Ike's face isn't Ike anymore; why are his eyes out of his sockets? What is that string holding the eyes outside of the sockets? And oh my god, **_**why**_** is his face all mangled and shit? This is unbelievable! Ike can't be dead!**

"**Hey, you! What do you think you're doing?"**

**Ah, man. That's the only time that I think the guards are doing something right here.**

**And indeed, I saw them running up to Snake and binding him. The guards turn to me, giving me a few glares.**

"**What happened?" asked one of the guards.**

**I couldn't reply. I'm just too shocked.**

**Ike's dead. Link just noticed it. Snake looks like he wants to kill me. The weight that Snake used is lying next to Ike's body, lost from his hands after the guards had seized him. And what am I supposed to do now?**

"**Well?" asked the guards. "Are we going to have to beat the information out of you?"**

**Damn it! Why won't my mouth fucking open? Why?**

"**Listen, you son of a bitch!" shouted one of the guards. "I'm talking to you! Answer my fucking question before—!"**

**And all hell broke loose.**

**Before anybody could say anything more, Link let out a yell, grabbed the weight by Ike's body, and rushed at Snake. The guards, too concerned about themselves to care, ran out of the way, and Link slammed the weight againt's Snake's face. After Snake fell to the floor, Link brought the weight down on Snake's head at least three times, and within a few seconds the guards had rushed back in to take Link captive.**

"**Listen here, mister!" shouted one of the guards. "We don't approve of people murdering in this prison, all right?" **

**The guard slapped Link in the face really fucking hard.**

"**Now follow us," said another guard. "You're going to the under there, and you're not coming out for a while!"**

**And they led him off.**

**I just stood there, too shocked to move. When the other inmates slowly began to file in a few seconds later wondering what all the commotion was about, they stood there shocked at the sight. The bloodied weight was dropped besides Snake's body, which was too far from me for me to be suspected. But still, Ike and Snake's brains were scattered all over the place! And the pools of blood were spreading along the tile, as if there was nothing holding the blood back.**

"'**ey," said one of the inmates, walking up to me from behind. "What 'appened 'ere?"**

**Aw, no. This isn't real! Snake and Ike aren't dead!**

**But I wouldn't be able to feel the sharp feeling of queasiness that's working it's way up my stomach if this was a dream, right?**

**I just sank to my knees, and my hands instinctively grabbed my head. And I let the first tears fall down my fur-covered cheeks as I let out as loud of a yell as I could muster.**


	13. Chapter 12

Hello, all. I got back from my school's Grad Weekend. It was fun. Disney Grad Nite is okay, I guess.

And also, here's the next chapter. Here's Sonic's chapter. And yes, I know the ending's awkward, but it's Sunday, I'm here much later than my standard bedtime, and it's crazy to say the least. I should be getting more rest.

So here's the chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 12

"_You know, Sonic? You always did make me giggle whenever you would do that with your feet."_

"_Really? That's another thing on your list of things you missed about me, then!"_

"_Oh, Sonic! Don't be so silly!"_

"_I know! I'm kidding!"_

"_I know you are, sweetie. But in a way, it's true…"_

_Well, Ames and I got back together after all that shebang in the jail. My parents refused to take me back in the house, and with nowhere else to go Ames figured I could stay with her. So basically, I've been hanging out with her a lot, taking photos and selling prints on to help pay my share of the rent (thank goodness I had experience with making prints in school). We've also been dating a lot. And we've been doing it a lot too. I wonder where Ames got all the condoms from…_

_And right now, we're out to dinner somewhere. It was our favorite hanging spot in school, so we figured we'd go there again as we always did. The waiters knew who we were, and they knew that I liked to put my left foot on one of the chairs until the food arrived, which meant that I got to show Ames my super-fast foot circulation that she used to love so much before I was sent to the slammer._

_We've gotten our relationship patched up, too, so it's all good._

"_Yeah," I said. "I also wonder where our food is right now…"_

_And as if on cue, somebody came in with a bunch of plates. They always gave us the same table outside of the restaurant every time, so I knew what to look out for even though my memory was a little dim. Ames noticed, and she looked at the waiter who was bringing in the food._

"_All right," said the waiter. "I have a lobster linguini here…"_

"_That's for me," I said, raising my hand and removing my foot from the chair. The plate was promptly placed down in front of me, and then he placed the other plate in front of Ames._

"_Enjoy your meal, you two," said the waiter._

"_Thank you," Ames and I both said at the same time._

_As soon as the waiter left, we both giggled lightly at what we did and got to eating our food. Man, I haven't felt the taste of lobster or good pasta in my mouth for ages. It's fuckloads better than what we had in the slammer, I swear to God. Thank goodness Ames got me out of there; I think I'm actually feeling better now that I'm getting back to eating food that everybody else eats._

"_Say, Sonic," said Ames as she finished a bite around fifteen minutes after we got our food. "I wonder; did they give any food like this out in the prisons?"_

_I was in the middle of a mouthful, so I lifted my finger up indicatively and finished my bite. Ames knows me the way I know her, so she'll understand that I'm trying not to be rude._

"_You bet they did not," I said. "And besides, you heard the stories. Man, those were some crazy days…"_

"_I would say," said Ames, nodding as she did. "I'm not hungry any more."_

"_Neither am I," I said, and I knew that we were both saying it because we really couldn't take any more food in our stomachs. "You want me to call the waiter over?"_

"_Sure," said Ames. "You know, I've been thinking for the past three days; how was your former cellmate to you?"_

"_I'm not opening my mouth about that," I said as I saw the waiter and flagged him down. "You know I don't want to talk about that. The bill, please," I added as the waiter came up to the table. He left after I told him about the bill._

"_Well, I think you can open up now," said Ames. "You should have seen the morning newspaper two days ago."_

"_What?" I asked. This is new. "What happened?"_

"_Apparently, your former cellmate died in the prisons yesterday," she said._

_Wait, is she serious? Is Snake really dead?_

"_My God!" I exclaimed, leaning forwards. Now I'm _really_ curious. "What happened?"_

"_Well, it goes like this," replied Ames. "Basically, the Link guy that got the abuse into the newspapers let out that he was being raped by your former cellmate, and the cellmate tried to kill Link. Long story short, somebody else got killed, and Link went berserk on your cellmate and killed him in retaliation."_

_Wait, Link was raped too? Aw, shit! I can't believe this! He was Snake's cellmate too? Damn it! Why couldn't he have gone to some other son of a bitch?_

_Eh. The warden determines who goes where, so it's not my fault. Phew._

"_So he was raped?" I asked. "And you're thinking that…?"_

"…_You might have gotten the same treatment by your former cellmate," continued Ames. "Well?"_

_I sighed. Oh dear, the admittance is never easy, is it?_

"_Well, yes I was raped," I said. Short, simple, and to the point._

_There was a short pause after I said this. The waiter came by and dropped the bill off, and Ames thanking him was the only sound either of us made for a while as she placed her credit card into the bill and gave it back to the waiter._

"_So are you mad?" I asked, my expression drooping a little in anxiety. Damn it, I knew I should have waited._

"_Well, let me put it this way," said Ames, her expression a little serious yet gracious as well. (That's a good sign.) "You couldn't control his sexual urges. Plus, I looked up his record, and it turns out he was a serial rapist before he got caught and was sent to jail. So really, I can't get mad at you for something that's not in your control, now, can I?"_

"_That's true," I said, smiling and taking her hand in mine. "But still…"_

"_I know," said Ames. "Don't worry about it. I still love you."_

_I looked at my girlfriend, the light glinting off of the emeralds of her eyes, and I smiled as the waiter left the bill in front of me._

* * *

_Man, I love walking around Bunbury Lane late at night with Ames. I mean, it's such a great street; it's not too dark, but it's not too crowded either. There are alleyways all over the place, but still, it's not so bad at this time of night since the crime rate is relatively low. (Damn, I've never cared about _that_ until recently.). It's a little chilly, but it's nothing that either of us can't handle. _

_We don't tend to say anything whenever we walk around a little, but the silence works wonders for us. It says everything that needs to be said, and we don't have to move our mouths one inch._

_So much the better for me. I like looking at Ames when she's smiling._

_Something feels odd about tonight, though. I mean, I feel like somebody's been following me the entire way home. But eh, it might just be me._

_So I'll just keep on walking and—_

"_Hey! Get back here, you twit!"_

_And before I could even ask anything else, Ames ran off, dragging me behind her as she chased a small little brunette girl that was holding something that was probably mine._

_As I ran, I went quickly through the pockets of my jeans, finding that the camera that I had always taken on artistic excursions had been stolen._

_Aw, of all the shit-faced times for this to be happening!_

_So Ames kept following her down the street, and we passed so many storefronts that I was kind of surprised that the police weren't doing anything about it. (And I know that Dedede has no control over that, so how could bystanders be so careless and let that little girl get away with my fucking camera?) I'm kind of glad there's nobody here at this hour, actually; I mean, they could call the cops, but then they'd also get in the way. But eh, the cops are better help than anything unless you're the one getting busted. I know how that feels._

_And finally, the little girl ran into an alleyway, Ames following and tripping right over the little girl as I skidded to a stop past her. I managed to swipe my camera back from her surprisingly frail hands as I noticed that the girl must have tripped over a rock._

_But that little girl was a persistent little bugger. No sooner had I gotten my camera back than she had jumped up and started chasing me._

_Aw, shit! She's going to get me!_

_I think the adrenaline proved to be a little too much, because then I ran up the side of the building to the bottom of the fire escape. How the hell did that happen?_

"_Hey!" I shouted. "Keep your hands to yourself!"_

_Amy tried to grab the girl to hold her down, but the little girl swatted away the hand that was trying to grip her. She stepped back a little, Amy's cold stare poking needles in her. (Yeah, it was definitely the 'I'm trying to kill you with my mind' stare. That stare scares the shit out of me whenever she gives it to me.)_

"_Okay, look little girl," said Amy. "What do you hope to accomplish by stealing his camera, hm?"_

"_I… I…"_

_Poor girl. She's too scared to move, I guess._

_And then, Ames started advancing on the girl (Ames is usually a nice girl, but whenever she gets pissed off she can be a real bitch. I'm not kidding.), and for a brief moment I saw the girl's eyes._

_Hm…_

_I feel like I've seen that specific shade of blue on somebody else's eyes. But who?_

"_Well, little girl, you could have ruined his life!" she shouted, banging on one of those tin garbage cans. "He has a criminal record, and he can't get a job! That's the only way he makes money! How do you suppose he would move on if he had his means taken away from him? You'll send him here too!"_

"_But I--!" the girl retaliated, tears streaming down her face._

_"Don't give me any buts!" shouted Ames. "You know I'm right!"_

"_Ames, calm down," I called from the fire escape. "There's no need to scare her."_

_She was very frustrated visibly, for one could see the huffing and puffing of her shoulders for a bit before she took a deep breath._

"_Just, don't try to steal," she said. "And what's a little girl like you doing on the streets anyways? You shouldn't be out here right now. I think we'll have to take you home. Come on, Sonic! We're showing her back to her house!"_

_I leapt over the rail of the fire escape and onto the ground, but no sooner had Amy grabbed her hand than it got slapped away. It was then that I noticed that her clothes didn't exactly look like she had been on the streets for years._

"_No!" shouted the little girl. "You're not taking me back!"_

"_Oh, but of course you're going back," I said. "I'll bet your mom is scared shitless right now, and I'll bet the rest of your family is scared shitless as well. Whether you like it or not, you're going back."_

_Amy gave me a 'what the hell are you doing' glare (probably for swearing, but hey, if it gets the job done, that's all that matters), and then the girl stepped farther back._

"_You can take me to an address, but my _friend's uncle_ won't be very nice!" she said._

"_Friend's uncle?" asked Ames. "Why would you be there?"_

"_Because it's the only place I can go besides the orphanage!" she shouted, the tears beginning once again. "Mom and dad both died, and my brother was sent to jail! And did he get out of it? No! And did this friend's uncle ever let me visit him? No! So leave me alone!"_

_Wait, her brother?_

_Aw, damn it! _That's_ what I remember the eyes from!_

_This is Ike's sister! What was her name again?_

"_But they probably couldn't," said Ames. "And I'm sure that your brother would be very sad right now if he saw you around like this. So please, let us take you home."_

"_But he won't ever know!" shouted the little girl, finally losing it and tripping on her shoelaces trying to slap Ames in the face. "He's dead! And I never got to see him to tell him that I still cared for him! And my brother probably hates me forever now! And it's all his fault!"_

_She slumped on the floor and cried afterwards._

_Wait. When you cry, you cry tears. Tears are made of water. Water makes up…_

_Mist! That was her name! I knew it had something to do with water!_

_I walked up to her slowly, now realizing that it was in my hands to convince her to go home._

"_Hey," I said, kneeling down and taping her shoulder._

_She shied away from me as she cried into the concrete of the alley._

_I sighed._

"_Mist, look. I—"_

"_How do you know my name?" she asked, her head rising a little as she asked me._

_I stalled for a few seconds, Amy staring at me with shock flying all over those jade orbs of hers._

"_Your brother's name was Ike, right?" I asked. "I knew him when I was in the slammer."_

_She looked up at me._

"_He must have hated me…" she said, her head returning to the ground._

_There was a short pause, Mist's sniffling being the only thing to break the silence. I looked to Amy for help. She motioned for me to get on with it, and I knew that I had the floor. So, I looked down at her and placed a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at me, the sapphire orbs shining with a great sadness that is really hard to come across._

"_Mist, Ike didn't hate you," I began. "I never heard him talk about it myself, but I was told by a friend of his that he would always pray to the goddess that you believe in that you didn't hate him for doing what he did. He never once said anything bad about you even though you didn't visit him at all. Mist, your brother doesn't hate you. I'll bet that right now, he's crying in wherever all of the good people go when they die because he never got to say goodbye to his sister that he loved so much."_

"_Did he really say good things about me?" she asked after a slight pause._

"_Absolutely," I said. "My best friend in the cells would tell me about how much he loved you."_

_Mist finally got up off the floor, brushing the dust off of her clothes that had gotten there during her time on the floor._

_And then, she looked at me, a smile on her face and the tears taking on a different tone._

"_Thank you for telling me…" she said. "You have no idea how happy that makes me."_

"_Hey," I said, draping an arm around her shoulder. "I'm pretty sure that he'd want you to know. You know what I mean?"_

_Mist nodded._

"_But I don't know if I want to go back…" she said before I could say anything else. "I don't think I could take how oppressive he can be sometimes."_

_It was then that Ames walked forwards. Oh man, she's calmed down quite a bit._

"_Well, the best thing to do about him is to grin and bear it," said Amy. "It takes a lot of time to get used to, but trust me, it works."_

_The little girl nodded once again._

"_Thank you both…" said Mist._

"_You're welcome," I said, standing up. "Are you ready to go?"_

"_Yes," said Mist, standing up._

_We were just about to exit the alleyway when we heard Mist jump up and gasp._

"_Oh my goodness!" she cried. "Here you are, being nice people and taking me home and I don't even know your names!"_

_Ames and I both gave each other 'ah, dear' looks before looking back at her._

"_That's… true…" I said, nervously rubbing the quills on my head. "My name is Sonic."_

"_And I'm Amy," said my girlfriend._

"_And speaking of introductions, where _do_ you live?" I asked._

"_Well, from here I can get you there in no time," she said. "Follow me."_

_She took my hand, I took Ames', and we both walked out of the alleyway and back onto the streets._

* * *

_The apartment turned out to be on 99__th__ Street. In other words, the middle class edging towards lower class side of town. In a way, I kind of understand where this friend's uncle of hers is coming from; I mean, I'd be trying to save as much as I could if I lived close to bankruptcy. Still, I wouldn't be that much of an asshole, and I'd provide as many visits to the slammer as I could with the kind of cash that I made._

_It was actually the fourth floor of the building that the apartment stood in, but even then the view wasn't that great from the stairwells. I mean, I got a view of a garbage dumpster from there. That sucks, if you ask me._

_So Mist led us to the front door of her apartment, and she looked at Ames and I, asking if we would be by her side. After nodding reassuringly, she smiled, turned to face the door, and knocked._

_For a few seconds, we didn't hear anything. The first thing I heard from behind the door was something approximating to 'who the hell knocks on doors this late at night'. I don't remember exactly what the voice said, but a few minutes later I heard a whole mess of voices wondering what was going on._

_And finally, the door opened. A rather bulky olive-haired teenager in boxers looked out of the door for a few seconds, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and literally giving a double take when he saw Mist._

"_Oh my sweet Ashera!" he shouted, before his face went behind the door. "Uncle Shinon! Oscar! Rolf! Mist's back!"_

"_What?" I heard an adult male voice call out._

_I heard a hubbub, and then a whole congregation of guys came out from behind the door. The one all the way in the back was a rather tall man in around his thirties with long scarlet hair that ran down his shoulders. In front of him was another green haired teenager, slightly older than the one that had opened the door and with squinted eyes such that I couldn't tell the color of his eyes. The smallest one had lime-colored hair (What is it with everybody having green hair around here?), and he pretty much looked like the most innocent one in the bunch. All of their eyes bulged rather wide._

"_Mist!" shouted the little one, literally jumping onto Mist in his joy. "You're back!"_

"_Rolf, calm down," said the man with the red hair as sternly and quietly as he could. "You'll wake up the neighbors."_

_Ames and I looked at each other. Dang, this guy means well. He just comes across as a rough guy…_

_I could barely make out Mist whispering something to Rolf before he got up off the ground._

"_Sorry," he whispered._

"_Rolf!" she said, hugging the boy again. "Boyd! Oscar!"_

"_It's great to see you again!" said the bulky teenager. "We missed you!"_

_I shook my head. Great. The damsel gets all the attention, but the knight in shining armor gets no attention? Give me a break._

_I brought up my hand to my mouth, and before Ames could say anything about how it was impolite to cough to get people's attention, I let out a short little cough that sent four pairs of emeralds and one pair of sapphires staring right at me._

"_And who're you?" asked the red-head._

"_Oh!" said Mist, walking up to us. "Uncle Shinon, this is Sonic and Amy. They walked me back here!"_

"_You did?" asked the redhead, his eyes finally showing some expression._

"_Yeah," I said. "It's a long story, but at the end of it we wound up escorting her back home."_

"_Really?" asked the squinty-eyed one. "Well, you receive all of our gratitude for getting her back here."_

"_Hey, nothing to it," said Ames. "Just another case of people making other people's lives better."_

"_Thanks," said Shinon. "You can step into the house if you'd like."_

"_Oh, no, that's okay," I said. "We should probably be getting home soon."_

"_I see," said Shinon. "But still, maybe a little something to eat or drink?"_

"_Well, I don't see why not," said Ames. "Come on, Sonic."_

_The lot of us walked into the apartment. The furniture and appliances were all pretty simple, and the table looked like it desperately needed repair. We sat down at the table, and Shinon walked over to the refrigerator that stood by one of the doorways in the apartment._

"_Waters for the booth of you?" he asked._

_We both nodded simultaneously._

_Shinon opened the refrigerator door and got two bottles of water._

"_Heads up!" he said to the bulky teenager before tossing both bottles of water at him. From there, the guy gave us the bottles._

"_We do that quite a bit around here," he said. "The name's Boyd, by the way."_

"_And I'm Oscar," said the squinty-eyed teenager as he sat next to me at the table. "I know this isn't much, but it's the best we can do."_

"_Don't worry about it," I said, waving my hand dismissively. "I've seen much worse. Trust me, you don't want to know."_

"_Okay," said Shinon, also sitting down at the table. "Rolf, get back in bed."_

"_Yes, Uncle Shinon," said the little green-haired kid that tackled Mist in the hallway as he walked back behind the doorway that was right next to the fridge.._

"_So, how did you to run into her?" asked Shinon._

_I opened my mouth to say something before I felt Ames tap me on the arm. I knew that I had to shut up from there, so I closed my mouth._

"_We'd rather not go into details," said Ames. "But long story short, we had a large argument in an alleyway before we got her to come back home."_

"_Right," said Boyd, sitting down. Mist climbed into his lap a few seconds later._

"_And I'm pretty sure Mist has something to say to you before she goes to bed," I added._

_It was true, actually; on the way back, I had given her a lecture of sorts about how running away didn't solve anything. I had told her what to say on the way back, too, so we should be fine._

"_And what would that be?" asked Oscar, his expression turning to meet Mist's._

"_I…" she began. "I'm sorry for running away. I just…"_

_Shinon patted Mist on the shoulder lovingly._

"_Hey, don't worry about it," he said. "I should be the one apologizing here. I should've just taken you to see Ike. I'm sorry."_

_Aha. Humility. There we go._

_And nothing much was said as I opened my water bottle and started drinking. Ames did basically the same thing as Mist clambered off of Boyd's lap and walked up to Shinon, the two of them engaging in a hug shortly afterwards._

_After they parted, Shinon looked at Mist._

"_Now, I think you should probably get to bed sometime within the next six minutes, yes?" asked Shinon._

"_Yes Uncle Shinon," said the girl, yawning a little as she said it._

_She walked up to Ames and I first._

"_Will you keep in touch?" asked Mist._

"_Sure," I said. "I just need a number and—."_

"_Easily fixed," said Oscar, grabbing a notepad and a pen, writing a number on it and handing it to me._

"_Okay," said Sonic. "If you want to talk to us about anything, be sure to give us a call, okay?"_

"_Okay," said Mist. "Thank you, sir."_

"_Oh, call me Sonic!" I said jokingly. "You're welcome."_

_Mist smiled a bit, and she went into the same room Rolf went into._

_We looked back at Shinon, and then we talked about our lives for another twenty minutes or so. At one point, Boyd and Oscar were both sent to bed, and then it was just us for the rest of the time. Shinon saw us off to the door, and then with a smile that only a genuinely good man could muster, he thanked us once again for getting Mist back home and closed the door._

_I hope Mist is all right. Because she sure has a fine set of folks that care for her._


	14. Chapter 13

Hello, children. I'm back with this chapter, as usual.

So, I'm going to school in Boston. It's official. :D

And yeah, I couldn't feel better now.

As a warning: What Link says is going to get really wierd, since spaces are put in the middle of words or words are joined together at awkward points. In short, expect the brief blocks of non-plain text to be the only coherent things in Link's mind pretty soon. Hey, I'm doing it for a reason. You'll see why later.

Here's the chapter. I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 13

Th is is un eal…

Wher e am I…?

Where do you think you are, you idiot? You're down there!

What do you mea n…?

You're down there! You killed that son of a bitch! You go down here, remember?

Do n't yel l at me…

What are you talking about, yelling at you? Nobody can hear me down here.

It's no t my fa ult th at you c an' t be he ar d by any bo dy else dow n here…

Well, of course not! I'm not really here right now.

…_Anond… …a poi…_

Oh, ma n. An oth er one. Ma rth? Wh at are yo u doin g h ere?

…_ou shou… …he ans… …hat ques…_

Oh, no. No t ano ther one!

Relax, man! You really need to calm down, you know that? It's not like we mean any harm. Unlike you…

Oh, n o… I h ate yo u all!

…_n't ha… _

But yo u al l hat ed me back w hen I was fr ee…

Because you were being an ass.

…_hat Ganondor… _

But I… O h…

W hy di d I try to k ill h im? W hy? Wh y am I i n thi s hel l-h ole?

* * *

_**Ah. The tables turn yet again! And they turn in a wonderful direction, too…**_

_**Oh, this is too amusing. In a matter of days, Link will learn his proper place!**_

_**Oh, man. I can barely wait for that day to happen.**_

_**But eh, what am I dreaming for? I need to get back to planning here. And dealing with 'complaints', of course.**_

_**So then one of my guards came in.**_

"_**Mr. Dedede?" he asked.**_

"_**Yes?" I asked him back. "What is it?"**_

"_**Mr. Link, sir," said the guard. "When do we bring him up here next?"**_

"_**Whenever I say so," I replied.**_

"_**Well, sir, I hope that 'whenever you say so' happens soon…" said the guard. "I think that son of a bitch needs to be taught a lesson for messing with us."**_

"_**I am glad you agree with me," I said. "After all, anybody who asks for their rights is an insane lunatic within the law. It's shocking, really; you'd think that those bastards would learn their place sooner."**_

"_**Seriously," replied my colleague. "That is why the under-there exists, right?"**_

"_**If you're talking about punishing those who don't learn their place, definitely," I said, standing up and walking around. "But as of Link? I say we let him discover the horrors of the under-there for a week. Then, we'll introduce him to our fists."**_

"_**Sounds fair, sir," said my colleague. "Thank you for informing me, sir."**_

"_**Nothing to it," I said. I nodded cordially as he walked out of the room.**_

_**Yes. Let the son of a bitch get used to the under-there. And then, we can beat extra education into that stubborn head of his.**_

_**Oh, I can barely wait…

* * *

**_

**Oh, damn it. What do I do now?**

**Ike's dead and Link's in the under-there. I have to get him out, no matter what. Don't those idiots realize that he was angry?**

**But how the hell am I supposed to get him out of there? What the hell can I do without being caught by the guards?**

**Oh, if only this prison system wasn't so messed up!**

**Okay, Wolf, think. Where is the door to the underthere?**

**Oh, damn it. I don't even know where it is. And God forbid that any of the guards should tell me that part.**

**Guards…**

**Wait. If they get pissed off enough, they can carry me down there. So all I have to do is get myself down into the under there, and I can get Link out of there.**

**Or no. Because then I can't get out myself. That's true.**

**Or, I can follow the next person who gets dragged to the under there by force. That might be hard, but it's certainly not impossible. And if they catch me, oh well.**

**You know what? I think I'll go ahead and bide my time. When I see somebody being taken to the under there, I'll just follow them up to the door that it leads to. Yeah. That sounds like a really good idea. I'll just do that then.**

**So all I need to do now is wait. Okay, Wolf, keep your senses alert. You'll need them soon.

* * *

**

R ats…

Th ey'r e eve ry wh e re…

I ca n't sl eep…

_Serves you right, in a way. After all, you gave some of us no sleep._

Bu t the y're o n my b ed… Th ey 're on my f lo or. The y ate m y foo d.

Oh, stop complaining like a little bitch and show some spine! You had plenty of spine as the Hero of Time, trawling all over the place like one of those rats that ate your food. Where's that spine gone, eh, Hero?

Y ou d on 't und er sta nd. I w an ted to cha nge!

_Well, you certainly didn't show initiative, that's for sure. Somewhere in your mind, there was something in it for you, too. Which was probably the main reason you did all that._

Bu t—!

Don't give us that bullshit. We know what you're up to.

B utI re ally tr ied t ohel p ther est of t hem! Idi d!

_But you wanted something in there, right, Link?_

N o…

_We know the truth behind that one, sir. Everything you've done to everybody has been for your own gain. Killing Ganondorf? That was for your own gain. And by the way, what a terrible thing to do, lying to Samus like that just so you can get revenge exacted on somebody you hate for no reason._

I stand by Marth. There was something in it for you, and for doing all that, you wound up in a terrible place that second to nobody but hell in how terrible it is.

St op,p le ase! In ev erm ea nta ny of wh atI di din th ispl acef or myo wn be nef it.

Oh, stop it. You know that's not true.

_And as long as you keep on denying it, we won't leave you alone._

B utI…

Exactly. You're cornered forever. Ha. The Hero of Time, cornered! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

_Very amusing indeed. Ha ha..._

T her ats are sti llth ere…

T hey ar eeating m yfe et…

Bu tId on't ca rean ym ore...

I cou ld n'tc a rea nym o re…


	15. Chapter 14

Hello, everybody! What's up?

I apologize in advance for the short chapter. I'm almost ready to get my biggest epic on written up, and in my giddiness for that I was trying to get this done as fast as possible. So prepare for that!

You all should know the rest. Here's the chapter, and enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 14

T hos era ts ag ain…

Link, would you stop complaining about the rats already? We know the rats are annoying, okay?

_Honestly. You know that it's only as bad as you make it._

S hu t up! Id on 'tse e you do in gany thin gfo rme…

Hey, it can't be any worse than the fact that the food is riddled with worms, right? And that the water has dirt in it?

T hat ist ru e, I gue ss…

_Then stop complaining about the rats. That's not the worst of it, you know. And also, let us not forget about the fact that you rarely ever get fed._

Bu tit sti llsu cks to li veh ere. S od ark…

_On that, I have to agree. But don't forget you're the one who got yourself in here._

That is right.

…**ince you are such a self…**

Z el da? Y ou t wo?

…**es, it's me, you ba…**

Oh, de ar… Ih ate y oua ll!

…**gh shit. You'll have to d…**

_… **and me too. You'll have to de…**_

F uck. F irs ty ou tw o, the nZe ld a a ndS amus? A rey out ry ingto kil lme?

_If Dedede doesn't kill you, that is._

Indeed.

O hn o…

W hyd idit ha veto b eme? Wh y?

**_...ause you are a bastard, that..._**

B utI…

Do you honestly think we care about what you think at this stage? Honestly, your words disgust me. Shut up, and don't speak for the rest of the day!

…

* * *

"_**Is the whip ready?"**_

"_**Yes, sir. Should we leave this the way it is, or...?"**_

"_**Leave it set up like this. Store it in the back of my office first, of course."**_

"_**Yes, sir!"**_

_**And thus, the preparations are made.**_

_**I can barely wait to torture Link. I'm shaking excitedly at the prospect of Link finally dying by my hand!**_

_**Bastards like him don't deserve to live! He doesn't even deserve to be here; hell would be a much better containment center for him!**_

_**So long as that rat is infesting my prisons, I cannot sleep well. I've been having nightmares of being overturned by his menace. But soon, the menace shall end.**_

_**And I'll make an example out of him to every last prisoner who dares to think about rebelling against my absolute power on the premises. I'll display his body in the halls, and then I can scare everybody shitless!**_

_**I'll have to kill him before the inspector arrives, though, and then I'll have to hang him after the inspector arrives. My jail has been put on watch because of what that Link did, so I'm getting inspections more often now. But not to worry; I can outsmart the inspectors just like I did all of the times before now.**_

__

**Oh, I can hardly wait to see what happens now!

* * *

**

**Here I am, sitting in the weight room. Everybody else is at lunch, so I'm just sitting here working off some calories.**

**Hey, it's not my fault that I had such a God-awfully gigantic breakfast. Man, I've been eating breakfast like a bitch thirsty for cock lately. I don't know why…**

**It's probably my fanaticism about my trying to get into the under-there to get Link out that's driving me to eat all of my day's fill at breakfast only. So in that case, I think I can forgive myself.**

**So I've just been sitting here working out like crazy. I've lost a lot of weight doing it, but the guards have said I'm doing everything right. But as usual, I know I can't trust them, so I don't give two shits about what they say about my body. Honestly…**

**So here I am, working on the dumbbells, when suddenly I started hearing some yelling.**

**Oh dear, a fight must have broken out. Time to head to the mess halls.**

**Before I could move, though, it subsided, and then a lone guy sounded like he was being carried off.**

**I followed the sound carefully with my ears. Thank the lord I'm a wolf is all I'll be saying about that.**

**So I traced it down to somewhere before I saw a group of about three guards keeping a guy tied down. There we go; our victim.**

**I hid behind the corner, only my eyes poking out. My ears don't pick up the guards coming, so I'm good. One of the guards went over to the wall and did a weird little hand pattern on it. After that, some secret passage must have opened, and down went the prisoner into the wall.**

**Aw, fuck, you have to memorize a hand pattern? I mean, I could subdue the guards, but then I'd have my ass stuck in there. Oh dear…**

**Oh well. At least I know where it is so I can sneak in there next time somebody goes in there to get Link out.**

**So that's what I'll do. Thank the lord I'm a wolf.**


	16. Chapter 15

Wow! I'm so sorry, everyone! I've just been so busy with Legend, and... AACK!

Okay, but now you have the next chapter, right? No filler this time; now, it's nothing but the climax and then some stuff to wrap it up.

And then, we can get on to the madhouse within the span of a chapter.

Also, don't mind the broken underlines; sucks at keeping the underlines consistent if I bold the text at the same time, I swear.

So here's the next chapter, and I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 15

D am nit…

Oh, for the love of Christ, will you stop it already?

**Seriously. I can only take so much of your moaning after a while, you know?**

B utI…

_**Oh, please. I don't want to hear it, okay? You've been bitching enough about how bad things are here lately, and we can only take so much of your bitching at one time, okay? So just shut up, and leave me the fuck alone!**_

S am us… P lea sedo n'tl eav eme!

_Wait, what's that I hear?_

Oh dear. The guards are here.

Bu tth eym igh tnot beco ming fo rme…

**You never can tell. They look like they're coming for you.**

B ut Ze lda…

_Sorry, Link. They definitely came for you. Look. They're opening your cell door._

_**Do we have to hide now?**_

Of course not! We go there and take it like a man! Right, Link, Master of Selfishness?

G anon dor f! D on'tdo thistome!

Why not? You did it to me all the time. Let the guards administer justice on you for all the wrongs you committed against me.

_I stand by what Ganondorf says._ _Oh, and by the way, you're being carried off now._

O hno…

Th eya renot goi ng to…

_**Probably. Serves you right, too.**_

N o… No!

* * *

**Okay. This is it. I'm going to get him out of there.**

**I was just walking down the halls as casually as possible towards the door that I remembered. Do the hand thingie, Wolf. Do the hand thingie.**

**I eventually reached the hallway where the under-there's entrance was. As I was about to turn the corner into it, though, I saw the door open on its own.**

**Ooh. Even better. Now I just need to wait for them to sneak out and we're good.**

**But wait. Is that Link they're leading out of there?**

**Ooh, boy. This is an event. I've gotta see this.**

**As they walked down the hallway, I followed them stealthily. It's really not like they cared if I was following them, actually; for some strange reason, even with some of my blunders they didn't notice I was there. Are these people really this fucking stupid?**

**Whatever. I'll just keep following them.**

"**You're getting it today, boy!" sniggered one of the guards leading Link somewhere (I still don't know where he's going, though…). "Just you wait until you get there!"**

"**Yeah!" sniggered the other guard. "The warden will be glad to see you suffer!"**

**Wait, the warden.**

**Aw, shit, Link's being taken to the warden's office?**

**It's a good thing that the warden's office was very close to the under-there, for then they turned the corner. After walking down two doors to the warden's office, they opened the door and led my friend in there.**

**Okay, this is definitely not the end. I've gotta see what this is all about to see what I can do.**

**Slowly and silently, I made my way to the warden's door. I carefully brought up my ear to the door, and before long, I began hearing things within the confines of the warden's office.

* * *

**

"_**So, you thought you could undermine my power, eh? Well, tough shit."**_

_**I said this right as Link was being brought in. The headboard's already there, I have the tools sitting in my desk right now, and I'm all ready to go now. I gathered most of the guards; they're going to finish him off if I can't do it within forty-five minutes since the inspector comes in an hour. You thought you could mess with me, bitch? Well, you were wrong.**_

_**The guard started by tying Link to the headboard. Oh, man, I almost want to jump on him right now!**_

_**But I need to stay calm, or else.**_

_**I looked at him, staring ahead of him and muttering things to himself as we undressed him. Hm. I'd rather torture my specimens naked after this. I think I'll go ahead and do that.**_

"_**And with this, I start," I said, standing up from behind my desk where I was the entire time, pulling the drawer open and pulling out a bullwhip that was rather long.**_

_**The bullwhip found its place in my hand as I stepped forward from behind the desk to get a good vantage point.**_

_**I brought my arm back, and then I landed a good solid lash on his side. He flinched! He flinched! And now the blood's flowing.**_

"_**You thought you could mess with me, huh?" I asked. "Well, you're wrong!"**_

__

**I added another lash to his body, smiling gleefully and chuckling every time his hands tensed.

* * *

**

**Oh no. Oh **_**hell**_** no. You have got to be shitting me.**

**Oh, fuck. I need to find somebody to stop this. Like, right fucking now!**

**I bolted away from the door as quickly as I could.**

**Link's in danger, and I need to find somebody fast.**

**Without looking back, I turned, running down the hallway as fast as my feet could carry me.**

**Link, whatever you do, don't get yourself killed on me before I can get back!**

* * *

O h… T hep ain…

Shut it, smart one. You've been high and mighty all your life, and yet now that you run into extreme pain, you can't stand it? Don't make me laugh. Ha ha…

**Ganondorf has a point, you know. You used to scoff crap like this all the time.**

"That's right, boy! Feel that blood running down your side!"

S to p… St opt hi spa in… O w…

"Oh, had enough? Because I've had enough of this whip, too."

O h, t han ky oul ord…

_I wouldn't celebrate just yet. Look! He's getting something from his desk drawer._

_**Yep. It's barbed wire.**_

"In fact, I'd rather go for something sharper, if you know what I mean. To the point."

Agg! Th epai n! Agg! M ak eits top!

**I'll admit barbed wire is a bit harsh, wouldn't most of you say?**

_Actually, not really. I think he deserves it._

S to pth epa in! S to pit no w! T hos eba rbs! Oww! Oww!

"Am I hearing you beg?"

He stopped for a second. Don't stop, sir! Keep going!

"All right, sir. Anything for my pet!"

Oww! T hepa in! M ak eit st op! Ma kei tst op!

_Show him the error of his ways, good sir! There are not enough ways to say the injustice of what he did!_

_**And especially for me! For making me think he truly loved me! Oh, I love watching him get tortured!**_

**Don't any of you have any dignity at all? Barbed wire is a little too much!**

Oh, come on, Zelda. You should be relishing in this moment!

A g ! T h e p a i n ! T h e p a i n ! M a k e i t s t o p ! ! ! ! H e l p m e o u t h e r e !

_Oh, shut it. I don't want to hear it!_

No… Itallgoestodustitallgoestodustitallgoestodustitallgoestodustitallgoestodustitallgoestodust…

* * *

_**Man, am I enjoying this immensely! Barbed wire definitely is a better whip.**_

_**But I have better things to do here. So I took the barbed wire from my hand and moved back to the desk drawer.**_

"_**What can I say?" I asked as I stowed away the barbed wire, pulling out a small little leather band with spikes that I got from an adult stuff store the other day. "Barbed wire gets old. Unfortunately, sex never does."**_

_**I walked up to that man, and taking the leather band, I fastened it around his length. After that, I looked at one of the guards close to him.**_

"_**Bryan," I told him. "I want you to strip, and I want you to fuck this little bastard until I tell you to stop."**_

"_**Yes, sir!" he replied.**_

_**I smiled with glee as I watched the man strip, going up to the headboard when he was completely naked.**_

__

**I just watched as Link was getting fucked right in front of my eyes. Oh, that feeling is great! Oh! Yeah! Fuck him faster, Bryan! Hell yeah!

* * *

**

**Damn it! This is super frustrating! I can't find anybody who will help!**

**None of the prisoners I've frantically asked will help. Fuck asking the guards; I can't seem to find any of them anywhere, and I wouldn't do that anyway since they would be of no help at all!**

**And some crazy shit is going on out here. Now, there's a brawl in every hallway I'm running through! Those guys would normally be sent to the under-there, but I don't see any fucking guards running around trying to bring order in this place. Don't tell me that idiot prison warden invited all of them to torture Link! Oh, Christ, I need to move fast.**

**Fuck! None of the prisoners will help! Damn it!**

**Before I was able to think any more, I bumped into somebody, falling down on the ground from the force of bumping into him. I shook my head and looked up, finding somebody nicely dressed in a suit and a tie having been knocked down on his ass.**

**Oh, crap! This was an inspector day? Oh, fuck. He's going to find enough here for a conference, that's for sure.**

"**Oh, I'm sorry sir!" I said standing up.**

"**What's the big rush?" asked who I'm sure was the inspector. "I'm not late for—"**

**He interrupted himself as he saw a brawl going on right behind me.**

"**What is this?" he asked. "How come people are brawling?"**

"**I can't find the guards anywhere!" I exclaimed. "They're brawling all over the place!"**

"**Oh, this is irresponsible!" he exclaimed, taking out a notepad and scribbling some things down. "I'll inform the board right away."**

"**Wait!" I exclaimed, grabbing his shoulder before he could leave. "I need help! I think I know where the guards are! I think they're watching this one prisoner getting tortured with the use of a bull whip!"**

**The inspector's eyes went really wide.**

"**A bull whip?" he asked. "That goes against every regulation in the book!"**

"**You've gotta help me, damn it!" I shouted. "This way!"**

**Without giving him a chance to reply, I grabbed his hand, leading him through all of the brawls that were going on, never once letting go as I made the mad dash back to the warden's office.**

**Oh, God, Link. Please be alive!

* * *

**

Ohthepaingetthissonofabitchoutofmyassdon'tmakehimdowhatsnakedidtomedon'tmakehimcomeanyclosertomethanheisnow,goddamnithelpmeouthereidon'twanttodieidon'twanttomeetmymakerplease,somebody,anybody,saveme

**Face it, Link. Nobody's coming.**

Buttherehastobesomebody,iknowtheredoespleasedon'tmakemedieiwanttolivedamnitgetmeoutofthishellholeiwanttoliveiwanttoliveiwanttoliveiwanttoli

Oh, shut up already! I get tired of your babbling.

"Fill 'im, Bryan."

_Oops. There he goes, spilling… uh… whatever that is… into your ass._

Ohnoihatethatstuffgetitoutofmeidon'twantitinmegetitawaysnake,whereareyouidon'twanttohavethisstuffinmeanymoreohgetthepaintostopgetittostopgetittostopgetittofuckingstop

_**Oh, for the love of all things holy, will you stop complaining?**_

**Wait, what's that?**

Ohnoitsagunisn'tigohshitidon'twanttodiegetmeoutofherethisisabaddreamthisisabaddreamidon'twanttodieidon'twanttodiegethimtopointthatgunawayfrommepleasepleasepleasedon'tlethimshootmeiwanttolivegoddamnitpleaseiwantto—

AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Oh, dear. He got shot in the leg. This is not good.

"You've messed with my plans for the last time, sir! Now you shall pay with your life!"

* * *

"**Okay, here we are," I said, running to the warden's office just as the gun went off for the first time inside.**

**Holy shit! It's a gun! Not good. Not good at all! Oh, fuck, this is bad. This is really fucking bad!**

"**And now he's using a gun?" asked the inspector. "Madness! I will not have any of this at all in the prison system!"**

"**So what the fuck do you suggest we do?" I asked, scared as all hell for Link's health.**

**We break the door open," he said.

* * *

**

_**All right, this is it! This is the part where I can kill this son of a bitch already!**_

_**I brought the gun to his other knee, where I shot at it again. I managed to blow that kneecap well off when I fired the gun next.**_

"_**Ooh!" said one of the guards close to me. "Nice shot, Dedede!"**_

_**Thanks," I said briefly, before bringing the gun to one of Link's feet, shooting the little toe on his right foot clear off right afterwards.

* * *

**_

"**Okay, we break through this door, on the count of three, all right?" asked the inspector, looking at me.**

"**Whatever, just count down already!" I shouted.**

**One," he said, the both of us taking a step back to the wall behind us.

* * *

**

Oh,godthispainhelpmehelpmehelpme!

_Oh, no. This is bad._

_**I can't believe it! We won't exist! Help us! Help us!**_

Stopthepainohnoidon'teanttodieidon'twanttodieohgodpleasesavemesomebodyidon'tcare—

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG

* * *

"**Two," said the inspector again, the two of us stepping all the way back with our backs flush to the wall.**

**I'm sweating like a bitch right now.**

**Oh God, Link. Please be alive!

* * *

**

"_**All right, here's the last shot!" I said. "And it's going straight for the head!"**_

__

**I aimed the gun at Link's head, resting my finger on the trigger, ready to fire.

* * *

**

"**Three!"**

**The two of us ran towards the door, our bodies crushing into it with all the force we were able to generate. Under the weight of both of us, the door flew right off of its hinges, and we came down upon the floor of the warden's office in a giant heap. Sure enough all of the guards and the giant penguin asshole that's the warden was looking at both of us, all of them surprised at what they found at the foot of the headboard that Link was fastened to.**

**Quickly I jumped up, severing the links holding my friend to the headboard, watching with disgust at all of the blood seeping from his being. Twenty whip lashes, ten barbed wire lashes, some stuff flowing from his ass, something in his right kneecap, his left kneecap just not being there at all, the little toe on his right foot having been blown completely off, and a bullet in the thigh.**

**Oh, dear. He's alive, but barely.**

**I heard him babble something quickly before he finally fell into unconsciousness in my arms. I'm pretty sure it was the only solace he was able to get from all that pain that he received.**

**For a second, I looked at his quiet frame, and when I looked up, I shot a glare at every single security guard that was sitting in the room shocked at our arrival.**

"**You…" I began, anger instantly rising at every single one of them. God damn it, I want to shoot them all! How bad could they be towards their fellow human beings?**

"**You assholes!" I yelled suddenly. "How the fuck could you be so fucking cruel to your fucking fellow human beings? Huh? You fucking assholes?"**

"**What the fuck are you yelling at me for?" asked the warden. "He was the one being the stupid little prick!"**

"**And whose fault is that?" asked the inspector, walking up to Dedede and grabbing him by that retarded red cloak of his. "Maybe it's your fault for being a sadistic, mindless, idiotic enforcer who doesn't follow any of his own rules!"**

"**I don't fucking care about rules!" the penguin retorted. "Those fucking criminals hurt somebody! I'm giving them the physical manifestation of those people's hurt?"**

**  
"Didn't anybody tell you that two wrongs don't make a right?" I asked.**

**That does it. I'm fed up with this bullshit.**

"**Okay?" asked the inspector. "Now, this is a disgrace to this prison and to yourself! Do you know that your prisoners are all fighting each other outside? And I don't see one guard moving to stop them. Why? Because they were all here to watch you torture one stupid prisoner to death! If you're so set about delivering justice, maybe **_**you**_** ought to step in their shoes one of these days!"**

"**What do you mean?" asked the warden, leaving the gun on the desk and pointing his finger at the inspector. "I am the law! I already know the murdering, ignorant louts that they are!"**

"**But you don't recognize the pain you inflict on them!" replied the inspector, taking out his cell phone and dialing a number. "Maybe you really ought to be demoted. And when you're demoted, I will make sure with all of my power that you are locked up with these ignorant louts that you think they are."**

**Oh dear. This could get ugly. Don't reach for the gun, Dedede. Don't reach for the gun.**

"**What?" he shouted. He reached for the gun and aimed at the inspector. "You make one move in the direction of the police, and I will shoot!"**

**I laughed bitterly. Oh, god, he's in charge of this prison, but man, how stupid could you be?**

**All eyes looked right at me, and I just continued to laugh bitterly, holding an unconscious man in .**

"**Didn't anybody tell you that the harder you try to hide something, the harder you fall in the end?" I asked, still chuckling bitterly. "No matter what you do at this point, face it. When somebody else finds out, you're going to jail, no matter how many inspectors you kill. So just try. It won't make a god damn difference in the world."**

**There was a silence, and in the midst of this, the warden silently put down the handgun, lifting his hands up in the air and looking down at the ground in defeat.**

**The inspector smiled coyly, dialed the police, and called them to a completely silent room.

* * *

**

**We were still sitting in the room when the police finally arrived.**

**They filed in there, and pretty soon all of the guards that were there were arrested promptly, the handcuffs going around their wrists. I, meanwhile, busied myself with tending to Link's wounds the best I could, managing to get that bad knee wrapped up in bandages and applying antiseptic to all of those lashes. God, it makes me cringe to think of what he went through.**

**Soon after the arrests were made, the policemen marched out of the room with their new prisoners in tow, and soon after, the stretcher came to take Link to the hospital, where he would be treated for his wounds.**

**And then, I got the biggest surprise of all. For then, right into the room, walked a very important figure, and my jaw dropped to the floor when I saw who it was.**

"**G… Governor Hand?" I asked.**

"**Yes, sir," replied the voice of Governor Matthew Hand to my question. Oh my god. He's really standing right in front of me! Oh, my god! What am I going to do?**

"**What… What are you doing here?" I sort of blurted out, the inspector just sitting there.**

"**One of the phone calls that the inspector made got to my office," said the governor. "He actually commented on how you were the only one with enough will to run out and find somebody to help stop something terrible from happening. For that, you should be very proud."**

"**I am, but what does that have to do with you being here?" I asked.**

**The governor slowly walked up to me, taking a folded paper out of his pocket and handing it to me.**

"**Oh, nothing much," he said. "Just to give you some papers."**

**I took the papers from his hand, and unfolding it, I glanced over the handwriting, which looked all official…**

**Wait, is this a pardon? The governor's signature is at the bottom of it, and…**

**Holy shit! It's a pardon!**

"**H…" Oh my god. I'm so happy right now I'm fucking paralyzed! "Holy shit! This isn't a pardon! I'm dreaming here!"**

"**This is no dream, sir," replied the governor. "You really are pardoned for saving the life of somebody who would have needed it. You can leave whenever you're ready."**

**Oh my god. This is not real! I was caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, and now I'm pardoned for being in the right place at the right time.**

**God, Lady Luck just loves to throw these kinds of things at me when I least expect it.**

"**Th…" I began, my words choking on my throat. "Thank you, Governor."**

**Those three words… Man, did I lose my breath on them…**

**And with that, I'm free. I can do what I want.**

**Maybe I'll go back to Lyatt, and reform Star Wolf to do good for the galaxy there. But for now? I'm not sure.**

**I think I'll just stick around here.**

**I stood up slowly, hugging the Governor gratefully, and as I walked out of the warden's office a pair of guards were waiting, one of them holding a change of real clothes for me to take with me into the bathroom.**


	17. Chapter 16

And I'm back everybody!

I think I'm spending too much time on Legend. But nevertheless, I hope to finish this fic by this summer before I go to school in the fall. It probably won't happen, but still, setting a goal is nice, you know?

So that's the story here.

Anyways, you know the rest. Here's the chapter, and I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 16

_**Okay, everything is in order. The patient is in the bed, he's got a constant pulse, he's conscious, and he should be fine now. But doctors have heard him mumbling to himself constantly ever since he woke up. From time to time, he also jerks upright, yelling something about the thing. And being the director of the Smash Island Asylum, these doctors decided to call me over there to see what was up.**_

_**All right. Let's see this.**_

_**I walked up to the door of his hospital room, a nurse standing right there.**_

"_**Dr. Olimar," said the nurse. "I am so glad you were able to make it here."**_

"_**Well, I tried my best," I replied. "Is the patient in there?"**_

"_**He's up and mumbling again," said the nurse. "You're the mental specialist, so I'll let you go in now."**_

"_**Thanks," I said, and the nurse opened for me. "I'll be sure to let you know of my prognosis once I get back."**_

_**In the hospital bed in front of me, I saw the form of sir Link sitting there, eyes bloodshot and his mouth constantly moving to I don't know what tune.**_

_**Bloodshot eyes. A sign of insomnia. I need to make a mental note of that.**_

_**I walked up to the bed, pulling up a chair as I looked at him.**_

"_**Why, hello there," I said. "Sir Link, was it?"**_

_**I didn't get a response, at least at first. After a few seconds, he slowly turned his head. Okay. Slow response to external stimuli. That's a sign.**_

_**He didn't really respond to me; instead, the mumbling just got louder. That's another thing. He won't speak loudly.**_

_**That means I'll have to get close to his mouth to listen to him. God, I hate doing that. It's annoying enough when you can't make sense of what they're saying, but when they seem to be leaning towards instability there's a problem.**_

_**So I inched ever closer to his mouth, my ears slowly tuning in to what he was saying. In all of this, all I have to say is thank God I have a large head.**_

"_**Noyoucan'tbereal," said the patient quickly. "Youknowhowmuchthesepeo—"**_

_**And then the mumbling stopped completely, and then he turned his head slowly in another direction.**_

"_**ButyouarekiddingmeGanondorf," he said again, also very quickly. "Thesepeopledon'thurtmethey'rehealingmedon'tyouseethatdon'tyouseethey'retryingto—"**_

_**And he was silent again. Ganondorf…**_

_**That was the name of the competitor that he tried to kill, right? I guess that means that he's seeing people he knew in his head.**_

_**So there are multiple people in his head. And the fact that he turned his head to face a particular direction where there was nothing there means that he probably sees them there. So he's probably having heavy hallucinations.**_

_**He's also pale as the devil. Yep, this guy's definitely mad. I think I should take him to my asylum. Oh, there better be something I can—.**_

"_**Shutup!" yelled Link suddenly, leaping out of the bed angrily. I was very surprised, my head being hit particularly hard against the left side of his waist as he leapt up and started running towards the spot that his head was turned to. "Diealreadyyou'remakingmylifemisreablestopit!"**_

"_**Doctor!" I yelled, and a team instantly went in there with a team of nurses as Link yelled incoherently. One of them held a syringe. Sedatives. Good. Sleep can help him out in this frenzy.**_

_**And then the nurses started surrounding him in a tight clump. Oh dear. Not good.**_

"_**Don't surround him completely!" I advised. "He'll just resist harder if you do!"**_

_**The ring around him loosened as Link shouted threats at the nurses. The nurse with the syringe went calmly up to him, and two nurses held Link's arm still.**_

_**The syringe was jabbed into Link's arm as carefully as they could with his struggles, and after a few minutes Link finally settled into a limp form against one of the nurses. They then proceeded to lay Link back in the bed.**_

_**I just stood there as the doctor walked up to me.**_

"_**This is very bad," I said simply as he walked up to me. "I'm not sure we can keep him in here any longer."**_

"_**Neither am I," said the doctor. "What is your prognosis?"**_

"_**He's definitely lost it," I said. "He's already in a worse state than most of my own patients at the asylum are."**_

"_**So should we send him there?" asked the doctor.**_

"_**As soon as he recovers," I said as I walked for the door. "I'll provide the transportation crew with special instructions. Open spaces are needed here."**_

"_**What?" asked the doctor. "Why?"**_

"_**If he's put in a constricted space, it might worsen his condition," I said simply. "We need to get this guy recovered, and I'm determined to do it."**_

"_**I wish you luck in your quest then," said the doctor, opening the door for me as I walked out.**_

_**Oh, man. This will surely be the hardest case I have yet to take.**_

_**But no matter what, I'm determined to get this poor guy back in good mental health.**_

_**After all, he'll need it after all that he went through.**_

* * *

Theywon'ttouchmenowtheywon'ttouchmenow.

**That's what you think. They'll have to touch you again to get that IV stuff back in your bloodstream.**

_**Come to think of it, aren't you just about recovered now?**_

Samus is right. Therefore, you will be returning back there soon.

_Oh, what a joyous day it will be. The determined prisoner, going back to where he came from to die a few weeks later._

OhnoIdon'twanttogobackIdon'twanttogobackpleasekeepthemfromsendingmeback—

Oh, hush, you. You know things will be different what with that bastard warden gone, right?

**Really? I don't think that will be so. Firing some man doesn't solve a problem.**

…**She's right, you know.**

Roy,isthatyou?

**You better believe it. Right, Zelda?**

**Oh, yes, Link. I'm so much happier with Roy right now. In fact, he's even better in bed than you are.**

OhnoyoubitchI'mgoingtokillyou—!

**You can do nothing to me, and you know it damn well, too.**

_Give it a rest, Link. It is clear she no longer loves you._

Wait, what's that I hear? The doctors are back. With guards, too.

**And they're coming right for you. You're going back!**

NoIdon'twanttogobackletmego!

_Hm. They do not seem like those prison guards. Their uniform is different._

_**Then where are we going?**_

Wherever we may go, we are still being moved in a truck. How convenient.

AtruckthatisabadsigngetmeoutofhereIdon'tknowwhattodojustgetthesementostopmovingmetowherevertheyareIdon'twantto—

**I thought we told you to shut up already!**

**Yeah! Don't you know when enough babbling is enough babbling?**

ButI'mnotbabblingI'mbeingassaneasanyotherpersonthat'saroundmewhereamIgoingIwanttolive,damnyouIwanttolive

_That has been very well established by now, thank you._

Hey, we stopped already. This trip went by really quickly.

**Whatever. Back to the slammer with you!**

ButIdon'twanttogobackIdon'twanttogobackIdon'twanttogobackpleasemakethemstopcarryingmeoutofhereIdon'twanttobewiththemhelpmehelpmehelpmehelp—!

**What the hell? This isn't the prison!**

It'snotohyesI'maliveatlastI'mgoingtoliveI'mgoingtolive!

_Where are we…?_

* * *

_**The truck parked just outside of a rather large two-story white building. And here I am, directing my assistants to get him into the building. Man, the Pikmin are really helpful to me. I mean, they come in all of these silly colors, but they get the job done and that's what counts here.**_

"_**Okay, hold him gently but firmly," I said. "Clarice, not that hard. Okay, that's better. Now lead him into the building slowly, like you would to an old man. That's it. That's good."**_

_**They also catch on rather quickly, which is what makes them so helpful around here. I followed them into the building, holding the door open for them. My nurses are all rather helpful here, too. Only my most trusted underlings are Pikmin, but I have a lot of respect going around all over the place. So when I need something done, it gets done.**_

_**So we went over to the largest room on the first floor, and we led him into the bed, and he fell onto it with a huge smile on his face. I don't think he knows what we're going to do here.**_

"_**Okay, that will be all," I said. "I'll see you all tomorrow!"**_

_**My assistants nodded and left the room. I stood at the door for a few seconds, getting a glance at my new patient as he sat on the bed, babbling happily. At least he's happy for the moment.**_

_**I closed the door, and then one of my most trusted nurses came up to me.**_

"_**Good afternoon, Olimar," he said. Yes, it's a male nurse.**_

"_**Hello, Lucario," I said. "Do you have a file ready for sir Link here?"**_

"_**Yes I do," he said. "Here you are."**_

"_**Thanks," I said as I began walking to my office. Lucario followed me, his red eyes looking at my head as I spoke. "I'll need to get started on this report right away. This is a rather strange case."**_

"_**How so?" asked Lucario.**_

"_**Because he's already past the level of most of my patients," I replied. "I'll need to get started as soon as possible. I'll be in my office. Until then, tend to the other patients."**_

"_**Yes, doctor," said Lucario before he turned around and walked in the opposite direction from where I was going.**_

_**I walked to my office, and I set the papers down on the desk close to where the picture of my daughter was. I then walked behind my desk, sitting down, taking a pen, and promptly beginning to write on those papers.**_

_**This is a hard job. But you never know until you try.**_


	18. Chapter 17

Hot damn! I've been putting this off for too long. Sorry, folks!

And as of me not updating this as often as I should? _Legend_ is officially the worst side-tracker ever. I did finish the first book yesterday. And because of that, I'm glad to announce that Paranoia will be the only thing I'm working on until I get to Boston for school!

So, anyways, enough talk. Let's get this sucker moving, shall we?

* * *

Chapter 17

**_Man, that office gets so stuffy after a while. I'm going to find Lucario._**

**_I've written up my prognosis on Link. And in so doing that, I guess we need to get a head start on getting him better._**

**_And as luck would have it, he's still there in his office in those late night hours. Sometimes, I wonder if this guy ever leaves this place. I mean, I've caught him sleeping on the floor several times myself. That can't be good for all that blue fur, I'm sure._**

**_As politely as I could, I coughed very hard, and Lucario suddenly bolted upright in his desk, where he had apparently been dozing off for quite a bit of time. He shook his head quickly before his attention diverted to me._**

**_"Lucario, why are you always still here?" I asked. "I'm pretty sure that I would not want a lot of people waking me up due to deranged screaming."_**

**_"I can't help it, sir," replied Lucario. "I'm just... drawn to this place. And besides, you're still here."_**

**_"That's because I was busy all afternoon writing up a prognosis for our newest patient," I replied, and as quickly as I had arrived I dropped Link's files on Lucario's desk._**

**_He picked it up, rummaging through the papers and finding the looseleaf papers I had left there. Taking these, he quickly read through them and looked up at me._**

**_"Wait, we're going straight to the electrostatic shock treatment?" asked Lucario, scarlet eyes suddenly staring surprisedly at my figure._**

**_"He's very far gone," I replied. "That might be the only way we can help him."_**

**_"But aren't the meds enough?" asked Lucario._**

**_I sighed heavily. Man, explaining cases gets on my nerves..._**

**_"He has a very bad case of hallucinations," I said. "It seems as if he's halucinating about people that aren't even there. I don't think the meds will work in this case; we need to take drastic measures..."_**

**_"You're not going to order a lobotomy, are you?" asked Lucario._**

**_Lobotomy? Why in God's name would I give that bogus treatment anyway?_**

**_"Lucario, lobotomy is not even a real treatment for patients," I replied. "I mean, taking out half of the brain? What good is that going to do? That is just going to make their mental state far worse than it already is! Under no circumstances will I authorise a lobotomy!"_**

**_"Oh, okay," said the nurse, wiping his forehead with the front of his paw. (That spike on the back of his hand must be very annoying.) "For a second there, I thought you had lost you mind."_**

**_"Now, Lucario, you know I don't use that expression," I said. "I mean, it's not like we don't have a bunch of patients all around us that have already well since lost their minds."_**

**_"Oh, sorry," said Lucario._**

**_"Don't worry about it," I said, patting his back as I walked over to him. "In any case, you're a trusted friend around these parts. I want you to supervise the first shock treatments tomorrow, and I'll see you after that."_**

**_"All right," replied Lucario. "See you then."_**

**_I nodded and left his office._**

Ohdearthisplaceisbig.

**I'll admit, this place actually doesn't feel all that bad.**

**_Don't get too into it, though; there's something strange going on here..._**

NotverylikelySamusthisplaceseemsreallynice.

**We'll see, Link. We'll see. Those guys are coming to get you.**

_Electrostatic shock? What's that?_

**I think it's where they take probes and shock your head or something. **

_Probes?_

**I knew it! I knew something was wrong with this place!**

Now we shall all die! You'll die too!

Whatnoidon'twanttodieIdon'twanttodie!

**Hey! Stop carrying us down that hall!**

**_What do you think you're doing? Stop it, damn you!_**

Don't tie us into those restraints! Oh, god, keep the things from our heads!

**Don't push that button!**

**Stop! Stop!**

Godisthatyou?

--

...

Whereami?

**Back in your room, of course.**

Inmyroomwhathappened?

_They attached some stuff and zapped your head with it. Quite the revolting gesture, if you ask me..._

They also killed Samus.

Whattheykilledsamusno!

**Believe it, man. And rest assured they'll kill all of us.**

**Even you. I mean, if they killed Samus so easily...**

ohnoidon'twanttodiekeepthemfromkillingme!

But we can't do anything, you know. You have to do it.

butidon'twanttodoittheycouldkillmeifitried!

**Aw, give it a rest, man. We'll let you know when they want to come kill you again.**

butroy,idon'wanttodie!

That has been established very well, sir.

_After all, you do repeat that so many times. You get on my nerves..._

marth...

there'snoreasontofightback

**There's a good boy. Now, let's rest for a little bit.**

--

**_I heard Lucario's custom-made knock on the door of my office when I was filing some papers._**

**_"Come in," I said. I just tell him to come in just like any other worker in this ward._**

**_He entered the room unspectacularly, and as I stood up to put a file in one of those filing cabinets by my desk, he nodded._**

**_"Link just woke up from the shock therapy," he said._**

**_"Good, good," I said. "How is he?"_**

**_"He seems even more withdrawn now," replied Lucario. "The babbling's getting softer, but he won't talk to anybody."_**

**_"Hm," I said. "The shock therapy seems to be making him worse..."_**

**_"That's what it looks like," replied Lucario. "What should we do now?"_**

**_"Hm..." Man, I'm not sure what I should do here. Part of my brain is telling me to stop this alltogether, and another is saying it needs to keep going._**

**_Damn it..._**

**_Oh, wait! I think I got it now!_**

**_"We shall have an electrostatic shock section once every two weeks," I said. "On the second shock treatment, if he does not show any signs of improvement, we shall have to stop doing that and reevaluate our situation."_**

**_"Okay, doctor," said Lucario, writing some things down. "How'd that exit interview with the little cartoon kid go?"_**

**_"The guy's name is Chikara," I corrected. "But it turned out really well. He's back to mental stability."_**

**_"Ah, so that's another success!" said Lucario as he pumped a fist into the air. "We're unstoppable!"_**

**_"Now, now, Lucario," I said. "Let's not get too full of ourselves here. It's true we're the world's only asylum that has had a ten-year record of sending out patients that really have improved when they came in here, but we do run into unsuccessful cases every so often, you know?"_**

**_"That's true," said Lucario, walking over to my desk and holding a hand up. "Let's do the customary high-five, shall we?"_**

**_I nodded, and I lifted my hand up and gave Lucario a high five. It always feels good to know that when one patient is out, they will do well with the world._**

**_I hope I can do the same thing with Link. I think I can save him, and I'm the only one with the power to do so. Therefore, I have to take this seriously._**

**_I'll do everything in my power to bring him back. I swear I will._**


	19. Chapter 18

So, here I am again.

I've broken my promise. Sorry. Now I'm doing this side-by-side with Legend, because I can't wait any longer. You know?

But you're still getting this, so enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 18

theydon'tseemtobewantinganythingwithme.

Then they must not want any of us dead.

**At least, for now, Ganondorf. I don't know about later...**

_Bah, don't worry about it. I'm sure they've reconsidered in the two weeks that they haven't touched us with._

**At least, nothing better happen...**

Wait, what is that?

ohdearthedooropenedidn'tit?

_Of course it did, you blathering fool. And they are here._

**Electrostatic shock treatment? Oh, no! Not there again!**

**No! I do not want to be back in that forsaken room again!**

nokeepmeawayfromthemkeepmeawayfromthosebastards!

Link! What the hell are you doing?

idon'twanttobenearthesepeople!

**Stay put then! Do not break through them!**

_Calm down!_

noiwon'tdiehereiwillnotdieherenomatterwhat!

**Wait! It's one of those hospital syringes! Stop struggling damn it!**

noiwon'tgodownwithoutafighti'mafighteriamiwillnotletmyself--

--

* * *

**_"Okay, sir Tabuu. Tell me; how are you feeling today?" I asked._**

**_"I'm still seeing those people..." replied my patient. "But I'm not afraid of it anymore. It's like, they're starting to be familiar with me..."_**

**_"That's good to hear," I replied. "Do you think you can live with them now?"_**

**_"Doctor, that's not what I'm here for," replied Tabuu. "I'm here so I can get these dead people away from my mind! I need something stronger. Put me on electrostatic treatment if you want!"_**

**_"Oh, Tabuu, you know I can't do that..." I said, shaking my head sternly. "Electrostatic shock isn't needed for a case like this where you're seeing things."_**

**_"But I don't want to deal with these hallucinations anymore!" replied Tabuu. "I can stand them now, but I'm so close to getting rid of them._**

**_I sighed, and wrote something down on a sheet of paper._**

**_"How about this?" I asked. "I'll increase the doseage of your medication. If within a week you're still seeing things, I'll put you on electrostatic shock. How is that for an idea?"_**

**_"All right," said Tabuu, turning his head away from me and not saying anything more._**

**_I sighed as soon as I walked out of the room. Tabuu has been in this ward for five years, complaining that he's seeing hallucinations of dead people. In five years, they still haven't gotten away. I'm actually beginning to think he might have a sixth sense, and I don't believe in any of that mumbo-jumbo anyways._**

**_As I walked down the room on my way back to the office, I looked at the paper, seeing what I had written. Shaking my head, I tore off the part about the electrostatic shock and dunked it into the wastebasket. Tabuu is really an interesting case, but he's not a radical one either. That's why I don't think he needs the electrostatic shock as much as he thinks he does; he's really not that bad a case._**

**_Well, that's Tabuu anyways._**

**_I'm off to Link's room now._**

**_Link had to be sedated when he struggled against my assistants when he was taken to electrostatic shock. Damn it, I knew something like this would happen._**

**_But what's puzzling me about this case is that even with the two-week precaution that I took, he doesn't want to do the shock treatment even now. That's why I took the two-week break for him; I was hoping to avoid a situation like this entirely. But it happened anyways..._**

**_But here I am in front of Link's room. I opened the door carefully to find him sitting there, staring blankly ahead with his food literally the way it was since it was left in front of him four hours ago._**

**_Oh dear. He's in exactly the same position he was when I last saw him. This is definitely not good._**

**_I walked in anyways._**

**_"Hello, Link," I said. "Are you feeling any better?"_**

**_No response. He just kept on murmuring to himself._**

**_I sat there for twenty minutes, waiting for him to respond. He didn't, instead preferring to talk to the voices in his own head for some strange reason. When I finally realized that this was useless, and so I stood up and walked towards the door._**

**_"Well, if there's anything you need, be sure to let me know if you need it," I said, before I opened it and left._**

**_Damn it. This is not very successful at all. I need to find out what happened in that cell that caused him to go mad like this..._**

**_Wait, that's stupid. I already know some of what happened. He was physically tortured, raped, and shot four times by one gun. That's probably what it is. But even then, the PTS shouldn't be that bad..._**

**_Maybe there's more to it than that._**

**_I need to find out what else went on..._**

**_Wait. There was that Wolf O'Donnell fellow that found Link in there. Maybe he knows more about this than anybody else._**

**_I rushed over to the phone at the receptionist's, and picking up the reciever quickly, I dialed the governor's number. I'm very certain he knows Wolf's number._**

**_Oh, come on, Governor. I need the answers that I seek, and I need them now!_**

* * *

**Well, I guess I'm stuck here. And there's nothing I can do to get out of it.**

**I got something in the mail from Matthew Hand earlier today; apparently, it was an invitation to the Brawl tournament that they're setting up around here. And it's also in several months.**

**Oh well. At least the real estate market isn't doing too badly around these parts. I'm here, renting out this pretty good apartment for the months that I'm stuck here. Rent is cheap, and that's really all that matters. I can sell this thing for a while, too, and I have very good phone service. And for once, I can actually eat real food.**

**I've gotten back into contact with my Lyatt buddies, Leon and Panther. They're doing okay without me. Panther's actually thinking about settling down with some lady he met at a bar the other day, and Leon's chillin' in prison. Eh. What the fuck can you do if you can't reform Star Wolf?**

**I actually did talk to Fox, though, and he decided its fine if I join the ranks of StarFox. So when I see him in the tournament (since he and Falco are apparently both in this tournament too), I'll leave with him, and that'll be the end of that.**

**So, here I am, flipping through channels. The TV's a little shoddy, but it's not bad at all. Still functions well, even if I don't know what to watch. There's nothing good on anymore. Not like I care, anyways.**

**The phone rang loudly as I flipped through channels. Funny. I don't usually get called at this time, and I really don't want to answer that stupid phone if it's another fan-girl or fan-boy asking questions about Link and I. But whatever. I'm here, I should probably answer it.**

**I stood up with a grunt and walked over to the table by the window where the phone sat. I picked up the reciever and stared out the window.**

**"Hello?" I asked.**

**"Um, is this Wolf O'Donnell?" asked the voice on the other line. Funny. I don't know who this guy is...**

**"And if I am?" I asked.**

**"That doesn't answer my question, sir," replied the voice.**

**"Well, given that I'm gruff, I'm blunt, and pretty fucking irritated by this stupid phone call, then yeah, you've got the right guy," I replied. "What do you want?"**

**"C-calm down sir," replied the voice on the other line. "I'm not here to harrass you. I just wanted to ask you some questions. About Link."**

**"Oh, damn it, I'm not a fan service!" I replied angrily. Okay, this guy is seriously pissing me off. "I'll give you ten seconds to come up with a damn good excuse for yourself before I hang up on you, got it?"**

**"Relax, sir," replied the voice. "I'm Link's doctor at the mental hospital!"**

**"Oh, really?" I asked. Damn it, I'll give this son of a bitch credit; he may be annoying, but he came up with a damn fine excuse. "What were the names of his two cellmates?"**

**"Ike and Solid Snake, if memory serves me correctly," replied the other person.**

**"Hot damn..." I replied. Never thought anybody could get that right, since the other fans don't know that shit. "And then where did he go shortly before I was released?"**

**"To segregation," said the person on the other line.**

**Pah. The gentleman's way of saying the under-there. God, I hate that term. But still, I'm pretty amazed that he got that part right...**

**"Damn..." I said. "I'm sorry about that. I get fans that call me all the time abou Link, and it gets annoying as all hell to answer every motherfucking phone call to be greeted with some teenage squeeky voice who's all 'oh, hey, do you think Link'll be fine?'. It gets on my nerves."**

**"I can see that," replied the doctor on the other line. "I need to ask you some questions about Link."**

**"Sure," I said. If he's not a fan, then he can know. That's how it goes around here, anyways. "What's up?"**

**"Uh, I have here that the hospital said he suffered severe trauma at the hands of the warden..." replied the guy on the other line. Hospital records.**

**"Well, I did break into there, so yes, that's right," I said.**

**"But somehow, I get the feeling that there's more to it than that," he replied. "Do you know of anything that might have happened?"**

**I nodded, considering his question quietly in my head.**

**"There was a lot more going on than people like to know," I said. "But I'm not surprised it's not out yet, because they only just started interrogating those asshat guards that were there."**

**"There is?" asked the other voice. "What is it?"**

**"This is what happened," I said. "His second cellmate seemed like a nice guy, right? Snake's former cellmate was let out on bail from his girlfriend or something like that, and then Link was transferred there. You follow me?"**

**"Go on," said the doctor. Good, he got it.**

**"Snake went on to rape Link multiple times without anybody knowing about it," I said.**

**"What?" asked the doctor.**

**"It gets worse," I said. "There's the part where he got into segregation..."**

**"Oh, dear..." muttered the doctor. "Something is telling me I should not listen, but I will listen anyways, because Link needs it!"**

**"Really?" I asked. "How bad of a shape is he in?"**

**"He's in really bad shape," replied the doctor. "He will not talk to anybody at all. He just sits in that bed all day. And when I try to administer treatment, he resists my assistants with all he has. And he mumbles constantly to people that are not there..."**

**Holy shit, that is really bad shape. Actually, I think that to say it's really bad is an understatement. I think that that's fucking horrible!**

**"That's the understatement of the century," I replied. "But anyways, what happened was this; his first cellmate and I found him in a room, and the we tried to talk to him. He let out about the rape, and when Snake came in a few seconds later, we apprehended him. Next thing you know, the guy goes crazy and kills Ike with a dumbbell. The guards go in and start asking _me_ questions, and then next thing you know Link kills Snake. And on top of that, he goes into segregation, where there's apparently all this grimy shit waiting for you. I'm telling you, what he went throgh was fucking terrible."**

**"Oh..." replied the doctor. "I had no idea. Why didn't anybody say this to me sooner?"**

**"You know how that idiot Dedede was," I replied. "He hid a lot of things, and believe me, I would know from seeing most of them. And only a fraction of it has come out as of now. I'm pretty fucking sure that the rest of the island will be screaming for blood once the rest of the story comes out about how much of an asshole he was."**

**"So am I, now that I hear this," replied the doctor. "Oh, how did we not see any of these things coming at all?"**

**"Hey, put in a self-centered pussy who hides behind his office doors and makes people go through the worst conditions possible, and there you go," I said. "Anyways, I probably shouldn't hold you from your work. Let me know how he is in the near future, okay?"**

**"I will," replied the doctor. "Thank you for telling me all that."**

**"Hey, it's nice to talk about things with people, you know?" I said. "Bye."**

**"Goodbye," replied the doctor.**

**And then, the tone that shows he hung up.**

**Actually, this doctor isn't a bad guy.**

**Crap! I just realized I don't even know his name!**

**But I glanced at the machine briefly, and ran to it. I checked the recieved calls function, and I came across the number that I had just picked up. It read something like 'Olimar' or something like that.**

**Dr. Olimar, eh? Okay. At least I have his name for future reference.**

**Now, where was I?**

**Oh yeah. Surfing channels. I leapt over the couch and continued flipping through channels.

* * *

**

**_Oh, dear. I never knew..._**

**_I stood there for a few minutes at the receptionists', eyes staring blankly ahead of him. Thank goodness nobody scheduled any visits today, because that would be embarrasing if anybody came in here._**

**_Damn it. That's terrible. No wonder he came in here worse than all the others. I couldn't even have imagined everything he had gone through... The rapes... The deaths by the dumbbells... The terrible conditions under segregation... The immense torture at the hands of the warden and his guards..._**

**_Oh... This is too much for most people to fathom, and yet it happened._**

**_Oh, why do people have to be sick and twisted enough to envision such a thing? I understand everything about why they get messed up, but still, how could any supreme beings allow such things to happen to people? I don't understand how any merciful gods or whatever would allow this to happen..._**

**_Religion is quack. It always was quack. But if it can't answer why they don't intervene in every little bad thing that happens to a man, I don't see how they can exist..._**


	20. Chapter 19

Well, guys, I hate to say it, but this is the last chapter before the epilogue. And here, the shit really hits the fan. Hard. And unfortunately, you might not even know when it shows up since most of it happens in Link's head.

But anyways, we'll see about that, shall we? Let's get on with the conclusion of the thing that's made everybody hope that Link lives. (I apologize in advance. ;))

* * *

Chapter 19

**_Okay, I'm calm. I'm calm. I'm perfectly calm._**

**_Uh, Link. Yes, I need to go over there today so I can oversee the next electrostatic shock. I'm not even asking for Lucario's help today, so I've got to do this all by myself here._**

**_And for some reason, I'm always here first. It's a trend I can't seem to break; I arrive to everything early. So I'm always left standing here waiting for my assistants._**

**_But thankfully, the first of my assistants shows up. I nodded to my assistant, and it nodded back a I looked at the door._**

**_"How far behind are the others?" I asked._**

**_"We're busy, sir," replied the assistant. "But they'll be here shortly."_**

**_That's what they always say. But that's me being rough on them, I know it. Okay, Olimar, be patient. Things are going to work out fine..._**

* * *

**Okay, what was that?**

Seriously, Roy? I have no clue.

theyreallywanttokillmetheyjustwonttellme

**Well, of course they won't! What would the point of killing you be if they told you about it?**

_You're a useless piece of shit, Link. That's why they injected you with the stuff._

imuselessbutithoughtiwasaperson

Just because you live life does not mean you get to be important.

**Now, be a good boy and stop struggling against them.**

_Oh, look. Here they come now._

noidontwanttodiepleasegetthemawayfromme

Well, you know we cannot do that.

**You're on your own here.**

butnoidontwanttodieidontwanttofuckingdie

_Link! What the hell are you doing!_

**Stop, man! Stop running!**

noiwillnotstoprunningtheyaretryingtokillme

**What? You're going to the roof? That's suicide!**

Stop! This is insanity! This is madness!

screwyouganondorfidontneedthisanymorefuckyouall

_Fuck us? When you have been the one causing all our problems?_

**Oh, damn it! He's on the roof! He'll kill himself!**

**No, man! Stop! Think for a second!**

**Wait. Who is that?**

_It's the doctor! What do you think he is going to say?_

hewantstokillmeanywayssoimightaswelldohisownjobforhimfirst

**What are you talking about? That is insane!**

notanymoreinsanethanyounotleavingmealonemaybeishouldkillmyselfbecauseofyouassholes

What? How are we assholes?

youallareevilretardedbuttheadsandiwillnotstandforthisatallyouneverleavemealoneandyoualldeservetodiesothere

**Wait! Link! Stop!**

**Don't jump over the edge!**

Oh, no. It is too late.

**Noooo!**

**Nooo!**

Noooo!

_Noooo--!_

* * *

**_Oh my god. Oh my god._**

**_Link just jumped off of the edge of the building. Oh my god. He just jumped off of the edge of the fucking building!_**

**_Blood. All over the ground. Oh dear, I never thought this would happen to any of my subjects! I knew I should have created a lock for that door earlier! Fuck!_**

**_My assistants are as shocked as I am about all this. They just turned to me, their eyes very wide._**

**_After a while, I heard footsteps, and Lucario and the rest of the hospital staff are right there next to me._**

**_"What happened?" asked Lucario._**

**_He didn't dare look down there. I shook my head, finally standing up from where I had knelt the entire time._**

**_"Call the police," I said. "We've had a suicide."_**

* * *

I can't see anything. I don't see Zelda, Roy, Ganondorf, Marth, the hospital building, or anything else. I don't even see that doctor that tried to kill me.

That's it. I'm not stuck in a cage anymore. Now I don't have to pretend to be something I'm not. Now I don't have to deal with the people that invaded the last minutes of my life. I'm finally free from that tight cage I myself created so many years ago when I thought I could parade around as the Hero of Time and do everything I wanted. I'm free from the cage that put me in that jail. I'm free from that cage that eventually caused me to lose my mind.

I'm free at last. Thank Fayrore almight, I'm free at last.


	21. Epilogue

So here I am once again at an epilogue chapter.

And this is the point that I officially let go of the _Symphonische Metamorphosen _universe. To be honest, I think my ideas for SM held together better than these ideas here in Paranoia (thanks mostly to the fact that I just really got into SM), but I still enjoyed writing these fics a lot. SM was cool, and this was actually really fun to write once Link went mad since I got to break all the rules. But hey, I'm allowed to break the rules for artistic expression when appropriate, right?

Anyways, here's the epilogue. Enjoy!

* * *

Epilogue

Here I am, sitting on a branch of a tree. It's raining especially hard today for some reason, and nobody can really see me. I'm more than just a little creeped out about being here, but I'll pull through.

After all, it's not every day that you attend your own funeral as a ghostly apparition that nobody really sees anyways. Actually, I think this is the only time I'm going to attend my funeral in this state that I'm in, as I'm only buried once really. Oh well.

As I sat on the branches of the tree, I saw my coffin there being lowered into the ground. I can actually see the coffin, because not very many people came to my funeral. But really, why should they? I was just a stupid attention whore; nobody should attend my funeral.

But it was a fairly strange crowd: Sonic and Wolf were both there, as was that doctor that tried to kill me. Sonic actually brought his girlfriend over there. Amy, I take it? She's a hot chick, I'll give him that much; to think that Snake could have ruined their relationship...

Also with Sonic is this small little girl with brown hair. Those eyes... she must be Mist. Oh, I wish Ike was here with me now; I'm sure he'd be happy to see his sister having moved on. I think that's about it for the funeral, actually. A crowd of five people, plus the minister, who doesn't really count anyways.

I guess I made myself like Jay Gatsby, in a way. I had so many friends when I was alive, and yet, very few people actually attend my funeral. I should have read more carefully when I took _The Great Gatsby_ home with me after the first tournament; maybe then, I'd be truly appreciated in the world instead of being known as a phony.

The coffin was finally lowered into the ground, and then the group tossed flowers into the hole. Oh, so they bought flowers? I wasn't expecting that...

The five people suddenly turned around in the rain, umbrellas all turning in sync as they walked away. I leapt off of the branch and followed them. Of course, they didn't notice me since I'm not really there, but I can listen in on their conversation.

"Wow..." began Mist first. "Such a sad way to die..."

"Jumping off a building like that..." added Amy. "That must have hurt a lot..."

"The autopsy was very bad..." said the doctor, shaking his head. "Oh, there must have been something I could have done to save him!"

Oh, so he wasn't trying to kill me? Oh, those damned four! They're certainly getting a bad word when I'm taken to wherever we go when we die.

"Relax," replied Sonic. "No point in dwelling on what you could have done. You tried your best; that's really all that matters in the end."

"Yeah," added Wolf, nodding his head solemnly. "Life goes on, and there are only other things you have to look forward to later. Maybe you can make it a point to save as many of your patients as you can..."

"But..." replied the doctor. Man, that guy's a perfectionist...

"You don't always have to get everybody in good form," replied Amy. "The world still goes on. So look forwards. Maybe you'll find something worth doing."

The doctor nodded solemnly. Wow, he takes his job seriously. I wish those four hadn't decieved me. Maybe then, I'd be merrily chatting with some people right before my execution, and I'd actually have really insightful last words...

And, we're at the cemetery gates. I stay behind as they walk away. I can't wander any farther than the graveyard, or else I get so tired I almost want to enter a sleep I don't want to wake up from. Ghosts are bound to the area they haunt, in a way. But I won't be on this earth for much longer, so that's kind of a moot point anyways.

They paused at the cemetery gates, looking at each other with long, thoughtful looks.

"So this is where we part ways..." said Sonic. "Well, I'll see you guys around."

"See ya," replied Wolf.

Olimar simply waved, and then the five of them went off in different directions, away from the cemetary and back to their nice comfortable homes.

I actually did find out about what happened to Dedede through a newspaper cutout that blew into the cemetary one day. He got thrown into the very jail that he ran so cruelly, and apparently part of his sentence is to get what he gave to every prisoner that he abused. Funny. Now he's probably in as bad a state as I am, and yet nobody really cares. Neither do I, actually. I never liked him from the start anyways.

And as for Snake? He's boiling in a river of blood right now, according to what I heard from Ike. I'm actually not going to hell, though. I was surprised too, but when I was judged, it turns out that my actions to try to help the prisoners constituted a repentance that saved my soul from damnation. Well, at least I did one thing right. So any moment now, I'll be going to Purgatory.

And it turns out that this is my time, because the world is slowly slipping from my vision. I don't try to fight it; no fighting the afterlife after all.

I smiled briefly, knowing that my heart was free for all eternity, and that I no longer had to worry about anything in the world.

* * *

**_Fin._**

* * *

A/N: Well, guys, that's the end of this fic. I hope you liked it!

And to the superlatives? Here we go:

Here's to the people that consistently reviewed this story:

PhantomBoo, Tolea-String-PurpleChoco-Mage, JtheChosen1, QJD1381.

Next, for everybody that reviewed (though not very often):

KILL THE EMPIRE, El Nino1, blackfang13, an awesome blossom, Kitt Kumo, Kehrico, FlamingDoritos.

Then, for everybody that fav'd this:

Dar Ruby Sage, Electric Eclectric, FlamingDoritos, WakaLaka4Life, Wolfkitteh, mr.omegavimto892, sankontessu.

And once again, I have to thank RoyalFanatic for everything. She didn't really do much with this one, but without her story _A Forbidden Love_, _Symphonische Metamorphosen_ would not have been born. And no _Symphonische Metamorphosen_, no _Paranoia_.

And that's all. If you liked this, be sure to check out _Legend_ in the Fire Emblem section, and if I write any more SSB fics you'll know where to look. Peace.

-Herr Wozzeck


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